Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Not Going Anywhere

A bunch of people going through really rough patches the past few days or weeks, so hopefully things pick up for everyone. Developments have given some affirmation over difficult decisions, and others reason to doubt. For what it's worth, I think that even if mistakes have been made, the only thing that that means is that you have more opportunity to grow, instead. Cliché, I know, and you know how much I hate those.

Readers of this space – both the observant regulars and the casual ones – would have guessed by now that something's up. Some accost and try and cajole secrets to be revealed, but I'll just say that I'm not comfortable being too open about certain things.

But you write about those things on your awesome blog, you cry out. Yes, yes I do. And I write only as much as I am comfortable sharing right now. The clever ones may have seen more amidst the nonsense, perhaps, but the fact remains that right now, as ever, things are uncertain, and there's little point in raising any hopes for something that is at best a slim possibility. I'm not pessimistic, just realistic.

That being said, it's not like I don't talk or think about it.

"She sounds like a keeper."

"She is."

Conversation with a friend of mine only recently.

Thing is, I still don't really know what she thinks.

Sometimes it feels right, and it's going to work simply because it seems so natural. Other times it feels like I'm fishing with the wrong bait. Or no bait at all. Watching that one get away.

Those times it feels like nothing is going anywhere.

But I guess the only thing to do is stick.

I'm not going anywhere.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Trust

A funny thing.

Can't hold it, yet it weighs heavily.

Can't put a price to it, but it's valued above all else.

Can't paint it, picture it, but you can see when it's there.

Takes an age to build up, and can be destroyed in an instant.

And no matter how much you think you have, sometimes it's not enough.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Promises

Lately that word's been cropping up a lot. With you.

Some people use it lightly, though I'd like to think I'm not one of them. Promises I make, I keep. Trust me.

At the same time, I'd expect the same from anyone else.

You can't always ask for a promise though. And I'm not.

And sometimes you just have to go with it, even without that assurance.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Hold That Thought

Many of us are guilty of wishful thinking. Few more so than me. The events of the last few weeks have given me a lot to think about, to dream about. To hope for. Your fault, heh.

Dangerous thing, this. Hope. Lost it a long time ago.

So I've decided to discard it. The cliché of there always being hope is a nice thought, but with hope comes expectation and the possibility of disappointment and heartbreak. Again.

I'm not pessimistic though. Even though I'm sad.

Just realistic. Thoughtful, pensive, broody.

Things don't happen unless you do something, I believe. So that's what I'll do. What I'm doing. Right place at the right time. Right person.

Holding that thought. Holding on for you.

Also, hello to the new visitors.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Little Miss Honesty

"Oh, you wanna hear something honest?"

"Always."

"I do kinda miss you."

"Smiling like an idiot now."

"Really? Haha."

"Really."

Really. Honesty rocks.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

A Mess

I wonder, sometimes, many times, where everything is going. Especially with you.

Those closest to me joke about things that affect me the most, and truth be told I'm perfectly alright with the jibes. Humor and laughter are important parts of my life.

But then there are times where I start to wonder if it's all going to be one big joke and nothing else.

Almost unreal how things have worked out, the way I'm spending my time. How I think only of you.

Never thought it would be this way, but then who can ever predict how anything turns out?

Not me, not now. Sometimes I'm afraid to hope.

May

For the longest time, the month was a really exciting, meaningful one for me.

A lot has changed in the past year or so, and now this period doesn't hold the wonder it used to.

No bitterness, just the way things are.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Sleep

For most my life I've been able to fall asleep rather easily, and am usually a rather good morning person. Lately though, it's taken a long time to go to sleep.

Of course, it's by choice.

"Worth losing sleep over"

That's what someone said. I guess she was right, in more ways than one.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Bias

Normally, I'm against bias, striving for something impartial and fair and just. Lately, though, I've been talking to someone a lot and that someone keeps saying I'm biased.

They point to the fact that I seem to tolerate certain things that I normally wouldn't, and then triumphantly exclaim, with much aplomb, that such an overwhelming bias seems to be demonstrated by your truly. But that's just it, I think. Embracing someone in spite of all the things you normally wouldn't.

Maybe I am supremely biased, but so what? That's just the thing. Isn't that what love is?

The best kind of bias.

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like we're as close as two people can be, closer than anything or anyone anywhere and anytime. When I'm holding you, hand-in-hand, face in your hair.

Other times it feels like you're a million miles away. And it's those times that I realize how much I want you, when I'd walk those miles to be with you.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Man Utd 3-1 Tottenham

It's said that you make your own luck, and detractors of Manchester United will be pointing to the fortune of the Red Devils as they came away with a 3-1 win at Old Trafford against a distinctly uninspired Spurs earlier today. Two penalties sent United back to the summit of the Premier League, but unlike the controversy that surrounded the one won by Michael Carrick at White Hart Lane earlier this season, the brace that Ryan Giggs dispatched were as clear as any in recent memory.

After a lackluster first half, characterized more by Wilson Palacious' poor performance than anything else, United fans may have been worried. Missing the mercurial Wayne Rooney, the home side lined up 4-5-1, with Dimitar Berbatov spearheading the team's attack against the side that brought him to English football. The lanky Bulgarian has been criticized from nearly all corners since he signed for Sir Alex Ferguson's side, with many claiming his "languid" approach did not gel with the quick style that United so enjoy. Rooney himself seems a much better alternative, certainly, and few would argue against it. Carlos Tevez seemed liked a better choice as well, and his form for the blue half of Manchester suggests that perhaps United would have been better off spending a significant chunk of Cristiano Ronaldo's transfer fee on retaining the tenacious Argentine rather than keep faith in the striker who seems a mere shadow of Eric Cantona.

Tevez, and probably Rooney, for the matter, would not have been able to find Patrice Evra with a delicate backheel after holding off an opposing defender, winning the penalty that lead to the opening goal, however. Indeed, Wayne Rooney's biggest weakness is perhaps his temperament and after a frustrating 45 minutes, he probably would have swung wildly at the ball (or a defender) stuck under his feet. Granted, Rooney's attitude has improved at least as much as his finishing, but the flak that Berbatov receives is overwhelming at the best of times, and it is unfair to expect the same kind of performances he enjoyed at Spurs and Leverkusen when he is now played alone upfront against teams set out to defend. An accomplished performance from the Bulgarian against a team who can be genuinely considered a "Top Four Side".

Much of the hype before the game surrounded the sensational form of Gareth Bale, touted by some as the next Ryan Giggs. Comparisons to the Welsh legend are inevitable, one supposes, seeing as how both share so many attributes. Still, on the day, the senior Welshman scored twice, leading his team to victory, while Bale had his hands full shackling Antonio Valencia, who went off injured.

Another United casualty, Patrice Evra, appeared to be suffering from illness rather than injury, with the commentators joking that his retching on the field was in part due to the introduction of a returning Aaron Lennon. But the best reactions on the night were reserved, deservedly, for Nani's delicate chip for United's second goal after being put through by young Macheda, impressing during his short cameo appearance. The Italian, alongside United's other substitutions, bringing on John O'Shea as well as Michael Carrick, demonstrated a strength in depth that just about every club in the division would envy. Harry Redknapp, on the other hand, was forced to shuffle his players around, and saw his side concede almost immediately after taking off Jermaine Defoe, arguably their best striker. The introduction of Chelsea old boy Eidur Gudjohnsen did little to affect the course of the game, though, with Nemaja Vidic's timely interception in particular nullifying the Icelandic forward's contribution. Tom Huddlestone, David Bentley and Luka Modric especially were surprisingly disappointing as well, and so was Roman Pavlyuchenko, though after the Russia's shocking misses against Chelsea last time out one wonders if that was to be expected. With all of Tottenham's attacking flair, it took a combination of a determined leap from their captain Ledley King – and poor positioning from Rafael Da Silva – to bag a goal, albeit from a set piece.

Ultimately, the result may have boiled down to a series of errors from an underperforming Tottenham side rather than a rampant Red Devils. The scoreline did not flatter the home side, yet they did not play particularly well. United and their fans will be delighted with the result against a side in top form. Denying the men from London a famous hat-trick of wins against the big sides, the Red Devils now need to maintain their form, and their fortune, and hope that the other Londeners throw their league aspirations away.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Buffed

I can still remember my first day as a UB student.

Walked into that big-ass lecture theatre, sat myself down. Picked the second-last seat in the row, since it was both convenient and not as standoff-ish as plonking yourself down in the very last seat and giving everyone reason to avoid saying "excuse me" on the first day of school, bright and early.

Saw an army buddy, in those Oakleys that I had too (I got them first!). Looked around again.

Quirky-looking girl shuffled in, pushing her glasses up her nose nervously. Pointed at the empty seat.

"Eh-eh-excuse me. But can I sit here?"

I stifled a chuckle, her huge black plastic rims and checkered shirt settling down as well.

Couple hours later, I was outside the freezing room, lining up for free coffee (remember those?), and that quiet girl was cursing like a drunken sailor together with this white girl with loud eyeshadow.

Spent the first few months around the same group of people that the seniors made us run around Orchard with, and to this day it's some of these people who remain some of my most favorite persons. Some I don't talk to or see as much as I'd like, but maybe that will change. Maybe. Some of them shower in four minutes and have an obsession with Pokemon. Others work themselves up into a frantic frenzy about a possibly wrongly-answered question in a Math test, only to ace it, deeming it "OK lah."

Met a few other people quite soon after. Guy with a spandex fetish. Another funky girl with short hair. The business fella. Atas one.

Some time later, grew close to a few others. The one on vacation from Taiwan, with whom things have sometimes been tenuous. He can remember that Vitamin C deficiency leads to scurvy. And come up with an almost encyclopedic amount of written material on command, it seems.

There was a year or so where I tolerated some questionable characters and behavior from certain individuals, though that finally stopped. Some say it should have happened sooner, others say I was stupid to begin with. They're all probably right.

Finally got to know the girl with flappy ears, the innocent short one, and that foul-mouthed White Girl from earlier, who by now was happily attached (and perpetually… attached) to Mr. Spandex. Also people like the celebrity from Chestnut Drive, Captain Cap, the Family Man, the one with the Joker-smile, a Minah, Guiza, Headphone Girl, Baking Girl, Madame President, Orange Pants, Purple Hair. Good times.

Awesome times.

Laughing, football, random outings, projects, pretending to study.

Huddled at Lido late in the evening with Flappy and Shorty, sighing as they tried to make me feel better about things. Crash course in stats, Mortal Kombat with White Girl at West Coast. Driving back and watching the sun set in the distance.

McDonald's breakfasts and introduction to ice cream cakes with the chart-topper from Chestnut Drive. Wonder if she still scribbles, and if she can park yet.

A whole lot of nonsense, usually involving music and singing and acting like an idiot, with Captain Cap and Family Man. I won't forget what you got me to do at Fish & Co. Or the A1 boyband antics. Garlic Naan in Kembangan.

Talking about so many things with Joker Smile dude and his Liquid Designer. DotA, United and Liverpool, NS, people, life. Late night French Fries with Cap'n Cap and Family Man in Chinatown.

LAN sessions with many of them. Ownage and being owned. Terrorists, Zombies, Scouts, Creeps.

Deal with that Minah, so she'd stop smacking me. But she still does, from time to time. Prata and KFC suppers.

Heckload of time with Guiza, not only because of the craptastic amount of work and classes we got dumped together in. Joined by Headphone Girl, with many stupidly late nights spent trying to start studying. Failing but not caring most times.

Brownies and burgers and lollipops and CDs and plastic straw constructions from Baking Girl.

Madame President sat down with me in the smelly canteen, asked me to do something I didn't originally believe in. Convinced me I could and should do it. I don't regret it, and it's perhaps something that really defined the way my time went, and for that I'm thankful and honored. She still owes me dinner.

Crazy talk with Orange Pants. Late night train rides with her red-eyed and wobbly, laughing, people watching us uneasily. Silly quack.

Inside jokes and 80's music with Purple Hair. Mythbusters, Toto, Roti John, b.o.b., Attenborough, black holes, quantum physics, Friends.

Friends.

That's what I remember, look back fondly at, when looking at the past few years. Haven't mentioned everyone. Not nearly. Not even close.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Amazing

Past few days have been spectacular, actually. Filled with things I didn't expect, couldn't have asked for. You. With me. Here.

Nothing earth-shattering or world-changing, I think, but still. Spectacular to me, because it just is.

Everything brings back memories, but now better ones are being forged.

Surprises and quiet walks, cheery rain and closeness. Face in your hair.

C'mere. Sorry 'bout tickling your neck.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Stupid

Everyone is stupid from time to time. Some have flashes of inspired stupidity more often than others, and there are those who seem to be perpetually mired in its depths. I'm sorry I'm stupid.

My turn. Drop everything and run to me. It'll work. I promise.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Definitions

I recently read about how some believe love is when you care about someone or something more than caring about yourself.

Another one was that love was something that opened a chamber of your heart to happiness and pain, lots of both, but when you feel that the pain is worth it all.

Someone asked about happiness, if one would sacrifice his or hers to avoid misery. But can you be not miserable if you aren't happy? But can you be happy and miserable at the same time?

Questions, abstract thoughts, all without any resolution, it seems. But I love you, you make me happy and sad. And it's worth it.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

What You Don’t See

Another long day.
                                  So close to touch but yet so far
And night full of thoughts.
                                 With leaves and stars and walks all week
It's hard, I say.
                                 It seems no matter where you are
Doing what you ought.
                                 With just a smile my knees go weak

You ask what's wrong.
                                 It's bittersweet with ups and down
Under that tree.
                                 The midnight talks and long rides home
Been there all along.
                                 With you the smiles are all around
And always I've seen.
                                 But in the end I'm still alone

Monday, April 05, 2010

Back To The Real World

"Eye level"

And she rose up from the seat shaped like a tree stump, planting herself on the similarly-decorated table. For a moment she said nothing more, eyes flashing under the moonlight, the amber glow of the streetlamps casting a yellow haze on the night. The breeze snaked through the quiet buildings, lending a coolness to the warm evening. A wisp of hair, unruly and disobedient, fell across her eyes and she flicked it over a bare shoulder.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Doing good?"

"Mhmm."

"Thanks for tonight."

"You don't have to thank me. I like nights like this."

"I like the company."

A smile, and then mirrored an instant later. Looking away after a long heartbeat, before his gaze trailed back. Absently reaching. A Beatles classic as a group of strangers walked past in the distance, their laughter echoing that of the midnight pair under the leaves and stars. Staring.

"We should be getting back."

"In a minute."

And so the minute passed, and two pairs of footsteps moved through the gloom. Hands reaching for each other in the quiet, over imagined obstacles.

"We could… stay."

"No, no we can't. Time to get back to the real world."

"This is the real world to me. This is more real than anything else."

"Don't."

"It's true."

"I know. I just don't know what it is you see. I don't understand."

"And that's just one more thing to add to the list of things I love about you."

"Stop -"

"Hammertime?"

Laughter once more. They stepped around dirt and debris, watching for cars and hidden steps. Arms around one another, silent except for the sighs.

"Thank you."

"I told you, you didn't have to thank me."

"You gave me a night where I couldn't stop smiling. For that I can't thank you enough."

Another smile, matched once more. Hair in his face.

"Let's go."

"Mhmm."

An embrace.

"Good night."

That Hocus Pocus

Been a strange couple of weeks, to say the least. With work piling up, the last thing anyone needs is more stuff on their plate.

But here it is. Quite suddenly, unexpectedly, irresistibly. Just like you.

I love it. I love everything that's going on and hate it all the same.

Questions have been raised, whispers and doubts. Concerns of if's and should's and thoughts of how things may have been different. About being selfish or sneaky, long phone calls and big hugs and silly smiles. Movies and bread. Holding you.

How's it going to end? I want you for myself. All of you.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Wishlist

Normally I'm against posts that do nothing but announce to the world what you want for your birthday, but mine is still a ways away, and I'm just killing time anyway. Here goes.

Football every week, with the people I've been playing with. All of them

Electric shaver, one of those nice ones

Louder, clearer earphones and your taste in great songs.

Ice cream with you.

Cash, lots of it so I could get you what you wanted.

Irritating people to go away and for you to be here.

All and everything I want, no matter the cost

To know sign language

A new shirt. Purple, maybe like the one you like.

You and only you.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Bittersweet

What do you do when the thing that makes you happiest also makes you sad?

"I miss you."

"Don't."

"Too late."

"That could be something from a movie."

"You're the star even if that movie's never shot."

Starry Starry Night

A long, long day.

Started and ended almost magically, with time seeming to vanish and stars appearing in the purple skies.

Walking along, the view was stunning, and that was before I even looked up at the clouds.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Distractions

Ton of work to do. Things to write and review, edit and compile.

Yet I find my attention fixated on things anything but academic. Losing sleep, long moments in silence, echoing laughter punctuated by knowing smiles.

Honesty has always been something I've advocated, believed in, practiced. It can be scary sometimes, I'm told, but then in those times I find myself realizing that there is little need to be anything but totally truthful, baring it all with nothing to hide. Frighteningly so, but then lately there have been a few uncommon labels being cast about.

Is that so wrong?

Sinister romantic.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

The Fool

Exam in less than half an hour, and my mind is filled with a vision, but not the neurology kind that is being tested.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Tragic Relief

"If it's any consolation, you already make me happy."

"Then I now have a reason to smile tonight."

Another time and place.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

While You Were Sleeping

I think you're sleeping.

I hope you sleep well, and that when you wakr up, you feel better.

Because like I've been telling you all this time, you're someone who means alot to me, more than anything or anyone.

And there's a reason for that, many reasons.

But i've told you all of them already, yet I feel you still don't know.

I'm here, if you ever feel that you need anything.

Pensive

Been a whirlwind past couple of days, so far. Pizza and teriyaki too, which is always good, but food aside it's been eventful, if without mention. Things have happened which weren't expected or planned or envisioned, and while matters aren't at their best states - as far as I'm concerned - they could be much, much, worse.

Makes me wonder though, if that's even an acceptable attitude. Should I be settle for a result that leaves things just ok?

A few people said recently, and I do agree that, everyone is entitled to pursue their own happiness.

I'd like to think that too, though often times you have to think about things beyond your own world and life.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Joke

Sometimes when I try and be serious, when I'm more serious than I've ever been, people don't get it.

Not everything is a joke, and sometimes what I've already said what I wanted, though maybe it isn't what I should have.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Oh The Movie Never Ends

Someone dear to me said recently that I should write a book or movie, seeing as how I am "full of cheesy lines". While I'm sure (or I hope) that it was meant as a friendly compliment, often times I wonder about things to do with things like that.

Vague, I know.

Alot of things going on now, if it were to be made a movie, the plot would be so convoluted I wouldn't know where to begin.

Probably with the simple question of "How are you?"

Something quite often overlooked, but a question that can mean and reveal so much, both in the manner of asking and answering.

Quite a few people around me facing one problem or another in their own little movies nowadays. Issues with space and time, problems unsaid and unspoken, melancholy vibes, stress and anxiety.

Sometimes I feel like the things I tend to wrest with in my head aren't all that serious, seeming trivial when compared to how others are. I can smile, laugh, joke that "that's what she said" and go off on ice-cream and cookie adventures, yet some say I've become broody. Tsk. I hate party-poopers.

I catch myself from time to time in the midst of doing something I know isn't smart or right or both. Yet I keep on going back to it, knowing it won't end well and that it's all for naught. Why? I tell myself that I need to stop, to forget it, to get past this thing. Then it happens again, every day.

I ask questions and dodge others, offer advice but don't take my own. What the hell am I doing?

How are you, really, really?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Fore!

About a year ago, I wrote a little something about Manchester United thoroughly whipping the boys of the Emirates. This time, though, the old enemy managed to rally and romp to a thumping win over Porto, and without their talismanic captain Cesc Fabregas.

Like their bitter rivals, United also faced a recent winner of the European Cup in an aging AC Milan, though most will agree that the difference in quality between the Rossoneri and the Dragoes are plain to see. Brilliantly-named forward Hulk notwithstanding, I'd bet that most fans will agree that the Italians are a much sterner test. Yes, Arsenal had to come from behind, but it was their own doing anyway.

Anyway.

The big story going into the mouthwatering tie at Old Trafford was the return of icon David Beckham, of course. Disappointingly, perhaps, he only made a short cameo at near the end of the fixture, and that when it seemed academic. He did, however, provide Milan with perhaps their best chances; a quite stunning volley and a teasing cross which Inzaghi contrived to miss from inside the six-yard box.

In the end, as was expected, Wayne Rooney saw that the Red Devils were headed (pun, see!) to the quarter-finals, and as so aptly pointed out by others before me, it is telling that among all the comparisons to another former United number 7, the expensively-assembled side from Madrid were knocked out by another team they pried a starlet from with the promise of success and wealth. Ronaldo, Kaka, Benzema and friends will be watching from the stands, I'm sure, when the showpiece final is held at the Bernabeu in a couple of months.

As far as the actual match went, much praise has been heaped on both Sir Alex Ferguson and Park Ji-Sung. I refuse to say Ji-Sung Park, or, as a certain "pundit" calls him, Sun Ji Park, obviously mixing him up with Sun Ji Hai, his former team mate at Man City. And he gets paid to talk like that?

Anyway.

Wily veteran, cagey old war dog, crazy Scot. We all have our own nicknames for the United gaffer, but at Old Trafford and pit against relative newcomer Leonardo, he showed why he has put so much faith in his Korean midfielder. Throughout the entire 90 minutes, I don't think Pirlo got more than one through ball to assist in a decent attacking move. How Leonardo must have wished he was back on the pitch to match his dazzling talents against the likes of what has been a shaky United back-line.

Yet the United defence held firm, in no small part thanks to the non-contribution of "The Hunter" Klas-Jan Huntelaar. If this was anything to go by, he might be hunting for a new club soon enough. Fans of Liverpool berate Dirk Kuyt's tendency to shoot straight at the 'keeper when presented with a chance (though it trickles in for some reason), but at least the pseudo-winger manages to get a few chances on target. His Dutch counterpart, unwanted by an aforementioned Spanish giant, did less than Berbatov, and the laid-back Bulgarian only came on in the second half, with United comfortable.

Gary Neville and young deputy Rafael both did superbly, and I now (and have been) question those who called the Brazilian's earlier showing against Milan troubled. I though he coped well against Ronaldinho, who was another non-factor this time. Evra as always was dependable, providing solid cover and an attacking thrust down the left to compliment the ever-surprising Nani. Vidic and Ferdinand, for so long mainstays and mammoths in the United backline, nullified the three-pronged attack of the opposition. Hopefully (for United fans) they can both stay fit and avoid suspensions.

But Pato and Nesta were missing, detractors of United cry. True. But they both played in the reverse fixture, and United won that one. And United were without Wes Brown, Anderson, Ryan Giggs, Owen Hargreaves, Michael Owen and Michael Carrick.

And still brushed aside a team that is oozing with talent, despite the fact that most of them are fast-approaching the time where one considers his pension.

In a season where Wayne Rooney seems to be carrying the burden of launching United towards the goal of domestic and European success, one would be wise to take a close look at what the whole team is capable of, when Sir Alex gets his thinking cap straight. A back four shutting out a two-time Player of the Year. A midfield able to be steely and stylish at the same time, using pace, power or panache when the situation calls for it. And a forward which opponents have called the best in the world, complete, and awesome.

Four-nil.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Attics

Say you're at the door of a burning building, on the verge of collapse. Before you lie three rooms, each equidistant from where you stand, and each holding one individual. From where you are, you can see clearly who is in which room. You have only enough time, courage, strength and luck to run in and save ONE person. What do you do?

1. Save your elderly mother, who has raised you and showered you with love since infancy
2. Save a young, enterprising, aspiring scientist who has recently announced that he has formulated a cure for cancer, HIV, SARS and herpes. This cure is cheap, readily available and proven to work for everyone. Unfortunately, there is no copy of this miracle cure save for what is in his mind.
3. Save a newborn baby, who is otherwise healthy and unrelated to you
4. Watch, recording and post it on YouTube
5. Flee!

Go.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

A Hard Drive

I've always been a computer addict or junkie, whatever you want to call it. I remember messing around on an ancient piece of equipment back when I stayed at Jalan Punai, when you still had to type win to get to Windows. 3.1.

That was quite epic.

This is actually the first laptop I've owned, though I did have a desktop before that. Many people don't exactly approve of the Sony Vaio, but it's served me well enough for the last three years or so, broken letter "E" aside. But then the hard disk died on me.

I was, of course, gutted. Losing all my music, including the stuff from Boyce Avenue and Norwegian Recycling was bone-crunchingly annoying, and right now my collection is still in the single digits. Piracy, yay.

I also lost every school assignment that I've compiled and worked on the past few years. Research papers, videos, presentations, designs, recordings, essays, articles, lists, spreadsheets, documents. Argh.

Photos are alright, I guess, with the advent of Facebook. Everything is online anyway, so they're easily replaced.

No real video games of note other than Team Fortress 2 and Football Manager 2010. The first has already been replaced, thankfully, but the latter's savegame is a lost cause. Alas, my heroics with Darlington will go to waste.

But thinking about everything that's gone now, I realize that among the comics and MP3's and movies and documents and viruses, I've lost something that is truly dear and irreplaceable to me. A long, long, time ago (or what seemed it), someone very special to me made me something. As far as I know, there's only the one (soft) copy of that thing.

Or there was.

Gone now, damneth.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Got a Feeling

Went to bed last night before ten, was tired and drained.

Kept waking up every hour or so, for no reason in particular, all through the night.

Dropped my phone after trying to turn off the alarm, though I was already obviously awake.

Heard the same Black Eyed Peas song four times within fifteen minutes before 8am.

Fell asleep in class and was noticed by the teacher, who was kind enough to put forth a question that was answerable anyway.

Got caught in a massive traffic jam at 10am.

Came home to unappetizing leftovers, though not of any fault of the cook.

And it isn't even lunch-time yet, sigh.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Number Two

Second month of 2010 already, damn time flies.

Seems that alot is happening very very quickly to me and those around me, some of which are good and some of which not so fantastic. Looks like time will tell how it all plays out.

Right now I just want to lie down and switch off my brain.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Arsenal 1-3 Man Utd: Spoiler Free!

And they said it was going to be Arsenal's year.

For all the hype of the potential of Wenger's young squad, the mercurial maturation of Fabregas, the talismanic trickery of Arshavin or the pulsating pace of Walcott, the team that once earned the tag of "the Invincibles" failed spectacularly in living up to the labels and legacies of their predecessors.

"Gunners out-gunned" will be a much-repeated headline all over Britain and other Premier League-crazy areas like here in Singapore as the fallout of the match at the Emirates begins to take hold. And it will be a stunningly accurate summary of the meeting between two of European football's longest-serving and most successful managers, between the teams that have long boasted the most attractive football in the League.

Many Arsenal fans will cry out and be quick to remind others that their squad was missing their regular goal-machine Robin Van Persie, nursing an injury. Still, for a team gunning (pun intended) for top honors to rely so much on an injury-prone striker is distressing, to say the least. Critics may argue, though, that the Red Devils are guilty of the same crime, but one will point out that the United No. 10 is much more robust than the somewhat-fragile Dutchman.

Brazilian-born Croat Eduardo was also missing for Arsenal, of course, which definitely would have contributed to Arsenal's lack of bite upfront. Prudent observers, however, will realize that United were also missing the first-choice pairing at the back of Ferdinand and Vidic, arguably one of the best partnerships in Europe over the last few years. Other casualties to injury of late, Thomas Vermaelen and Gael Clichy, featured instead for the Gunners and while Vermaelen bagged a superb consolation for his seventh goal in a stellar debut season, Clichy was found wanting yet again, as he was against Ashely Young mid-week. Given Ashley Cole's and Kieran Gibbs' past misfortunes against Man Utd, it was perhaps inevitable. And when the only other replacements that Wenger had at his disposal were the aged Sol Campbell and Mikael Silvestre, problems are aplenty.

Manchester United's defence has long been the subject of both praise and scrutiny, often at the same time. With Gary Neville, Ferdinand and Vidic missing for large parts of the past year or more, the burden of responsibility has been laid on what many consider to be the unproven shoulders of Johnny Evans, Wes Brown and the Da Silva twins, Rafael and Fabio. Evans had a decent game for the most part, with a couple of errors that went unpunished as well as excellent interventions on several occasions, one fine tackle in particular that stopped Theo Walcott as the forward looked to use his pace to deadly effect. Rafael again proved every bit the Brazilian that he is, surging forward to aid United's attacking cause, and showing an enthusiasm that at times bordered on the reckless. In time, his defensive awareness should improve, and playing alongside the excellent Patrice Evra will not hurt him in the very least. Wes Brown, though, appears set to follow the footsteps of Phil Neville, Nicky Butt and Louis Saha; established and perhaps international players who are unable to hold down a place in the United first team due to a lack form, fitness, ability or the combination of the three. So often touted as an exciting prospect in defence, he is not the youngster he was so very long ago, and the purchase of Chris Smalling and the emergence of Ritchie De Laet alongside the Da Silva twins will not bode well for him.

For much of January, attention has been placed on off-the-field matters for the big names in the Premier League: American debt and unpaid wages, one-finger salutes and hurled coins, roving England captains and sulking Brazilian wingers. The match itself, though, was a thrilling contest (unless you are an Arsenal fan) filled with end-to-end action and somewhat surprisingly, only one caution. It is perhaps a testament to the professionalism and respect that the two teams and managers have for each other that the days of air-borne pasta and incidents of assault against Jose Antonio Reyes are as long-gone as the spats between Roy Keane and Patrick Viera.

It may have been wise, though, for Arsenal to have looked at their former captain. Perhaps more so than any other instance in the past, Fabregas proved that while he may stroke the ball better than anyone else in the Premier League, he lacks the leadership that Viera and then Henry provided on the pitch. Hailed and renown for his ability to turn a match on its head for the club he captains, he was left a spectator for the most part, often reduced to pot shots from distance, and never really troubled Edwin Van Der Sar and unable to influence the game in any sense. True enough, he has many years to develop that part of his game, but in a world where immediate prizes are valued over intagible potential, one questions if that is a worthy excuse. Andrei Arshavin, however, proved a constant thorn in United's side, though his attacking thrust was aided in no small part by the forward-thinking mindset of marker Rafael Da Silva. Even the Russian, however, was unable to come anywhere close to the astronomical heights he has so often reached during his time with the Gunners and he was thwarted time and again by the iron curtain of the makeshift United backline.

A good defence might give you a chance to win games, but to actually win you need a good attack, and United put on a clinic for Wenger, so long an advocate of free-flowing attacking football. Wayne Rooney, in the form of his life, hounded the entire Arsenal team like a man possessed, taking his goal expertly in the week that Ruud Van Nistelrooy opted for the Bundesliga rather than a return to the Premier League. There are many calls for Rooney to take over the England captaincy from a certain overly-friendly John Terry, and displays like this, combining pace, precision and passion show just why he seems to be destined for that mantle and more. Nani appears to have finally stepped out from the shadow of compatriot Cristiano Ronaldo, shedding his much-maligned persona of the Portugese who does little but acrobatics upon the rare goal and more often when tackled. If you would have told the average United fan a month ago that Nani would be instrumental in three wins in little over a week, he would have laughed in your face. A Man-of-the-Match performance against the old enemies from North London showed just how much improved he is. Michael Carrick, together with a vintage Paul Scholes display and the ever-improving Darren Fletcher effectively dictated the pace of the game, matching and surpassing their opponent's skill, strength and stamina.

During this pivotal juncture of the Premier League, Arsene Wenger's squad must now find a way to turn things around as they look to meet Chelsea and then Liverpool in the coming weeks. Sir Alex Ferguson on the other hand, sees his United side (and Wayne Rooney in particular) hitting fine form in the new year, as they always have. There is a whole lot of football to be played yet, but judging from Sunday, Wenger's boys have some growing up to do and Ferguson's men have begun to find their feet this season.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Thousand Miles

I should have been in New York now.

Technically speaking, of course, I wasn't denied entry. But then I'm still waiting for an answer from the US Embassy.

Some people tell me that it worked out for the best. That this way, I can go on with the things that are happening with my life. Most of them the same people who were trying so hard to convince me that a semester-long exchange program is an opportunity of a lifetime.

Meh.

Alot of things pissing me of royally right about now.

People acting stupidly, and my cat just pulled my keyboard off the table.

Meh.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Stuck

I haven't posted anything here for ages.

I'm not entirely sure why, just keep getting caught up with other things or distracted or maybe haven't really gotten into the mood yet.

Hrm.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Avatar: Spoiler-Free Movie Review

So, I just got back from James Cameron's much-hyped, mega-bucks, special effects extravaganza that was said to be in the works for years and years. As Saj astutely observed, Hollywood directors and producers should take a page out of Cameron's book and take their time to craft a film, because this, this was epic.

Just about everyone has seen the Avatar trailer, or the various behind-the-scenes and the-making-of specials surrounding the blockbuster, and I, for one, was looking forward to it. A point to note, though, was that I was more than willing to accept a rather brainless action movie about aliens and big guns and flashy animals with stunning effects. Which was why I wanted so badly to watch it in 3-D.

That didn't happen, and it was a downer for the hour or so I had to wait before the film began. And even after being seated, Golden Village saw it fit to cram what felt like 49 advertisements for hair-care products and alcoholic beverages (and the perfunctory Visa commercials) while only screening trailers for Alvin & the Chipmunks 2 and Sherlock Holmes. I want to watch one of those movies. Here's a hint: It isn't the one with the word Squeakuel in the promo.

So there I was, all settled in, trying hard not to mind the row of prepubescent Chinese girls and boys (who sounded like girls) that were happily running amok as the lights dimmed. At first, I thought they were misplaced and were actually looking for sparkly gay Vampires, but then the movie started and they shut up.

It's a hallmark of a great and special film when the kinds of people that one expects to tarnish your cinematic experience fade into oblivion. Not a sound came from the group of them, and I'm sure that the fella beside me had his nachos untouched until the end of the movie.

As I was sitting there, trying to think of ways to rephrase "a visual feast that satisfied one's appetite for anything else", I was blown away by, of course, the effects and the sheer magnificence of the backdrops and just about everything going on on-screen. The lush world of Pandora (Borderlands!) is breathtakingly beautiful, and the indigenous flora and fauna are stunning, for lack of a better word. I watched a pretty cool documentary about what life on low-gravity planets might look like, and this seemed close. And there are Mechs! I haven't seen a Mech since The Matrix: Revolutions. Plus, Dragonhawks! Sheit.

The plot isn't that profound, and a quick scan of the trailer would enlighten the casual viewer on the gist of it, but, more importantly, it isn't stupid either. Midway through I realized that it was a hybrid of Pocahontas and Star Trek, quite honestly. There are a handful of things in the film that you would expect and predict, though I won't reveal any details. This doesn't detract from anything though, and while you might not get any Sawesque twists, it seems like just the right blend of intelligent dialogue, witty humour, solid storytelling and fast-paced action to warrant at least a second viewing.

Yep, I decided I was going to watch it again less than an hour in. Oh, the movie is long, more than two hours, and trust me, you do NOT want to leave for a pee break. Make sure you are suitably relieved before it starts.

Sigourney Weaver's character, of course, made me think of the last one that was directed by James Cameron, and her as well as Michelle Rodriguez', another tough, no-nonsense chick. It's the second Sam Worthington movie I watched, and like the first one, I absolutely loved it.

It's been a good year for movies for me, I think. Star Trek. Coraline. Terminator Salvation. 500 Days of Summer. Up. Saw VI. Watchmen. How does Avatar rank among them?

I told a number of people the instant I stepped out of the theatre that it was the movie of the year. By far. Some might attribute that to just post-film gushing and euphoria, and that may be so, but then, no other film made me feel this way either. It definitely sits among favorites like Lord of the Rings, Terminator 2, and Jurassic Park in almost every way.

I'd give it a minimum of 9/10, though the only reason it might lose out on a perfect score is that I would have liked if there was more detail for certain parts, but I'm a geek and it's not at all important. Oh, and also for the cheesy name of Unobtainium.

But wow.


Thursday, December 10, 2009

My December

This year has flown by. Flown by.

My ill-fated trip to Krabi, hospital visit and all, still plays clearly in my head as if it were yesterday. I can still remember the rock-climbing, snorkeling, being jolted from sleep by certain people in the early hours of the morning.

But that was almost a whole year ago. A lifetime ago, it seems.

Alot has happened since then. I don't need to spell out the most major things, but those who have been paying attention would agree (and have pointed out several times) that I'm a changed person. Some say it's an improvement, some say it's not, others think it's more of me being who I really am, whatever or whoever that is.

A whirlwind ten or eleven months has led to where I am today. Done with what may be my final exam ever in Singapore, but maybe not. It's a scary thought, especially considering the fact that for such a long time, things seemed really foggy at the best of times.

Imagine, if you will, you get a nice jigsaw puzzle. Only the picture on the box isn't something you'd expect like a scene of a sunset against snow-capped mountains or kittens in a basket or your favourite Disney characters assembled a-smiling. The picture on the box - the puzzle - is something you don't really recognize or are able to identify. Just a jumble of shapes and colours, patterns and motifs.

So you toil, painstakingly, over this seemingly impossible situation, and just when you think you got it figured out, you realize that you've been using the wrong sides of the pieces, and now you have to start over. What you thought fit before, may or may not anymore.

I wonder how things will be like in the near future, in many regards, with many people. Some of these thoughts have already been discussed with the relevant people, and some of them remain either oblivious or defiant about things.

Ah well.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

COM 443: Final Thoughts & Suggestions

It's been one hell of a semester, in many regards. This is going to be the last Advertising-Module-Related post, in all likelihood, so bear with me.

To recap, I've said this and this and this.

All in all, it's been a rough ride for everyone, and there is no better measure, in my opinion, of what we've been through than the fact that we have barely had five football gatherings since September. That's ridiculous, considering I've been playing religiously since January, and most of the others even earlier so.

I heard that before, the Advertising course that we've all slogged through involved impressing actual clients and/or representatives of ad agencies. That would actually be pretty cool, on many levels. It adds to the realism bit, as well as offering us students the opportunity to test our mettle and be judged by actual, real-world industry professionals. I'm not detracting from the current instructor's ability, but you see where I'm headed here.

Being an American course on Advertising, I can understand, expect and appreciate the emphasis on group project work. However, there are a few things to consider regarding the grouping that may be greatly beneficial to future victi - err, students of COM 443.

It's no secret that certain groups, though randomly assembled, are totally and wholly superior to their "competition". I'm not just talking book-smarts, of course. What happens if a group doesn't have anyone proficient in Photoshop or other graphic design software? What happens if the entire group, in a cruel twist of fate, has smart, creative people but all of whom suffer from the severe disability to speak to a crowd? What I'd suggest is at the start of the course, students "rank" themselves according to their ability and talents in different areas, some of which include:

Graphic Design and/or Drawing
Public Speaking
Creative Flair
Language
Video Editing
Audio Editing
Photography

A basic 1-10 on the above (which is far from exhaustive) would suffice, and then the instructor can ensure that there is some even distribution of talent, for lack of a better term.

Of course, the random nature of the (current) grouping procedure is designed to reflect the dynamic and unexpected nature of the working world that all of us should be entering soon. However, there are a couple of things that could potentially help all involved.

In a real working environment, of course, you'd expect people to switch jobs and agencies due to whatever reasons. Personal issues, financial gains, proximity to home, culture clashes, the list goes on. The same should be allowed in the classroom as well. But what, you say, what happens if people just decide to hang with their buddies? One might design a system whereby only straight 1-for-1 swaps are allowed, and only one person may swap per group per semester. That would work (somewhat), no? An example to highlight:

Group A consists of seven members, assigned somewhat randomly by the instructor. However, it's a busy, hectic, difficult semester, and while nearly everyone in Group A is able to meet every Tuesday and Thursday morning to get their work done, Person X cannot, because she has a class that the rest are not a part of. Weekends are worse, due to other commitments. However, Person X might be a better fit in Group B, who has someone willing to swap immediately.

Swap proceeds.

Group C, however, has the best friend of Person X, and now she wants to go to Group B too. However, due to the fact that Group B had previously decided to use their "Transfer Card", so to speak, no such move is possible.

Flawed, but oh well.

Finally, and most controversially, each group currently has to appoint a leader. An Agency Director. A CEO. A Boss. Give the boss some power. What power, you ask? The power to fire people. It's supposed to simulate a company, a real-world agency, isn't it? Let him/her fire people (one person?) should the need arise. The leader is elected anyway, so the group already has some regard for his/her authority.

What happens to the said fired person? If another group wants to take him/her up, by all means. If not... Drop the course? That would be harsh(er). Perhaps there could be supplemental, solo projects for everyone in class, for small extra credit. But these projects would become the bulk of the said person's workload, maybe with new dimensions and added difficulty, of course.

So what do you think of that, hmm? Full of holes, of course, but I think it could work.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

COM 443: Closing Reflections #3

I stand here before you today, as the last speaker for the last group, for what could very well be the last time many of us see each other in a classroom setting. It's been a hell of a ride. I'm not going to have a video with Black Eyed Peas in the background. I'm not going to open or close a heavy book. I'm not going to put away a script. I'm not going to sing and dance. I’m not going to recite poetry or have people run around and act out a scene.

I remember when I had to address a new batch of Student Council members as Editor on my first day of the job. I didn’t even have slides, so this is an improvement. But I’m not here as the Editor of The Buffalo Horn. I’m not here as the guy who does silly comics.

I’m not even exactly here as the head of Spatiality. I'm here as Naz, to tell you about Spatiality, though we each have our own stories to tell. Here is ours, in my words.

When the class list for our little foray into Advertising was revealed, I was quite impressed. Excited. Happy. I’ve worked with a number of people here, and have seen the way many others do their things too, and have always been suitably and quite awesomely impressed by the majority of the people gathered here. I can honestly say that there was almost no way I could have been displeased with the way the groups turned out.

That being said, though, I have to be frank with everyone and I vividly remember walking into class with Justin and Ken on Day 1 and thinking about working with them again, like we’ve done so a few times in and out of class before.

I look at Spatiality, and see six people I have had mixed and varied histories with.

Sean I’ve really only gotten to know this year, and with him I feel I share a close kinship, and he is probably the only other person other than Ken who can yell “Eh Malay” at any given time and place. He’s been the one who has provided direction when it has deserted me, and that’s happened a few times.

I’ve always looked at Suen Hui and wondered what goes on in that head of hers. Now I kinda know that she obsesses over Tetris, even before we got assigned Russia, and that hiding inside her is a writer of some imagination and talent, as well as someone with a rich and diverse collection of music and media. I won’t ask how she managed to… procure everything. But she’s always been the one more than willing to put things together, both graphically and musically.

Jamie. She lives near me, which is a definite plus point. She is a constant source of support and cheerfulness, able to tell you the most ridiculously funny stories with a straight face. Like how her friend killed a baby Koala. Seriously. And she is the person who can come up to me at 1AM and suddenly, out of the blue, talk about Left 4 Dead 2. Also being the one who enthusiastically volunteers to print things (at her workplace) helped immensely.

I’ve worked with Felicia several times, and no matter what, I’ll remember the cartwheeling dance she dared to do in front of the whole cohort way back in Sem 1. It’s on YouTube. It takes guts to do what she did, and to do what she does, dare to be different and to be proud of it. She’s also someone always able to think creatively, though sometimes her train of thought is nothing short of perverted.

I never knew Daphne existed before this class. Now, I can’t imagine how that was possible. One of the hardest workers I know, and someone always willing to pick up any slack from anyone, with no complaints, no hassle, no problem. She enjoyed Lesbian Vampire Killers, whatever that means.

Of all the people in Spatiality, and perhaps in this whole class, this whole school, our very own Miss SIM-UB is the one person that I’ve gone through the most with. Through thick and thin, comedy, tragedy, drama. When I saw that she drew number three too, I was… happy.

I was happy with my group. I still am, and am proud to be called their leader, and am only here now because of all their efforts.

But this is a class of more than seven. More than six groups and an instructor. I could never have enough time to go through what I think of everyone here, what I think of our shared journey. Someone talked about how they found that their experience was much more than a sum of the parts in their group, and no truer words have been spoken. Being last today means that there is little I can say that hasn’t already been eloquently said by everyone else in one way or another, but let me just say that through the blood, sweat and tears that we have ALL shed the past few months, we can all safely say “HOLY FRICKING CRAP IT’S OVER”.

But in all seriousness, creativity and execution aside, discounting photoshops, dismissing photography, not looking at editing, ignoring copywriting, we have all put in more than we ever thought possible into this venture.

For a long time, many of us worked towards being on the forefront of creativity, striving towards excellence and to be able to wield a spectrum of ideas. Trying to be original, unique, new, bold, captivating, interesting, the very best. Some tried pulling stunts and theatrics. But we all tried as hard as we could to be a step ahead and to produce something that we could be proud of, something to display and show off. Something to call our own. Something that would endure, something that we would create to last. In the end though, I think we can all, each and every one of us, we can safely say we have left big footprints in our collective memories, and that this class, this ordeal, this trial, this test, this challenge, this experience has left us changed. Through our blood, sweat, and even some tears, it’s a testament to what we’re all made of that despite all the adversity that every one of us has faced and been forced to deal with, to contend with and eventually overcome, we’re all still here.

Here in Singapore we don’t usually pay attention to the occasion two days away, or last month, if you’re Canadian. But we have a lot to be thankful for, I feel.

I thank my group members for being supportive, receptive, open-minded, determined and ultimately for being there.

I thank the other groups, the other members of this class for keeping the big picture in mind, even as the competition heated up. For working together and not against each other, and for the enjoyable semester and past couple of years.

I thank Professor Bob Armstrong, for all he has done for us and even to us, and despite the arguments and disagreements many of us have had either privately or out in the open, I feel I can safely say that we understand and appreciate your efforts into making this a learning experience and doing your best to make this torture fun. It is said you learn more through failure and critique than success and praise, and so perhaps many of us have found the past few months thoroughly enriching.

And with that. I thank you for your time, your patience, your praise, your criticisms, your belief, your faith, your being here.

Thank you.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Star-Crossed

I'm tired. Like, physically drained and exhausted. I had about nine hours of sleep last night, which was nice, but also nine hours more than what I had the night before.

Been an eventful few weeks, for better or for worse. Feels like a long time since I watched a movie, or had any time to just lounge around and now have deadlines on my mind. All drawing to a close, though.

The Leonids Meteor Shower on Tuesday night was quite something. Not as spectacular as I'd have hoped for, and the crowd and slight drizzle were dampeners but still. The company was awesome, and I've never been rooted to one spot for such a long time before. The Day After Tomorrow and Deep Impact were also alright and ironic at the same time, for obvious reasons. I wished they had played Armageddon though.

A few people have... complained... that some of more recent posts have been too long, so I'll end here. Another big week (and weekend) ahead.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Black & Gold

A long, long, while ago, I responded to a notice appealing to interested writers for the Editorial Department of the SIM-UB Student Council. Signing up for the Council was honestly just a matter of me wanting a fancy testimonial that might impress any future prospects, rather than a genuine case of wanting to help out. Horrible, I know.

Since then, though, I've watched student leaders come and go, and been a part of a few things in my earlier days within the group. Then, due to unforeseen circumstances, I was asked to step up myself and assume the mantle of a Director by the President herself.

Now, it wasn't the first time it happened, and I'm not saying that out of a sense of pride or bloated self-worth. I had originally turned down the previous requests due to the simple fact that I was and am aware of the way I tend to grow less interested and bothered by things as time goes on. It's happened before, and I was afraid it would happen again. And I hate disappointing anyone, or giving less than my best, which is why I steer clear of things I am not totally sure of.

However, things changed, and people around me did a good job of persuading me that it could work. And it did.

Removing some dead weight from the team, and bringing everyone together with a common goal in mind was relatively easy, since so many of the ones who stayed were genuinely interested. In fact, it has been a great and fantastic honor and pleasure working alongside each and every one of them.

Kenneth Chow, Bryan, Rolan, Deepan and Ida have been on board since Day 1, and each has contributed in his or her own unique way. Sonia did too, though she left prematurely on her own accord. Later, Jacinda, Syidah, Qing Ling, Andrea, Manik and Kenneth Lee signed up as well, and like the others, have proven great assets to the team. Right now we have four new girls as well - Evona, Wendy, Aqidah, and Laila - who each look more than able to bring The Buffalo Horn to the next level.

The Editorial Team aside, it has been a wonderful experience working with many others as well. The other Directors have made life in SIM-UB vibrant and interesting, offering their expertise and unique advice as and when needed. The Vice-President has also been a source of support and amusement, especially when she isn't parking my car or stomping on my foot. And last, but certainly not in the least, Madame President is probably the single reason I agreed to take up the responsibility as Editor. As I've said before, and will proudly say again, I would not have done so under anyone else.

Of course, there have been disagreements in the past, which is to be expected. The Directors clash on things such as planning and execution of events and occasions. I still tangle with my lady boss over things she doesn't agree with (like my wanting to name the newsletter The Bull Sheet), but all in all it's a cohesive and functioning unit which has seen student life in SIM-UB flourish in many ways.

There are, however, exceptions.

I hate to critique any individual person on-line, but some things have gone on for long enough. Most of you also know that I rarely use names, and that won't change here (though the string of names earlier is different). For a long time, I had to deal with a certain individual who seemed intent on stirring controversy and purposefully brewing trouble and discontent among students in the more senior batches. The said individual is long-gone, and all the better, to many of us, though it seems that another has (not so) quietly emerged.

Like I said earlier, I (like several others) had originally joined the Student Council for material gains, for lack of a better word. But working with those I have named, however, and seeing the fruits of our labor come to actualization, I'll be damned if I let someone - anyone - defame or besmirch the Black and Gold shirts that so many have worked to earn.

What really irks me is that some people are so comfortable in sowing strife within an organization they are actually a part of, and I am left befuddled and lost for words as to why this is so. If you're so unhappy, so scornful, so pitifully angsty, you are free to leave. The option has been presented to you for ages, and it has always been the case. For any of us. And if it were up to me, I would have hauled your little snotty mouth out the door a long time ago.

This isn't the best way of addressing the issue of course. And there's a good chance that many of those involved in one way or another will never read or see or know this one little (?) note. But writing has always been a form of catharsis for me and many others, though I'm not going to let this die just with a few typed paragraphs. Some have called for stern action, others suggest letting it slide.

I'm NOT going to stand around and let a childish twit heckle and bitch about something I consider a part of me. Something I have personally put a large part of myself into (hold the jokes), and something I am genuinely proud to be a part of. I take it as a personal insult to me, my team, and every other person who has ever and will ever don the colors of the SIM-UB Student Council.

There we go.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Coralineeeeeee (Spoiler-free)

I've always wanted to do something for Halloween. People in school know that, and I continually remind them in the couple of months leading up to Halloween that I'd like everyone to dress up and come to class in costumes and the like. Clubbing on Halloween isn't my idea of a great time though, not with ridiculously long queues everywhere. This year though, I did do something slightly Halloween-ish, and I'll say that it was quite something.

I've always been a fan of Neil Gaiman. I love Sandman, read Neverwhere years ago, and also have gobbled up some of his other work with people like Terry Pratchet (Good Omens). Never been disappointed. That being said, though, I've never actually read Coraline before hearing about it being adapted to the animated film playing now.

That being said, I went into the film with very high expectations for the movie, but told myself I wold be disappointed regardless. Kinda like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. However, I was very pleasantly surprised with the experience, and I can't really find anything wrong with it. Let's go through the movie step by step. Spoiler free, of course.

Before the movie began, a trailer for Avatar played. No, not the airbender, but something else from James Cameron. Looks really good, actually. But let's not get too sidetracked. But it was a good omen, and I do love movie trailers so.

As animated films go, this one didn't take my breath away like 9 did, though it's visually very pretty in its own unique way. Decidedly darker (even at its brightest) than, say, Up, every little thing sets the tone for a story that isn't exactly a children's tale. I actually didn't realise that Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher voiced the characters, which was a plus point. Not that I have anything against either of them (I am still a sucker for old school Lois & Clark reruns), but I always like to be surprised at cast members who aren't hyped.

Voice-wise, everything fits. Dakota Fanning does brilliantly as a complicated kid looking for something to spice up her life, bored to death by inattentive parents. Teri Hatcher's does great in her role(s) as well, and so does everyone else. Especially the cat. The music doesn't jump out at you like Up either, but is also generally nice, though melancholy, which is to be expected.

As far as the story goes, you have to expect a world vibrant and stunning when dealing with something coming out of Neil Gaiman's mind. Coraline delivers. Like a modern-day Alice in Wonderland (which I am also looking forward to), the Other World blows the mind in more ways than one. It reminds me of London Below from Neverwhere, and makes me wonder how in the hell someone can think up so many different things. The characters are all great and funny in their own unique way, and the caricature-like manner in which some are drawn adds to the effect.

The plot is surprisingly strong. Again, it's to be expected (at least I expected it) from something from Neil Gaiman, but we've all been disappointed before. Like I said earlier though, it isn't a children's tale, strictly speaking, and is definitely creepy and freaky in many ways. I wouldn't call it scary, but there are things which leave you haunted for a bit, and themes that aren't all rosy. It isn't a scary movie either, of course, but it's definitely something that can be enjoyed by many.

In most of my movie reviews I spend some time dissecting what went wrong in the one or two (or more) things that I have problems with in the given movie. It's hard to think of any here though, simply because everything seems to fit seamlessly. It's not too short or too long, songs are entertaining, the cat is awesome, there are no plot holes I can immediately pick out, and the 3D experience of Coraline is better than the one I had with Up, which was mildly disappointing. Here, many things stand out and leap into your lap, enhancing the whole experience.

All in all, I left the theatre thoroughly impressed and satisfied. I went in hoping for the best and expecting something sub-par, but was treated to a hundred minutes of fun, fright and fantasy. If you're contemplating watching Coraline, I would say it's your best bet looking at what else is showing right about now, other than The Hurt Locker. Definitely better than Darah or Lesbian Vampire Killers, at least.

Monday, October 26, 2009

COM 443: Another Reflection #2

Someone working in the advertising industry told me recently of her frustration that the vast majority of creative, innovative, inventive advertisements are rejected for the stale and mundane stuff most of us are subjected to when we turn on the TV or radio. I find that both disturbing and very disappointing.

But at the same time, expected.

Advertising is, if nothing else, highly subjective and above all else a business. That's one of the first things we learn about it, in the various courses and classes we've taken. But that's exactly what makes it such a difficult thing for students like me to tackle many a time.

Take, for example, the "ASIA" campaign that AIA has been plastering all over signboards, bus stops and print media. I, for one, got it right away but thought it stupid anyway. Others took much longer to see it, though that might just mean that they are less attuned to the ridiculous. And then it wins an award. Wow.

On the other hand, there are ads that many around me like for whatever reason, and these are the ads that are then said to be ineffectual, poor, horrible. What are we to make of this confusing trend? When "research" leads you astray, are you supposed to start from scratch? And just hope?

Of course, there is much, much more to this that I - that many of us - haven't fully grasped yet and I realize that there is every possibility that there's something glaringly obvious that I'm overlooking to make things less frustrating. In the end, though, the more I try and immerse myself into the world of advertising, the more jaded and disillusioned I become.

The guest speaker from Ogilvy was entertaining enough, though what he had to say wasn't exactly enlightening as it was mood-lightening. Of course, I've had the lovely benefit of often speaking to someone currently working at Ogilvy, so that plays a part. I told that person as well, as I alluded to in my earlier entry, of my supposed interest in the field. And of how it has waned.

What now, then? Ultimately there is still work to be done, and conceivably it might galvanize me to rekindle that spark that once was there. Or not.

It's all subjective.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Kites

I've never, for the life of me, been able to keep a kite airborne for longer than the split second it takes for gravity to reintroduce it to the ground. It's yet another entry in my long list of failures, though today I realized that I can draw parallels to the damn thing.

People close to me may know about certain happenings and occurrences going on now, many of which aren't exactly satisfactory to me. These people (and you readers) also know that I rarely go into graphic detail about anything when I write here, so forget any scandalous statements of glorious gossip. I'll just say that I hate being strung around and along, and going from sky-high to having a close-up chat with the dirt from one second to the next. I don't want to be a damn toy.

The fact that Man Utd failed to win also compounds the complications that come with a cellphone that is intent on self-termination, while classes and school which should be fun and enjoyable seem colorless and dull, dreary and repetitive, just shit in general. Just end, already.

Then there's dealing with the incessant pestering and pandering that certain lurking individuals revel in, while other irrational behavior that I conduct and observe remain just that, irrational.

Urgh.

Monday, September 28, 2009

COM 443: A Reflection #1

Professor Bob Armstrong, currently lecturing at SIM-UB, has requested that each of his students detail their experiences in his classes in an online fashion via a simple blog, and while some other have decided to set up entirely new ones for this purpose, the combination of me being too lazy and feeling quite satisfied with this current one led to me just sending him this here link.

Lengthy random introductory sentence aside, let's take a look at what we have.

I've made no secret of the fact that, for a long time, I've looked at the advertising industry with a combination of awe and desire. Ever since I learnt that a relative of mine had something to do with Jessica Alba being in a Singaporean commercial, that feeling has only escalated. This semester, though the advertising module that so many of us gleefully signed up for has been somewhat of a reality check.

Most of us are familiar with the instructor, jolly old Professor Armstrong, prone to the odd and erratic bout of singing and appreciative of a good Hollywood shootout. His somewhat ruthless and hectic schedule isn't a surprise to many of us either, though even the most experienced of us silly students would be hard-pressed to honestly say that they were well and truly prepared for this experience.

I'm not saying it's the most hellish course we've ever had to misfortune of sitting through (especially not after The Drooler and others...), but it's no walk in the park either. The fact that many of us have found ourselves in school early and/or late everyday finishing up projects and assignments, stressing over everything from HTML to tie colors, timing speeches to the second and cramming for 7.25% of the overall grade just adds to the general feeling of what exactly one would be up against in the industry.

Of course, I'm no expert at that, and for all I know our dear Professor could just be a sadistic and malicious prankster, aiming to give us early coronaries. But then my chats with my mystery friend from Ogilvy seems to confirm his assessment of the harsh and hard world of advertising.

One of the positives I can take away from the course so far, though, is the fact that the luck of the draw has been good for me. With the majority of the grade resting on a group performance, graded and assessed throughout the semester, the good Professor saw it fit to randomly group the class into teams of six to seven individuals. While it's fair and accurate to say that I'm not in my preferred combination and permutation of class-mates right now, I'm actually very pleased with the experience thus far. Good blend of talents and personalities, and it's given me the chance to grow closer to some people I wasn't as close to prior to the challenge.

Doesn't hurt, of course, that two of the top three from the recent SIM-UB Dinner & Dance Best Dressed competition are in there with me!

But that's it for now, got the aforementioned exam to cram for, when I get around to it.

Flavor of the Week

Lot has happened in the past seven days.

A week ago, Hari Raya came and went without incident, though the night of the first day was interesting, to say the least. The next few days saw hectic happenings in school and long nights outside. Dark rings and flu ensued, and I woke up at 2pm today, a feat only accomplished by a phone call that prevented me from sleeping through my Sunday.

But it's been a week to remember, for good and for bad, though really my only regret is how I didn't end it as well as I should have.

Question myself alot recently, wondering why I made some decisions, why some things happened, continue to happen. If others will or should.

Oh well.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Eventful

Past week or so has been interesting, to say the least. Alot of good and bad and everything in between, with surprising developments and frustrating obstructions. Decisions to make, things to turn away from, matters to settle too in the days to come. And I find myself spectacularly unmotivated.

I haven't watched Moon, probably won't have the time or company to. Hari Raya rounds are repetitively dull and inane. Certain people are getting increasingly difficult to tolerate. It's the little things that irritate me, and not a little.

Some people envy my position, some people don't know about it. I just want to sleep.

Spent a long time today talking to someone I've always thought of as a friend but who I never really bothered to really talk to prior to today, and I don't know why. Not why I talked to this person, but why I didn't before. Makes one think of what's been missed.

But also what was discussed, revealed, learnt, shared. Of how old, old, friends drift away and how everything seems infantile sometimes when you realize you're clutching at something you're not even sure is all there.

Too many things to do, too little drive to do it.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Something More

Sometimes it's the little things, the forgotten things, the things that have always been there but have never been paid attention to that suddenly jump out at you, painted in moonlight and keeping you up.

It's new, interesting, fun.

Play it by ear.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Clubbed to Death

Naz doesn't club. Naught, nein, nary.

Nope.

Today though, I said that I'd step into the club if everyone (and there were a shitload of people) did the same, and I didn't have to pay. Of course, as fate would have it, someone knew someone and I got that free pass that saw me stumble into a mostly-empty place which might as well have been an alien planet to me.

I was with friends, though, who had made a Pact not to indulge in any alcoholic behavior (well, most of them, at least), and who were the types who would keep promises made (again, most of them, at least).

We were joined by some newer friends, mostly excited, excitable younglings who seemed eager to raise the toxicity of their bloodstream. Eventually, one of them went past the point of no return and got herself quite sloshed. In record time, too.

A long time ago, I wrote something about girls, clubs, drinking, and how the three don't make for a very good combination, all things considered. That upset some people enough for me to take it down, not an everyday event, but maybe I'll revive it soon.

Probably the thing that annoys me the most, irritates me to no end, physically disgusts me is the guy that lurks around these excited girls waiting for one of them to get so hammered she is inebriated enough to not realize exactly who is around her at all times, but still in possession of the required mental capacity to stand and continue dancing.

This is when the afore-mentioned lurker swoops in for the save, chivalrously extending his trembling hands to the little girl's body whenever she looks like she is about to lose her footing. Or even when she isn't.

Sure, this happens all the time, you cry. Clubs are like that. Takes two hands to clap.

Doesn't change the fact that I have lost all respect for some people now, and those of you who have been paying attention know what that entails.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

An Epiphany

Taking the train today, I was struck by a startling realization of what is perhaps the single most beneficial thing that driving offers over taking advantage of the public transport services in Singapore. No, it isn't avoiding the rush and crush of the busy crowd during peak periods. No, it isn't having to continually top up that little card as fares rise every few months. It isn't even being able to do without rude strangers and smelly mystery-men.

Instead, what I found, much to my chagrin, was that while on the train or bus, one will invariably stumble upon a girl/woman/thing with a false sense of hotness.

I'm not even talking about the standard bimbotic, prototypical walking make-up dispensers that parade themselves around random corridors like Singapore's Next (only?) Top Model. I'm referring to the females (and that's a stretch) who seem to consider themselves sex bombs, when they look more like they've been hit by a bomb.

Today was a prime example.

Strolling into the insanely empty train cabin, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye that must have blinded folks halfway to Malaysia. A large blob of colour, in skin tight jeans that did everything to highlight the rotundness of their owner's rear, standing with an expression that would have put royalty to shame. And this is from me, who has been told multiple times that I walk with a swagger.

If whales wore denim and excessive mascara, I would have thought one had beached in Kembangan, but oh no, the worst was still to come.

Enduring the sight all the way to where I eventually alighted, I was in for a shock. As if it wasn't bad enough trying to stare fixedly at a point that left her/it out of my peripheral vision (i.e. the floor), when I staggered out of those whooshing sliding doors that irritate me so, I was horrified to find that she was somehow in front of me and walking in the same direction!

Look down, look down, I told myself, and the advice seemed sensible enough, until I met with the contraption that left me wanting to gouge my eyes out with a belt buckle.

Escalator.

Turns out, Little Miss Whale was wearing a neon pink THONG.

How ludicrously and shockingly disgusting, yet expected, from someone whose folds could hide their spare change and whose foundation could probably shield them from nuclear fallout. As I contemplated what would happen if she fell backwards onto me (I have never done up a will, you see), the escalator reached its summit and the little pink strap was blissfully hidden from view again.

Come to think of it right now, I wonder how the thong was even visible. Wouldn't it have sunk into one of the... creases?

I went on with my day, which included watching District 9 (which is awesome) and sitting around with friends who played some acoustic music (also awesome), and all was forgotten.

Until I was on the ride home and saw a Chinese Mat.

Oh my.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Falling

Tired, that's what's been running through my mind the past 48 hours or so, since Tuesday. A disgustingly long session of Winning Eleven was fun, but wasn't ideal in preparing for an overnight stint bordered by emotional farewells.

Sure, there were tears. Sure, it was sad. No real unexpected drama though, even if some had expected or encouraged it.

Couple of weeks to school, another few months which will be interesting, to say the least, with so many important people gone.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Uplifting!

I never liked any of the Ice Age or Shrek movies after the first one. I thought Finding Nemo was distinctly average, and that the slew of other modern animated films (other than Toy Story and Monsters Inc) were passable, at best.

I just got back from Up, however, and wow.

Someone I watched it with said she cried within the first ten minutes, and while I didn't need a Kleenex, I have to agree that there are portions of the film which are both charming and heartwrenching at the same time. It isn't so much an emotional roller-coaster as it is a gentle stroll around the range of feelings what an amazing film ought to evoke.

The comedy is often top-notch too, far funnier than the majority of traditional films released in recent memory. The characters are very Pixarish, and all of them grow on you quickly and you begin to love them after their first few scenes.

Story-wise, it's a far-fetched, fantastic tale of a man's quest to keep a promise made to a loved one, and how he overcomes the various random obstacles placed before him. The plot flows smoothly, allowing each character to be introduced and developed in every way.

The soundtrack lends a great deal to the generally light-hearted feel of the movie, and it reminds me, strikingly, of the first two Terminator movies and how there really is only one actual "song", and the key and tempo of it greatly alters its mood and effect, to a great extent. The music here does a fantastic job in leading the audience down that path from delight to despair to desperation to depression to delirium. Amazing stuff.

Of course, the cynic in me questions some of the logic in the film, like how certain devices could ever function and the sheer physics of a helium-powered building making its way across continents. I'll suspend such critique, however, not because it's "just a cartoon", but because it's just so bloody good.

I caught Up in all its 3D glory, and I have to say, though, that's really the only negative thing I have to take away from the movie. The effect of it being in 3D wasn't really fantastic, and some people around me took off the cumbersome goggles (and goggles are a prominent part of the movie, on and off screen) and simply watched it as it is. Sure, the first time you see the little kid plodding across the street, you are wowed by how it all looks, but then the rest of the movie doesn't seem to make use of the effect too greatly.

All in all, I highly recommend Up to anyone for any occasion. Taking someone out on a first date, another date, a random movie outing with friends or family, alone or in a crowd, I can almost guarantee you'll enjoy it.

Two tips, though. Tissues if you feel you might need it, and pass on the 3D option if you're unsure.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Public Relationships

I've always liked the name Jenny. Really, truly. But the past six weeks or so has befouled the name to such an extent that it will take a really dramatic shift for me to look at the name again with any positivity.

As some may reember, I tend to critique certain educators that I have been unfortunate enough to suffer through rather harshly. There was the inspiration behind Comic Relief, the one who was petitioned against, a cross-eyed Enron lawyer, the drooling mother of Bowser and a few others. Add Jenny to the list.

Sure, she's all smiles and yes, I understand that English may not be her native tongue but -

Wait. Wait just one minute.

Is that fricking Mandarin I see on my frickin slides that I am studying for my exam in little over twelve hours? I was unaware that a course in Public Relations, hosted by an American University in Singapore, would have course material in a language that the students hardly understand! This is ridiculous.

It's bad enough that she takes ages to barrel her way through a single chapter - hindered, no doubt, by her insistence on breaking into Chinese narratives as and when she feels like it - and that her sense of logic is questionable, at best when dealing with matters of her own design, but now I am staring at "notes" which I can't understand even if I wanted to?

Here's the typical exerpt from one of her classes:

"So yesh, de Pee-Are orgazashens speng millings of doh lahs oh nowah public meedya and evry day we see and a here messages becausah you canna pay for Pee Are only you can pray for Pee Are ah ha ha ha. Wo ching chiau Hu way ren du Taiwan de Hong Kong pu may lau ren ta gu xin Democratic Model han shong lay."

And she moves on. I usually step out after the first line in a dialect I don't understand.

How the fuck does Democratic model fit in anywhere?

I've had to deal with this for over a month now, and there really has been little to raise my spirits during this period, though I do admit that the course has brought me closer to a few people I barely spoke to before.

One of the few things that had got me even a little smiley was someone Ive been talking to alot lately, but not recently. Yeah. Kinda weird to be in this situation, realy, and to be honest I have no idea what's going on. A lost, noobish, amateur.

Realised how long it's been since I had a proper phone conversation that didn't end in frustration, though it looks like that end is on the cards again. Ah well, I guess I was right. Everyone got excited over nothing.

Now, I just need to learn Mandarin overnight.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Controlled Alternative Delete

It's been a long while since I put away the things, small and large that used to remind me of times gone by. But lately I've come to realise that everytime I look around me, I still notice that they're not there, and it makes no difference whatsoever. And today I tossed away one of the first and oldest of the things, though admittedly it is in a state befitting a test sample in some biochemical weapon facility.

Looking through my battered laptop, I realised today that I still have a (digital) ton of such things, so I went about deleting them. Was alot harder than I expected, to be honest. Ever watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Probably my second favorite Jim Carrey movie ever (Truman Show is #1). It was like that, midway through I started to doubt myself, if I really wanted them gone. But by then I had gone too far and it was all I could do to just finish up.

I did find a few things which brought a small smile to me and at least one other though.

I need to study, but I'm not. Not nearly.

Backup Friends and More

I had a really nice and long conversation with someone I've never talked to for that long today. Actually not the first time in recent memory that's happened, and for that I'm quite thankful.

She did, however, recount to me the story of how one of her friends told her off for treating her like a "backup", and that coupled with an earlier question and joking accusation got me thinking.

In a few weeks, many people close and dear to me will be jetting off, and there's a chance I won't see some of them, at elast, for maybe six months. Yes, yes, Skype and the like exist, but you all know it's different. I know it's different. Will everything be different?

The person asked me how and why I (relatively) recently became to chummy with certain people who've been around alot longer than we've been buddies, and I of course gave the obvious answer, but then nothing is really ever that obvious and simple, is it?

I don't quite know.

Then there's the matter of the little thing that's got everyone around me excited, though I bet they're overreacting, and that the little plans and stuff won't come to fruition.

Pessimistic? Maybe. I try to think it's being realistic. And not idealistic. I have no idea what I'm doing most the time. Too little, too much?

Long ride home today, but had good company for the first part, where I learnt what a small world we live in.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Lady & The Tramp

I realise I've never watched the entire show, actually. Maybe that will change soon? Maybe. Exams, meh.