Soldiering On

The time spent in National Service will always be memorable to almost any Singaporean in his twenties or more. BMT, POP, SOC, IPPT, LRI, ORD, and a whole plethora of other acronyms may evoke memories sweet and sour, or both. Be it two and a half years, an even couple of years, 18 months, or some other weird duration (2 years and 3 months for me), it is, for whatever reason, a big part of growing up.

Most of my memories regarding NS were forged in a yellowed office lined with metal cabinets. There, I used a stapler gun for the first time, learnt how to deal with people either too stupid or too difficult to deal with, and twice facepalmed when the same Sergeant got busted for jacking off to pixellated images of barely-skimpy girls. Hard to forget.

Especially hard to forget when a lot of us are joyously plucked from our daily civilian lives and thrust back into the world we thought we had left behind.

In a few days I'll be trudging my way, duffel bag and all, past a set of bored-looking guards watching the clock more than the ins and outs, alongside a horde of other similarly-enthused individuals. Again.

Before I go further, I will state, for the record, that I think that NS is a good idea, a good thing. More than the facade of defending a nation, it teaches (forces?) the youths to gain a measure of independence, exposes them to new and diverse personalities and experiences, and ensures that they can use a broom or mop or Microsoft Excel to some degree of competency.

What I don't agree with, what I have always (and will always) argued against is the dreaded Reservist.

One or two weeks of little else but Monopoly Deal and waiting about to be called from our dilapidated bunks to assemble for meals can drive even the sanest of people up the wall, and in truth, while it's a damn fine card game, there are only so many rounds you can play with no stakes before it gets dull.

But that's the truth of the majority of what goes on in Reservist camps, at least for the folk who haven't been designated Combat Fit.

Again, I'll make a mention of those that are, and how they of course have their own regimen of fantastic fun oiling and cleaning and oiling and firing and oiling and cleaning various firearms. Or the array of officers who themselves sometimes know little of what's going on, and find themselves sat down in a chilly meeting room listening to career men spouting about drop zones and casualty evacuations.

But for many people, the option is clear. Sleep, or stare at a wall.

The first time I tried to get out of this, I had to the Commanding Officer of the unit. Then, I had just started work as a Freelancer at ESPN Star Sports during the 2010 World Cup (also known as the 2010 Vuvuzela Festival), and was looking to make a good impression to have them take me on permanently. I had thought that such an important aspect in the life of a Singaporean would be seen as such. Important. You heard the doom and gloom about the crashing economy and the rising inflation and the astronomical cost of living even before million-dollar flats, and this was important.

Not to the army, not to the SAF, oh no.

"You say you want to defer because you just started a new job. Don't you know that half of the unit is still unemployed?"

I was flabbergasted. What the hell kind of reasoning is that? Alright, so a lot of folks don't have a job. I'm sorry to hear that but that has no bearing on my job. I'm not POTUS. As I looked blankly at the man across the table, I honestly wondered if he was being serious, and if that was his way of convincing me that potentially not being hired was a good thing. I've been trying to make sense of the line for two years and the more I think about it the more I think it's little more than idiocy.

Since then, of course, I've secured a job I've enjoyed immensely, and it's something I think I'm pretty good at doing. Those who know anything about it know, though, that it isn't an easy one, not just a bunch of guys sitting around watching Mark Clattenburg and Tweeting about it. There's a lot of work done by too few people every day to get material onto television for the region to watch. Or for the sponsors to rate.

I'm not the only one in the position of course, not hardly. Many others are as important, probably more important, in the smooth running of their own jobs and their absence adversely affects others in various ways. There are many, many, others like that.

Surprisingly though, at least to those I've spoken to, there are also many, many others who are not called up at all.

You would think that with just about the entire adult male population already gone through NS, that everyone should, at some point or other, go through the rite of Reservist. You'd be wrong. It isn't everyone; there is a roster selected from the list of people in the unit. How the list is populated is open for debate, with the popular argument accusing that a single scrawny clerk had put it together while everyone else was still botak as well.

This is quite bullshit.

How is it that some people are called back, year after year, often times more than once a year, and others are never touched or bothered or prodded at all? These aren't even those who have gone overseas for study or for work, but are the same ones who will gleefully share pictures of themselves gallivanting with wenches in a club while everyone else is getting ready for Round 73 of Monopoly Deal.

Some have said that it's because those people weren't dependable, or didn't do a good job while in NS, and so the unit only calls back the men they can rely on. While this is some sort of compliment, it poses another question then.

Why the hell would you bother to perform at all in NS, if that meant you'd be chaining yourself to the SAF machine for the considerable future?

I can say I was a good soldier. I actually received the Good Soldier Award twice, though it was, admittedly, a token gesture more than anything. But, like the others who are even now packing their duffel bags, I did my job, I did what I was asked. When I could, I did a little more to make things easier and better for the commanders around me. I filled the Sergeant Major's little flask with warm water everyday, I was never late in the mornings for two years, I never lost a key or misplaced a document, I didn't mind having to buy pork buns for the busy Captain during the fasting month. We were good soldiers.

And now we are being punished for it.

There's nothing to be done, really, except accept it, resigned and annoyed as I am now. I won't go so far as to declare that if and when I have children, I will raise them away from this atrocity, and I won't blatantly suggest and advise to my younger relatives to just slack off when their time comes, but I am honestly beyond irked at this point.

Monday Morning Blues it is, then.

Murphy's Day

It's been a long time since I posted anything that wasn't football-related, but it's been a rather eventful day, and one that deserves a mention, immortalized in the glorious web of information.

The taste of bile is never a good thing, and having that as your waking sensation is even worse. After retching in the bathroom for a few minutes - no, I'm not pregnant - and wondering how the hell that happened, I found myself welded to the toilet as well. Bad news on both ends then. Sister theorizes that two weeks of pasta and pizza means that my body is rejecting curry.


The next few hours were spent shuttling back and forth from computer desk to bathroom, finding an equilibrium where I could properly diagnose my laptop's newfound habit of freezing during SWTOR, GW2, TF2, and even other games which aren't abbreviated. Friendly advice has offered such remedies as compressed air, replacing burnt cards, and the abolishing of gaming altogether as possibilities to alleviate this troublesome syndrome, but each has either been totally and utterly proven invalid or rejected outright.

Eventually meeting the Missus, after trawling through a rather random mid-afternoon highway jam, our dynamic duo embarked on a journey to fix her laptop, and I was given the quest to escort the lady to Bukit Timah Plaza, where the service centre was apparently located on the fifth floor.

There is no fifth floor in Bukit Timah Plaza.

One parking fee later, we were in Bukit Timah Shopping Centre, finally locating the elusive technicians. A hard reformat had to be done, which they said would take half an hour. Fair enough. So we went to look for the SAMURAI FRIES that we didn't get before going to Italy.

These Samurai Fries were as Samurai as Tom Cruise.

Cheese shaker fries are not Samurai Fries, McDonalds. After two weeks in a land where an order of large fries can amount to almost three Euros, we came back hoping to reintroduce ourselves to the goodness of the promised reward.

How we felt cheated.

But the half hour was up, in any case, and so we strolled back to the Lenovo service centre.

Well, "stroll" is misleading since we took the escalators, but therein in itself lies the next pitfall in this hero's journey.

Most of the 7 semi-regular readers of this space have read or heard of the reports about people in those God-awful Crocs having toes shorn off after their "shoes" have been caught in escalators (a little caveat, Crocs are not shoes. They are abominations). The horror stories of severed appendages flashed through my little mind as I realized what had happened, with my relatively new and ultra-fashionable Quicksilver slipper (the right one, if you're pulling a Phoebe) caught catastrophically in the end of the escalator, or as I labelled it at that moment, the Moving Metal Mauling Monster Maniac.

But all it did was swallow my slipper.

I was left flabbergasted and half-barefooted. The slipper was gone. Dreadfully and utterly and totally.

I still have all my toes (though there's a spot that's now blistered somewhat), but what the hell.

So I hopped/limped (while she laughed) back to the car, and we decided to travel to a friend's place for some solace and serenity after an already annoying day. A calm, pleasant drive accompanied by the soothing sounds of Kiss 92FM shamelessly plugging the products of one of their former employees (by the way, watch The Monday Night Verdict and World of Football on ESPN, Mondays and Wednesdays). A relaxing drive.

Of course that didn't happen.

Being rear-ended is, unfortunately, something I've experienced before, and it's not something you can ever get used to unless you are perhaps addicted to bumper cars. The fact that I had been stationary for a few seconds (and not travelling at high speed prior to that) made it worse. The scene about ten metres back, where another three cars had decided to form a vehicular conga line didn't improve things either.

As the obligatory details and photographs were being exchanged, a curious truck driver in the other lane seemed to be enthralled by the spectacle of the Automobile Centipede smashed into another stationary lorry, innocently waiting in line to turn off the highway. This, of course, led to a Volvo following closely behind the kaypoh truck to join in the festivities, and the menage a trois quickly became a foursome when the last one compacted the Volvo, blowing all his windows out.

The driver of the Volvo seemed pretty upset, storming out of what was now effectively a Mini to berate the others. How the airbag didn't deploy astounds and frightens me.

Finished with exchanging details, we drove off before more inducing more carnage.

The time spent at the friend's place was rather nice, though it did confirm my suspicions that my dear laptop was well and truly fu - err, spoilt, since the compressed air did little to help matters despite uncovering a hidden dust bunny.

But leaving from her place to look for dinner was a trial in itself, with every highway crammed with commuters. Not an entirely foreign concept once you've lived here for a while, but still. Plodding along in the dented Mazda, the abdominal adventures from the morning came back for an encore, miles from a known and available public restroom.

"This has been a shitty day," she said.

Har har.

Mercifully, I had the fortitude to hang on until we managed to find a suitable place, and boy was I relieved.

I half-expected to be locked out of the house, or to trip and fall somewhere, or to be the target of a similarly diarrhetic bird as I walked home, but I managed to escape incident.

For now.

Anfield Assessment: Early Days

I have a special relationship with Liverpool, one that has ebbed and flowed throughout the various stages of my life. My father, many of my best friends, my close colleagues at work all look to Anfield are all ardent Liverpool fans, and being a Man Utd supporter myself, I will admit to having enjoyed more than my fair share of jibes at their recent performances.

The second coming of King Kenny was widely heralded and applauded when the appointment was made, and even after losing his first game back (against Man Utd) optimism was high, especially after he had replaced the much-derided, face-rubbing, owl-like Roy Hodgson (who is now the England manager...). In hindsight, he enjoyed a poorer record than the much-maligned Andre Villas-Boas, and was belatedly ushered out the door.

And Brendan Rodgers was welcomed into the hallowed halls of the Merseyside club after successfully introducing his Swansalona side to the Barclays Premier League, and the world. Much has been made of his footballing philosophy and all he has achieved at the Liberty Stadium (I wrote about it as well) with it being labelled everything from magnificent to mundane.

Rodgers' appointment was immediately met with speculation that he'd weed out those who didn't fit "his style" of play, with most understanding that it was a polite way to say Liverpool now had another excuse to offload Andy Carroll. Former club Newcastle came calling, and there was a laughable rumor that AC Milan were in for him, but he eventually ended up at West Ham, reunited with Kevin Nolan. Standing ovation on his debut for the Hammers, in case you didn't hear.

And that highlights several problems with Liverpool.

Having allowed Craig Bellamy, Maxi Rodiguez, and Dirk Kuyt to leave and loaned out Andy Carroll, Rodgers now only has Luis Suarez and Fabio Borini as recognized strikers - and at this time neither are really strikers per se. A great Tweet from Aayush Sharma on ESSAFC summed it up perfectly, that Luis Suarez is a forward and not a striker.

But is he?

Prior to the World Cup in South Africa, he enjoyed an amazing run of goalscoring with Ajax and Uruguay, a record which cannot be put down to the perceived lack of quality in the Eredivisie when you take a look at the kind of goals he used to score. Now, he has among the worst conversion chances in the whole of the Premier League. Fabio Borini, once of Chelsea, was part of Italy's European Championship squad, but then Giuseppe Rossi was injured, and the preferred partnership was the volatile Mario Balotelli and a man only just recovered from a stroke, Antonio Cassano. That sums it up, really.

So was Borini's recruitment simply a matter of Rodgers looking for familiarity? He also signed Joe Allen, someone essential to Swansea's success last season. Allen already has something like an above 90% pass completion so far for Liverpool, and so he does seem to fit the system Rodgers wants to impose, though that is to be expected. Rodgers himself made no secret of wanting to bring his own style to Liverpool, and here we are at the point from before.

Is Liverpool's current run (their worst start in 50 years?) and barren run of goalscoring down to just the wrong style implemented by the manager?

Carroll never enjoyed the kind of service at Anfield that he was provided at St James' Park, where his height and aerial ability was used to great effect. Stewart Downing, bought with the Moneyball philosophy of chance creation, was deployed on the right as an inverted winger and hardly managed a decent cross to Carroll the entire season. One afternoon at Upton Park reminded everyone just how useful a player he is, though some are still adamant that Rodgers doesn't need him, and didn't need the energetic Bellamy, industrious Kuyt, or the inconsistent Maxi.

But he does need Joe Allen and Nuri Sahin, by his own admission.

In theory, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it seems a perfect fit - the former Bundesliga Player of the Year, the young midfielder that created more chances than anyone (104) in 2010-11 where his side stormed to a league title.

Except what happens to Steven Gerrard?

Allen, Sahin and Gerrard started for Liverpool in a three-man midfield against Arsenal, who themselves had Diaby, Arteta and Carzola, all decent ball-players in their own right. The problem with Liverpool today is an extension of what has been plaguing them for years now, though; To implement Rodgers' interpretation of Tiki-Taka, you need a side of good passers with incredible tactical discipline. The issue here, is that the Kop legend Stevie G has neither.

The Steven Gerrard we see today is not the one that dragged his side to qualify for the Champions League knockout stage from the brink of elimination. He is not the one who dovetailed so magnificently with Fernando Torres to wreak havoc on anyone and everyone. He is not the man who single-handedly won the FA Cup in 2006. He is not anymore the player who inspired a side to come back from three goals down against an AC Milan side that lined up with Maldini, Cafu, Stam, Nesta, Gattuso, Seedorf, Pirlo, Kaka and Shevchenko.

Under Rafa Benitez, Liverpool and Steven Gerrard genuinely looked world-class, but a large part of that success was down to the subtle presence and often-overlooked contribution of Javier Mascherano and Xabi Alonso. Lacking that anchorman and the deep-lying plamaker second only to Andrea Pirlo (no coincidence that they now play for Barca and Real?), Stevie G looked without direction, ironic that many now observe he runs everywhere and does little else.

To reinterate, Steven Gerrard does not fit into the current Liverpool side, and is a detriment to Brendan Rodgers' plans in bringing them forward.

To be fair, this isn't even a thought I've come up with alone and originally. A former colleague of mine, born and bred in Liverpool said two years ago that to have Liverpool succeed, Gerrard needs to be dropped. But it would never happen. Controversial? Sure. But perhaps true. Look at Liverpool's performances this season. Admittedly, it's early days yet, but Gerrard's tendency to go for the "Hollywood Pass" breaks up the tempo of his own side. And that's the reason Charlie Adam was allowed to go to Stoke.

It will be interesting to see how Liverpool will line up when Lucas is fit again, to provide a screen in front of the back four and allowing Allen and Sahin to dictate the play. One has to believe that both of them will play, and that Gerrard will not be deployed as a winger - those berths will be given to the excellent Sterling and one of Borini (oh no), Downing (oh no) or Joe Cole.

Dropping the living legend that is Steven Gerrard is, in my opinion, the way to go for Liverpool, for Brendan Rodgers to have his side play his brand of football in his vision. But it is also worth noting that even before he was at Swansea, the side were already playing good football, an ideal brought to them by someone else who might deserve more than what he is getting at Wigan.

Football Loot

If you're familiar with the any of the plethora of modern-day video games, you'll understand that the term "loot" refers to both the money (gold, credits, coin, bottlecaps) and the items (trophies, baubles, trinkets) you might earn while living your virtual life. Or you might be a pirate, but you're probably not. Regardless, "loot" is a touchy and important subject in today's game, and the focus of discussion today.

I was recently involved in a debate with someone in the office here at ESPN Star Sports, and he believed that if Liverpool had won the FA Cup last Saturday, they would have had a great season. They didn't, and so his argument might be moot, but I'm sure he will also say that lifting one trophy at Wembley already constitutes a good enough season, compared to a certain Manchester club who will almost surely finish empty-handed.

That's besides the point, though.

The next few years are going to be vastly important in reshaping the financial landscape of European (and global) football. With the Financial Fair Play rules coming into effect, teams will be barred from overspending. In a nutshell, a club will very soon only be allowed to spend (roughly) as much as they earn (some reports suggest a loss of no more than  €15m each year over the next three years on average). What does that mean for the clubs?

Someone once said that Champions League football is the difference in signing Ashley Young and Stewart Downing. While he probably meant the glamor of actually playing in elite Europe, rather than the Europa league, the statement holds more truth than ever before. While cut-price deals are always available (Yohan Cabaye, and even Rafael van der Vaart were much cheaper than either Villain), not being in the reckoning for the Champions League means than a side will be unable to offer either the chance to face Barcelona, nor the enhanced paycheck that could come with it.

From a player's standpoint, netting the side a few more dollars might not be high on one's list of priorities, and it's more than understandable. They play for trophies and medals and titles. Even the ones with bulging cabinets want more. But in this day and age, you simply cannot challenge for major honors without the financial backing that comes with the Champions League. Wayne Rooney threatened to leave Manchester United because of their "lack of ambition" in transfer signings. Arsene Wengers says that signing Podolski will "convince" RVP to stay. PSV, conversely, have been reduced to a selling club because they cannot balance the books due to a lack of Champions League revenue.

And that is revenue a club will not receive from winning a domestic cup. A good cup run (and win) is an acheivement, of course. But so is a good league standing. League positions do not lie, while a side may win a cup competition without being particularly good. Just ask Greece. And ask FC Alania Vladikavkaz, who got to the Russian Cup final (and the Europa League) without scoring a single goal. But the Europa League will always be seen as the "lesser" competition, regardless of competitors. Take a moment to digest this: Playing in the Champions League group stage will guarantee upwards of 8m Euros, which is already more than winning the Europa League.

And so reaching Wembley gives you a chance of some serious loot, and Steven Gerrard himself has said that his best memories of his playing career are the cup successes he has had, but the question is, of course, if it is the best loot. I've always preferred to speak and write about the tactical side of football, and have never enjoyed thinking about the numbers (other than the ridiculous story behind Nicklas Bendtner's 52). The issue of Champions League qualification, however, is quickly becoming more and more important. There was a time I questioned if aiming for fouth spot in the Premier League was good enough for a side, rather than tasting "actual" success. But it seems that in some says, that lucrative Champions League spot might already be "actual success".

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Employee of the Month: Carlos Tevez?

There are few players that divide opinion like Carlos Tevez. From his time in Argentina (before his ill-advised amateur golfing career) and then Brazil, to his strange move to West Ham and then to Old Trafford and finally as he made the short trip to Eastlands and then going full-circle back to South America, the Argentine hitman has courted controversy as much as anyone else you can think of. The man whose entire career is a transfer saga has always been mercurial - a messiah and maniac, prodigy and pariah. Stocky and scarred, his visage is splayed across the back pages of newspapers and tabloids across the footballing world, for a myriad reasons.

The obvious choice for a striker's spot in anyone's Team of the Week today, City's former skipper bagged three against Norwich at Carrow Road, reminding everyone of the player he once was, and perhaps still is - the man who inspired the blue half of Manchester to FA Cup success and Champions League qualification last season. What a welcome to Manchester it was, then.

But it was in the Champions League that Tevez's downfall was all but cemented. Already pining for a move away from the Etihad (with reported offers from AC Milan, Internazionale, and Paris Saint-Germain), the whole story behind his refusal to warm up against Bayern Munich may never be revealed, but supporters of striker and manager exist en masse, and perhaps both sides have good arguments. The end result saw the Argentine fined by the club, with added disciplinary action leading to him packing up and heading to Argentina.

During the months away from City, the team continued to do remarkably well (as did United, a strange parrallel whereby bth teams performed without their top scorers last season), though his golfing exertions didn't exactly yield an invite to the Masters. And all the time, he was still receiving wages from the employers he refused to play for.

Think about it for a moment, if you will. You are told by your boss that you have to do something you are contractually obliged to do (and paid handsomely to do), but you refuse. You are not fired. You leave your place of employment without permission, and stay away for several months, all the while collecting your salary. During this time, your other colleagues, for better or for worse, are doing their best to acheive what is best for your employer. You then choose to return to your place of employment, and promptly displace the worker(s) who had carried the ball for you while you were gallivanting off on the green.

It sounds harsh, of course, but it is the truth. Neither the idiocy or immobility of Balotelli or Dzeko, nor the phantom foot-spray woes of Sergio Aguero can mask that fact. What of the ever-professional James Milner, or the under-utilized Adam Johnson, both players who have their opportunities in the side pushed back by the return and almost immediate inclusion of Carlos Tevez?

There is no denying that Tevez is probably a much, much, better player than Balotelli or Dzeko, and that the Argentine pairing that led the line at Carrow Road is probably the best striking duo in the league. What is up for debate, though, is what Man City have lost in their quest to win.

After the warm-up debacle, Mancini was vehement in stating that his former captain would never play for his side again. After the player left to Buenos Aires, it seemed almost guaranteed. But a sudden return and reserve team outing suddenly saw the promise forgotten, by players, fans and manager alike.

Perhaps the decision was made by Mancini's employers, but that still raises the same questions directed towards the Etihad, and sets a dangerous precedent. His imbecelic antics aside, can you look at Mario Balotelli with an accusatory eye when he can at least claim to be more professional than Tevez? He has never gone AWOL for months at a time, and in fact did very well in the time Tevez was away, red cards and poor performances (in the eyes of Mancini) coming to the fore after Tevez returned to Britain. Can you blame Edin Dzeko for being demotivated when he was the one who was scoring goals alongside Sergio Aguero, but has lost his place to the two monst controversial strikers in English football?

Manchester City are still in with a shout of lifting their first ever Premier League trophy, though the title is still very much in United's hands. Many have called the return of Tevez as a turning point in their season, the catalyst and spearhead to rejuvenate their ailing league campaign. But City had a chance to make a statement, one which many (including myself and everyone else here) thought they did make, that nobody was bigger than the club. Several likened it to Sir Alex Ferguson's treatment of Jaap Stam, David Beckham, and others, and heralded it as City's rise to prominence, a sign of great success to come. Great success is probably still in City's near future sometime, but perhaps that success may be tainted.

This and more at www.thatswhatnazsaid.blogspot.com

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Statues of Liberty

"Swansalona" is quickly becoming a common term this season as the first Welsh side in the English Premier Division continues to impress. While this article may be long-overdue (Swansea have been sticking with the same style of football since August), it, like the team in focus, has had a patient build-up.

Few sides can boast wins against both Man City and Arsenal this season (only Sunderland and Man Utd can, if you count all domestic competitions) as well as draws against Chelsea and Liverpool, alongside a point gained against Spurs when they still played Bale on the left and Van der Vaart behind Adebayor (more on that in coming weeks) at the end of 2011. For a newly-promoted side to have that record - as well as only losing to Arsenal and United due to lone, individual errors - almost boggles the mind.

And this is a side built on a shoestring budget, with none of the funds that the likes of Malaga or even Leicester City have splurged to propel them into (relative) footballing heights. They've spent less than £6m on signings for the first-team (Vorm and Graham) and have among their squad a number of players who have played for the side (Garry Monk, Alan Tate, and Leon Britton) who have played for them across 4 domestic divisions. If ever there was a rags-to-riches story, it is at the Liberty Stadium that you'd find it, surely.

And a fitting name that, looking at the way they go about ther business on the pitch. For long periods of time this season (and during individual games), many believed that Swansea flattered to deceive, that their possession-based play would not do them any favors. "Swansalona" might be the catch-phrase, after all, but Danny Graham isn't Lionel Messi, Nathan Dyer isn't David Villa, and Leon Britton and Joe Allen aren't Xavi or Andres Iniesta. That Opta once had an in-depth comparison between Britton and Xavi notwithstanding, such comparisons were amusing, if nothing else.

But the results mentioned before speak for themselves. They currently sit 8th in the table, comfortably safe from relegation (barring a spectacular collapse) and only three points behind mighty Liverpool. What have they been doing right with such limited resources?

Many point to manager Brendan Rodgers for encouraging their style of play, while others point towards former manager Paulo Sousa (though in his best season his side only managed 40 goals in the league, contrasting with beating Twente 3-1) who took over from one Roberto Martinez. Either way, credit still has to be placed on Rodgers, who once worked under Jose Mourinho at Chelsea. Perhaps a bit of The Special One's special touch rubbed off on the former youth team manager, who has gotten the absolute best out of his squad so far.

Their rock-solid defensive displays have lent themselves to their string of impressive performances in 2011/12. World Cup Finalist Michel Vorm, signed for less than 10% the fee Manchester United paid for David de Gea, has been heroic. Ashley Williams in the heart of defence has been similarly imperious, and the side did not concede a single goal at home until the end of October. Only Manchester City have conceded fewer at home, and even then the Swans have already baeten the men from the Etihad.

Their regular wingers Nathan Dyer and Scott Sinclair have also won many plaudits (as well as Fantasy Football points) with their incisive running on the flanks, offering endless energy and enthusiasm if perhaps lacking in genuine quality. But as mentioned before, manager Brendan Rodgers has allowed his two wingers (and the journeyman Wayne Routledge as well) to flourish in the roles he has set for them.

But it is in the centre of midfield where the answer to Swansea's rise to prominence lies. The partnership of Allen and Britton, complemented by either Mark Gower or the excellently-named Gylfi Sigurdsson, is the reason for the parallels drawn with a certain Catalan side. Leon Britton remains one of the only outfield players who have a 100% pass accuracy in a single game (v Bolton in October). That's not happened in over half a decade in the Premier League, and the only other players who have done it in that time frame are defenders playing square passes.

It was their wins against Arsenal and Manchester City that raised the most eyebrows, and made the most headlines, of course. But again, why have they done so well?

Last week, both Manchester clubs, far and away the best-performing ones in England domestically this season, crashed out of Europe. They've already been eliminated from the Champions League, obviously, and now bowed out of what many see as a significantly inferior competition against significantly inferior opposition. Sporting Lisbon and Athletic Bilbao aren't even Porto and Barcelona. But Sporting and Bilbao, over two legs, outplayed City and United with possession-based play. City also lost in the group stage to Bayern Munich, who also keep the ball very well thanks to Bastian Schwensteiger. Barcelona beat (some say humiliated) Arsenal in Europe with the same style last season. And in the final, Barca beat BPL champions United with the same game-plan, executed to perfection. This season, Arsenal (again) were comprehensively outplayed in the first leg of their knock-out tie against a Milan side that kept the ball tremendously well. Which is what Swansea did against them as well. Yes, Swansea have now been compared to Bayern Munich and AC Milan as well as Barcelona.

This blueprint was obviously not set in place with the specific intent to beat Wenger, Ferguson and Mancini, but the consistent failures of the "top" English sides in Europe against sides that employ this form of play might even suggest a fundamental failing that English sides have against it. The counter-argument is that City are a cosmopolitan side managed by an Italian, but perhaps this is still an observation worrthy of further study. If such a failing or weakness does exist, perhaps Brendan Rodgers and his Swans have stumbled upon it, and inadvertantly or not, have exploited it to their startling benefit.

In all probability, the cries of "Swansalona" will continue to ring for the rest of the season, whatever happens. Perhaps they are deserved, the comparisons between the smallest side in the league to arguably the best footballing side in a generation, but either way, it is certainly fitting that it is at the Liberty Stadium where the most unrestricted brand of football is on show.

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In the Wings

Spanish playmaker in the blue kit, signed from Valencia and has created more goal-scoring opportunities for his teammates than anyone else in the league. No, it's not David Silva, but his former teammate at the Mestalla, Juan Mata. While that notable statistic is remarkable itself, it's also remarkable that Mata is often deployed on the wing, rather than through the middle like most other players classed as "playmakers". That being said, he is hardly the only one in that situation.

Placing a creative player on the wing, rather than through the middle, seems like a curious tactical decision. In other parts of Europe, the term trequartista is common, and often attributed to attacking midfielders and deep-lying forwards who dictate the tempo of their team. Francesco Totti is perhaps a great example of this kind of player. In the BPL though, we regularly see Mata playing on the left wing for Chelsea, and the same goes for Samir Nasri at Man City. The Frenchman is, of course, playing in the same side as the premier trequartista in the league so it may be hard for him to find a place in the side otherwise. That being said, his best moments for Arsenal in the past came when a certain Cesc Fabregas was missing and he was shifted central. You could even say the same for the current fans favourite at the Emirates, Andrei Arshavin. Once the hottest property in European football, the Russian has been reduced to a bit part player, booed and jeered by his own supporters. But it's worth noting, again, that he played his best - at Zenit and for Russia - when deployed in a central position and not on the left wing, opposite a mostly hapless Theo Walcott on the other side.

There are others too, of course. Rafael van der Vaart is arguably Tottenham's best player, but even he is sometimes tasked to play on the right wing, rather than "in the hole" behind Adebayor (or Peter Crouch last season). The same goes for Niko Kranjcar, who almost never gets to play in the middle of the park given the presence of van der Vaart and/or Luka Modric (who has received more passes than anyone else in the league). Mikel Arteta, while at Everton, played many games on the right wing. Now at Arsenal, many have said he is no replacement for Fabregas but the stats show that in the games he has started, they've picked up significantly more points per game than when he is missing. No surprise, he plays at the heart of the Gunners' midfield and has been subtly sublime.

And so the likes of Arshavin and Nasri have been criticised for their lack of contribution to their respective sides, while Juan Mata sometimes remains only on the periphery of the game and the leader boards.

Conversely, Some other teams and their managers - for whatever reason, recognise the importance of a central playmaker. Yohan Cabaye, Newcastle's outstanding purchase from French champions Lille, never strays from the middle of the park. Paul Scholes, save a few outings for England on the left wing, is the same (pre and post retirement). Xavi, Xabi Alonso, Pavel Nedved and Andrea Pirlo are other prominent examples alongside the likes of Joe Allen as less-heralded, modern-day editions of midfield metronomes. You may argue that that's at least partially because they lack another attributes (such as pace) to be placed on the wings at all, but isn't it more because they are simply devastating in the middle of the field, while not nearly so anywhere else?

There are times where converting someone from a central player to a winger proves a great move. Gabriel Agbonlahor is a fine example of such - an athelete who possesses great pace and power while perhaps lacking panache. A player we've analysed many times, the general consensus is that he is much more effective out wide simply because of his physical attributes, which far outweigh his "football intelligence" - a statement often attributed to folk like Gabriel Obertan, Theo Walcott and Aaron Lennon as well. So it seems almost self-explanatory, surely, that a team should have its most "intelligent" player in the heart of the midfield. With the Super Bowl still fresh in recent memory (for those of us interested...), you have the traditional quarterback, key to just about any offensive play, in the middle of the pitch as well.

It's worth noting, obviously, that there have been instances where a playmaker or dazzlingly creative player on the wings benefitted a team to great effect. A young Cristiano Ronaldo and a younger Lionel Messi for Manchester United and Barcelona respectively were frighteningly good on the right flank. But then you realise that since Ronaldo has moved to Madrid and Guardiola has switched Messi to his central attacker, they have been that much more brilliant. And so it's a very real point for many managers past and present to examine the players they have at their disposal and decide if, by playing someone as a winger, all he is doing is clipping their wings.

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Striking Out

The Christmas-Boxing Day-New Year's period is always a frantic one for the Premier League. Arguments and debates regarding a winter break aside, you're almost guaranteed some fantastic talking points with action just about every day. This year's run of games was no different, with shocking results all around in what has been a most engrossing season. Other than upsets though, the last few weeks have also seen a few strikers hit the news for various reasons.

I've written about Arsenal numerous times, and for a long time I've felt that they've been lucky to have finished in the Top Four and qualify from the Champions League. Since their stunning team of Invincibles, each incarnation of Arsene Wenger's Gunners has been significantly weaker than the last, and they are only where they are this season because of RVP's goals, Gervinho's addition and Vermaelen's return. Given that their star man is due a long-term injury soon and Gervinho will be off to the African Cup of Nations, the loan signing of a certain Thierry Henry might be perfect. Wojciech Szczesny says that his side "needs" the return of the Frenchman, and that statement raises a few pertinent questions.

The former Arsenal frontman and skipper returns to a side that barely resembles the one he left - Ljungberg, Gallas, Baptista, Flamini, Lehmann, Adebayor and Aboue have all left alongside the other big name Cesc Fabregas (also to Barcelona). Their replacements have turned in performances at varying degrees of success (you'd pick Wilshere over Flamini, surely...) and Robin Van Persie has certainly supplied the goals that Arsenal have needed. But what else are they lacking?

Szczesny said that Henry would provide a dressing room presence that the club needs, a telling line that might suggest that the London side still lack a leader - an accusation made even when Fabregas had the armband. This Thierry Henry is not the Henry of old, though, arguably the most dangerous striker on the planet (possibly out-performing Ruud Van Nistelrooy near his peak) and Arsenal will hope that his short-term deal will pan out as well as Henrik Larsson's did for Manchester United in 2007.

The Red Devils themselves have a strange striking situation. Dropping the league's top scorer at the start of the season isn't a luxury afforded to many sides, but United are still the only side to have scored in every league game this term. Most of the attention, of course, is on Wayne Rooney, the talisman United have craved for since the days of Eric Cantona.

But it is on the dropped striker that the Cantona comparisons are made, with Dimitar Berbatov's relaxed approach to the beautiful game drawing as much praise as it does criticism. Linked with a move to Juventus recently, the Bulgarian has often said that he is very happy to remain a squad player at United (a sentiment shared by the forgotten Michael Owen) but has started firing again in recent games, and one wonders what the future holds for the silky striker.

United do need him, though not as much as Arsenal need RVP, but Berbatov offers the option that Rooney, Welbeck, Hernandez, Owen, Macheda, or Diouf (that's a lot of strikers...) don't. When I wrote a few months ago of the importance of Tom Cleverley in allowing Wayne Rooney to play at his best, the main point was that the young midfielder offered a fulcrum to which the rest of the team could revolve around. Dimitar Berbatov is that sort of player as well, if utilized properly. He is not a big targetman like Edinson Cavani. He will not run behind defenders like Filippo Inzaghi. He is not going to score from 35 years like Gabriel Batistuta. And he will not run, terrier-like, as Carlos Tevez once did for Man Utd.

It is perhaps unfortuante, then, that the purchase of Berbatov was seen as a factor in driving out Carlos Tevez, who in many ways is the polar opposite of his former team-mate.

Never staying anywhere for long, the vagabond Argentine has been courted by both AC Milan and Internazionale, as well as big-spending Paris Saint-Germain. City's former captain, and now public enemy number one, the man's career is a transfer saga in itself. There isn't much to say about him except that the move in many ways has been long overdue, and that at his best, there are few better in the world at the position. It says much for City, sitting pretty at the top of the BPL, that they are so willing to offload the player that is probably the reason for all their success now. Would David Silva and Yaya Toure have flourished without Tevez? Would they have even been persuaded to move to Eastlands?

The departure of one South American hitman coincides with the absence of another, the former Ajax maestro Luis Suarez. Banned for eight games after the incident with Patrice Evra, details are sketchy to this day, with Liverpool saying it a matter of one man's word against another. The fact that testimonies from the Liverpool players and officials (including Suarez himself) don't add up though, speak poorly for his case.

On the pitch though, he is the dynamo that Liverpool have lacked since injuries cripplied Steven Gerrard's playing time. An on-form Suarez makes Liverpool as dangerous as they did when Torres and Gerrard terrorized defences across the country. However, the striking difference is just that, the striking.

With a strike conversion rate of less than 10% (and only about 50% of his shots hit the target at all), to call him wasteful might be generous. But the form of Andy Carroll, the conversion of Dirk Kuyt to winger, and the inability of Stewart Downing to find or create a goal this season does not bode well for the Reds, still seeking a top four finish even after this morning's crushing defeat to ten-man Manchester City.

How can Liverpool cope without him? Andy Carroll did so well at Newcastle because Joey Barton, Jonas Gutierrez and Kevin Nolan supplied him the kinds of balls that the big man thrives on, enabling him to reach doubel figures before Christmas. The delivery has been lacking at Liverpool, despite the management bringing in Adam, Downing and Henderson becuase of their apparent chance-creating prowess. Indeed, Charlie Adam has been almost ever-present (though not Carroll) but it almost looks like he has ceased to chance the glorious long balls to the targetman that made him so effective at Blackpool. It is notable that Steven Gerrard did supply Carroll with those balls in the game against Newcastle when he came on, and the ponytailed forward looked immediately more dangerous.

The next few weeks will be very interesting for many sides, and many players, not least the strikers we've looked at today. Be it a returning hero, a languid trickster, a wantaway maverick or a misfiring misfit, you can be sure that something is going to happen.

Even if nothing does, that in itself is surely something to talk about.

Happy new year everyone!

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