Avatar: Spoiler-Free Movie Review

So, I just got back from James Cameron's much-hyped, mega-bucks, special effects extravaganza that was said to be in the works for years and years. As Saj astutely observed, Hollywood directors and producers should take a page out of Cameron's book and take their time to craft a film, because this, this was epic.

Just about everyone has seen the Avatar trailer, or the various behind-the-scenes and the-making-of specials surrounding the blockbuster, and I, for one, was looking forward to it. A point to note, though, was that I was more than willing to accept a rather brainless action movie about aliens and big guns and flashy animals with stunning effects. Which was why I wanted so badly to watch it in 3-D.

That didn't happen, and it was a downer for the hour or so I had to wait before the film began. And even after being seated, Golden Village saw it fit to cram what felt like 49 advertisements for hair-care products and alcoholic beverages (and the perfunctory Visa commercials) while only screening trailers for Alvin & the Chipmunks 2 and Sherlock Holmes. I want to watch one of those movies. Here's a hint: It isn't the one with the word Squeakuel in the promo.

So there I was, all settled in, trying hard not to mind the row of prepubescent Chinese girls and boys (who sounded like girls) that were happily running amok as the lights dimmed. At first, I thought they were misplaced and were actually looking for sparkly gay Vampires, but then the movie started and they shut up.

It's a hallmark of a great and special film when the kinds of people that one expects to tarnish your cinematic experience fade into oblivion. Not a sound came from the group of them, and I'm sure that the fella beside me had his nachos untouched until the end of the movie.

As I was sitting there, trying to think of ways to rephrase "a visual feast that satisfied one's appetite for anything else", I was blown away by, of course, the effects and the sheer magnificence of the backdrops and just about everything going on on-screen. The lush world of Pandora (Borderlands!) is breathtakingly beautiful, and the indigenous flora and fauna are stunning, for lack of a better word. I watched a pretty cool documentary about what life on low-gravity planets might look like, and this seemed close. And there are Mechs! I haven't seen a Mech since The Matrix: Revolutions. Plus, Dragonhawks! Sheit.

The plot isn't that profound, and a quick scan of the trailer would enlighten the casual viewer on the gist of it, but, more importantly, it isn't stupid either. Midway through I realized that it was a hybrid of Pocahontas and Star Trek, quite honestly. There are a handful of things in the film that you would expect and predict, though I won't reveal any details. This doesn't detract from anything though, and while you might not get any Sawesque twists, it seems like just the right blend of intelligent dialogue, witty humour, solid storytelling and fast-paced action to warrant at least a second viewing.

Yep, I decided I was going to watch it again less than an hour in. Oh, the movie is long, more than two hours, and trust me, you do NOT want to leave for a pee break. Make sure you are suitably relieved before it starts.

Sigourney Weaver's character, of course, made me think of the last one that was directed by James Cameron, and her as well as Michelle Rodriguez', another tough, no-nonsense chick. It's the second Sam Worthington movie I watched, and like the first one, I absolutely loved it.

It's been a good year for movies for me, I think. Star Trek. Coraline. Terminator Salvation. 500 Days of Summer. Up. Saw VI. Watchmen. How does Avatar rank among them?

I told a number of people the instant I stepped out of the theatre that it was the movie of the year. By far. Some might attribute that to just post-film gushing and euphoria, and that may be so, but then, no other film made me feel this way either. It definitely sits among favorites like Lord of the Rings, Terminator 2, and Jurassic Park in almost every way.

I'd give it a minimum of 9/10, though the only reason it might lose out on a perfect score is that I would have liked if there was more detail for certain parts, but I'm a geek and it's not at all important. Oh, and also for the cheesy name of Unobtainium.

But wow.

My December

This year has flown by. Flown by.

My ill-fated trip to Krabi, hospital visit and all, still plays clearly in my head as if it were yesterday. I can still remember the rock-climbing, snorkeling, being jolted from sleep by certain people in the early hours of the morning.

But that was almost a whole year ago. A lifetime ago, it seems.

Alot has happened since then. I don't need to spell out the most major things, but those who have been paying attention would agree (and have pointed out several times) that I'm a changed person. Some say it's an improvement, some say it's not, others think it's more of me being who I really am, whatever or whoever that is.

A whirlwind ten or eleven months has led to where I am today. Done with what may be my final exam ever in Singapore, but maybe not. It's a scary thought, especially considering the fact that for such a long time, things seemed really foggy at the best of times.

Imagine, if you will, you get a nice jigsaw puzzle. Only the picture on the box isn't something you'd expect like a scene of a sunset against snow-capped mountains or kittens in a basket or your favourite Disney characters assembled a-smiling. The picture on the box - the puzzle - is something you don't really recognize or are able to identify. Just a jumble of shapes and colours, patterns and motifs.

So you toil, painstakingly, over this seemingly impossible situation, and just when you think you got it figured out, you realize that you've been using the wrong sides of the pieces, and now you have to start over. What you thought fit before, may or may not anymore.

I wonder how things will be like in the near future, in many regards, with many people. Some of these thoughts have already been discussed with the relevant people, and some of them remain either oblivious or defiant about things.

Ah well.

COM 443: Final Thoughts & Suggestions

It's been one hell of a semester, in many regards. This is going to be the last Advertising-Module-Related post, in all likelihood, so bear with me.

To recap, I've said this and this and this.

All in all, it's been a rough ride for everyone, and there is no better measure, in my opinion, of what we've been through than the fact that we have barely had five football gatherings since September. That's ridiculous, considering I've been playing religiously since January, and most of the others even earlier so.

I heard that before, the Advertising course that we've all slogged through involved impressing actual clients and/or representatives of ad agencies. That would actually be pretty cool, on many levels. It adds to the realism bit, as well as offering us students the opportunity to test our mettle and be judged by actual, real-world industry professionals. I'm not detracting from the current instructor's ability, but you see where I'm headed here.

Being an American course on Advertising, I can understand, expect and appreciate the emphasis on group project work. However, there are a few things to consider regarding the grouping that may be greatly beneficial to future victi - err, students of COM 443.

It's no secret that certain groups, though randomly assembled, are totally and wholly superior to their "competition". I'm not just talking book-smarts, of course. What happens if a group doesn't have anyone proficient in Photoshop or other graphic design software? What happens if the entire group, in a cruel twist of fate, has smart, creative people but all of whom suffer from the severe disability to speak to a crowd? What I'd suggest is at the start of the course, students "rank" themselves according to their ability and talents in different areas, some of which include:

Graphic Design and/or Drawing

Public Speaking

Creative Flair

Language

Video Editing

Audio Editing

Photography

A basic 1-10 on the above (which is far from exhaustive) would suffice, and then the instructor can ensure that there is some even distribution of talent, for lack of a better term.

Of course, the random nature of the (current) grouping procedure is designed to reflect the dynamic and unexpected nature of the working world that all of us should be entering soon. However, there are a couple of things that could potentially help all involved.

In a real working environment, of course, you'd expect people to switch jobs and agencies due to whatever reasons. Personal issues, financial gains, proximity to home, culture clashes, the list goes on. The same should be allowed in the classroom as well. But what, you say, what happens if people just decide to hang with their buddies? One might design a system whereby only straight 1-for-1 swaps are allowed, and only one person may swap per group per semester. That would work (somewhat), no? An example to highlight:

Group A consists of seven members, assigned somewhat randomly by the instructor. However, it's a busy, hectic, difficult semester, and while nearly everyone in Group A is able to meet every Tuesday and Thursday morning to get their work done, Person X cannot, because she has a class that the rest are not a part of. Weekends are worse, due to other commitments. However, Person X might be a better fit in Group B, who has someone willing to swap immediately.

Swap proceeds.

Group C, however, has the best friend of Person X, and now she wants to go to Group B too. However, due to the fact that Group B had previously decided to use their "Transfer Card", so to speak, no such move is possible.

Flawed, but oh well.

Finally, and most controversially, each group currently has to appoint a leader. An Agency Director. A CEO. A Boss. Give the boss some power. What power, you ask? The power to fire people. It's supposed to simulate a company, a real-world agency, isn't it? Let him/her fire people (one person?) should the need arise. The leader is elected anyway, so the group already has some regard for his/her authority.

What happens to the said fired person? If another group wants to take him/her up, by all means. If not... Drop the course? That would be harsh(er). Perhaps there could be supplemental, solo projects for everyone in class, for small extra credit. But these projects would become the bulk of the said person's workload, maybe with new dimensions and added difficulty, of course.

So what do you think of that, hmm? Full of holes, of course, but I think it could work.

COM 443: Closing Reflections #3

I stand here before you today, as the last speaker for the last group, for what could very well be the last time many of us see each other in a classroom setting. It's been a hell of a ride. I'm not going to have a video with Black Eyed Peas in the background. I'm not going to open or close a heavy book. I'm not going to put away a script. I'm not going to sing and dance. I’m not going to recite poetry or have people run around and act out a scene.

I remember when I had to address a new batch of Student Council members as Editor on my first day of the job. I didn’t even have slides, so this is an improvement. But I’m not here as the Editor of The Buffalo Horn. I’m not here as the guy who does silly comics.

I’m not even exactly here as the head of Spatiality. I'm here as Naz, to tell you about Spatiality, though we each have our own stories to tell. Here is ours, in my words.

When the class list for our little foray into Advertising was revealed, I was quite impressed. Excited. Happy. I’ve worked with a number of people here, and have seen the way many others do their things too, and have always been suitably and quite awesomely impressed by the majority of the people gathered here. I can honestly say that there was almost no way I could have been displeased with the way the groups turned out.

That being said, though, I have to be frank with everyone and I vividly remember walking into class with Justin and Ken on Day 1 and thinking about working with them again, like we’ve done so a few times in and out of class before.

I look at Spatiality, and see six people I have had mixed and varied histories with.

Sean I’ve really only gotten to know this year, and with him I feel I share a close kinship, and he is probably the only other person other than Ken who can yell “Eh Malay” at any given time and place. He’s been the one who has provided direction when it has deserted me, and that’s happened a few times.

I’ve always looked at Suen Hui and wondered what goes on in that head of hers. Now I kinda know that she obsesses over Tetris, even before we got assigned Russia, and that hiding inside her is a writer of some imagination and talent, as well as someone with a rich and diverse collection of music and media. I won’t ask how she managed to… procure everything. But she’s always been the one more than willing to put things together, both graphically and musically.

Jamie. She lives near me, which is a definite plus point. She is a constant source of support and cheerfulness, able to tell you the most ridiculously funny stories with a straight face. Like how her friend killed a baby Koala. Seriously. And she is the person who can come up to me at 1AM and suddenly, out of the blue, talk about Left 4 Dead 2. Also being the one who enthusiastically volunteers to print things (at her workplace) helped immensely.

I’ve worked with Felicia several times, and no matter what, I’ll remember the cartwheeling dance she dared to do in front of the whole cohort way back in Sem 1. It’s on YouTube. It takes guts to do what she did, and to do what she does, dare to be different and to be proud of it. She’s also someone always able to think creatively, though sometimes her train of thought is nothing short of perverted.

I never knew Daphne existed before this class. Now, I can’t imagine how that was possible. One of the hardest workers I know, and someone always willing to pick up any slack from anyone, with no complaints, no hassle, no problem. She enjoyed Lesbian Vampire Killers, whatever that means.

Of all the people in Spatiality, and perhaps in this whole class, this whole school, our very own Miss SIM-UB is the one person that I’ve gone through the most with. Through thick and thin, comedy, tragedy, drama. When I saw that she drew number three too, I was… happy.

I was happy with my group. I still am, and am proud to be called their leader, and am only here now because of all their efforts.

But this is a class of more than seven. More than six groups and an instructor. I could never have enough time to go through what I think of everyone here, what I think of our shared journey. Someone talked about how they found that their experience was much more than a sum of the parts in their group, and no truer words have been spoken. Being last today means that there is little I can say that hasn’t already been eloquently said by everyone else in one way or another, but let me just say that through the blood, sweat and tears that we have ALL shed the past few months, we can all safely say “HOLY FRICKING CRAP IT’S OVER”.

But in all seriousness, creativity and execution aside, discounting photoshops, dismissing photography, not looking at editing, ignoring copywriting, we have all put in more than we ever thought possible into this venture.

For a long time, many of us worked towards being on the forefront of creativity, striving towards excellence and to be able to wield a spectrum of ideas. Trying to be original, unique, new, bold, captivating, interesting, the very best. Some tried pulling stunts and theatrics. But we all tried as hard as we could to be a step ahead and to produce something that we could be proud of, something to display and show off. Something to call our own. Something that would endure, something that we would create to last. In the end though, I think we can all, each and every one of us, we can safely say we have left big footprints in our collective memories, and that this class, this ordeal, this trial, this test, this challenge, this experience has left us changed. Through our blood, sweat, and even some tears, it’s a testament to what we’re all made of that despite all the adversity that every one of us has faced and been forced to deal with, to contend with and eventually overcome, we’re all still here.

Here in Singapore we don’t usually pay attention to the occasion two days away, or last month, if you’re Canadian. But we have a lot to be thankful for, I feel.

I thank my group members for being supportive, receptive, open-minded, determined and ultimately for being there.

I thank the other groups, the other members of this class for keeping the big picture in mind, even as the competition heated up. For working together and not against each other, and for the enjoyable semester and past couple of years.

I thank Professor Bob Armstrong, for all he has done for us and even to us, and despite the arguments and disagreements many of us have had either privately or out in the open, I feel I can safely say that we understand and appreciate your efforts into making this a learning experience and doing your best to make this torture fun. It is said you learn more through failure and critique than success and praise, and so perhaps many of us have found the past few months thoroughly enriching.

And with that. I thank you for your time, your patience, your praise, your criticisms, your belief, your faith, your being here.

Thank you.

Star-Crossed

I'm tired. Like, physically drained and exhausted. I had about nine hours of sleep last night, which was nice, but also nine hours more than what I had the night before.

Been an eventful few weeks, for better or for worse. Feels like a long time since I watched a movie, or had any time to just lounge around and now have deadlines on my mind. All drawing to a close, though.

The Leonids Meteor Shower on Tuesday night was quite something. Not as spectacular as I'd have hoped for, and the crowd and slight drizzle were dampeners but still. The company was awesome, and I've never been rooted to one spot for such a long time before. The Day After Tomorrow and Deep Impact were also alright and ironic at the same time, for obvious reasons. I wished they had played Armageddon though.

A few people have... complained... that some of more recent posts have been too long, so I'll end here. Another big week (and weekend) ahead.

Black & Gold

A long, long, while ago, I responded to a notice appealing to interested writers for the Editorial Department of the SIM-UB Student Council. Signing up for the Council was honestly just a matter of me wanting a fancy testimonial that might impress any future prospects, rather than a genuine case of wanting to help out. Horrible, I know.

Since then, though, I've watched student leaders come and go, and been a part of a few things in my earlier days within the group. Then, due to unforeseen circumstances, I was asked to step up myself and assume the mantle of a Director by the President herself.

Now, it wasn't the first time it happened, and I'm not saying that out of a sense of pride or bloated self-worth. I had originally turned down the previous requests due to the simple fact that I was and am aware of the way I tend to grow less interested and bothered by things as time goes on. It's happened before, and I was afraid it would happen again. And I hate disappointing anyone, or giving less than my best, which is why I steer clear of things I am not totally sure of.

However, things changed, and people around me did a good job of persuading me that it could work. And it did.

Removing some dead weight from the team, and bringing everyone together with a common goal in mind was relatively easy, since so many of the ones who stayed were genuinely interested. In fact, it has been a great and fantastic honor and pleasure working alongside each and every one of them.

Kenneth Chow, Bryan, Rolan, Deepan and Ida have been on board since Day 1, and each has contributed in his or her own unique way. Sonia did too, though she left prematurely on her own accord. Later, Jacinda, Syidah, Qing Ling, Andrea, Manik and Kenneth Lee signed up as well, and like the others, have proven great assets to the team. Right now we have four new girls as well - Evona, Wendy, Aqidah, and Laila - who each look more than able to bring The Buffalo Horn to the next level.

The Editorial Team aside, it has been a wonderful experience working with many others as well. The other Directors have made life in SIM-UB vibrant and interesting, offering their expertise and unique advice as and when needed. The Vice-President has also been a source of support and amusement, especially when she isn't parking my car or stomping on my foot. And last, but certainly not in the least, Madame President is probably the single reason I agreed to take up the responsibility as Editor. As I've said before, and will proudly say again, I would not have done so under anyone else.

Of course, there have been disagreements in the past, which is to be expected. The Directors clash on things such as planning and execution of events and occasions. I still tangle with my lady boss over things she doesn't agree with (like my wanting to name the newsletter The Bull Sheet), but all in all it's a cohesive and functioning unit which has seen student life in SIM-UB flourish in many ways.

There are, however, exceptions.

I hate to critique any individual person on-line, but some things have gone on for long enough. Most of you also know that I rarely use names, and that won't change here (though the string of names earlier is different). For a long time, I had to deal with a certain individual who seemed intent on stirring controversy and purposefully brewing trouble and discontent among students in the more senior batches. The said individual is long-gone, and all the better, to many of us, though it seems that another has (not so) quietly emerged.

Like I said earlier, I (like several others) had originally joined the Student Council for material gains, for lack of a better word. But working with those I have named, however, and seeing the fruits of our labor come to actualization, I'll be damned if I let someone - anyone - defame or besmirch the Black and Gold shirts that so many have worked to earn.

What really irks me is that some people are so comfortable in sowing strife within an organization they are actually a part of, and I am left befuddled and lost for words as to why this is so. If you're so unhappy, so scornful, so pitifully angsty, you are free to leave. The option has been presented to you for ages, and it has always been the case. For any of us. And if it were up to me, I would have hauled your little snotty mouth out the door a long time ago.

This isn't the best way of addressing the issue of course. And there's a good chance that many of those involved in one way or another will never read or see or know this one little (?) note. But writing has always been a form of catharsis for me and many others, though I'm not going to let this die just with a few typed paragraphs. Some have called for stern action, others suggest letting it slide.

I'm NOT going to stand around and let a childish twit heckle and bitch about something I consider a part of me. Something I have personally put a large part of myself into (hold the jokes), and something I am genuinely proud to be a part of. I take it as a personal insult to me, my team, and every other person who has ever and will ever don the colors of the SIM-UB Student Council.

There we go.

Coralineeeeeee (Spoiler-free)

I've always wanted to do something for Halloween. People in school know that, and I continually remind them in the couple of months leading up to Halloween that I'd like everyone to dress up and come to class in costumes and the like. Clubbing on Halloween isn't my idea of a great time though, not with ridiculously long queues everywhere. This year though, I did do something slightly Halloween-ish, and I'll say that it was quite something.

I've always been a fan of Neil Gaiman. I love Sandman, read Neverwhere years ago, and also have gobbled up some of his other work with people like Terry Pratchet (Good Omens). Never been disappointed. That being said, though, I've never actually read Coraline before hearing about it being adapted to the animated film playing now.

That being said, I went into the film with very high expectations for the movie, but told myself I wold be disappointed regardless. Kinda like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. However, I was very pleasantly surprised with the experience, and I can't really find anything wrong with it. Let's go through the movie step by step. Spoiler free, of course.

Before the movie began, a trailer for Avatar played. No, not the airbender, but something else from James Cameron. Looks really good, actually. But let's not get too sidetracked. But it was a good omen, and I do love movie trailers so.

As animated films go, this one didn't take my breath away like 9 did, though it's visually very pretty in its own unique way. Decidedly darker (even at its brightest) than, say, Up, every little thing sets the tone for a story that isn't exactly a children's tale. I actually didn't realise that Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher voiced the characters, which was a plus point. Not that I have anything against either of them (I am still a sucker for old school Lois & Clark reruns), but I always like to be surprised at cast members who aren't hyped.

Voice-wise, everything fits. Dakota Fanning does brilliantly as a complicated kid looking for something to spice up her life, bored to death by inattentive parents. Teri Hatcher's does great in her role(s) as well, and so does everyone else. Especially the cat. The music doesn't jump out at you like Up either, but is also generally nice, though melancholy, which is to be expected.

As far as the story goes, you have to expect a world vibrant and stunning when dealing with something coming out of Neil Gaiman's mind. Coraline delivers. Like a modern-day Alice in Wonderland (which I am also looking forward to), the Other World blows the mind in more ways than one. It reminds me of London Below from Neverwhere, and makes me wonder how in the hell someone can think up so many different things. The characters are all great and funny in their own unique way, and the caricature-like manner in which some are drawn adds to the effect.

The plot is surprisingly strong. Again, it's to be expected (at least I expected it) from something from Neil Gaiman, but we've all been disappointed before. Like I said earlier though, it isn't a children's tale, strictly speaking, and is definitely creepy and freaky in many ways. I wouldn't call it scary, but there are things which leave you haunted for a bit, and themes that aren't all rosy. It isn't a scary movie either, of course, but it's definitely something that can be enjoyed by many.

In most of my movie reviews I spend some time dissecting what went wrong in the one or two (or more) things that I have problems with in the given movie. It's hard to think of any here though, simply because everything seems to fit seamlessly. It's not too short or too long, songs are entertaining, the cat is awesome, there are no plot holes I can immediately pick out, and the 3D experience of Coraline is better than the one I had with Up, which was mildly disappointing. Here, many things stand out and leap into your lap, enhancing the whole experience.

All in all, I left the theatre thoroughly impressed and satisfied. I went in hoping for the best and expecting something sub-par, but was treated to a hundred minutes of fun, fright and fantasy. If you're contemplating watching Coraline, I would say it's your best bet looking at what else is showing right about now, other than The Hurt Locker. Definitely better than Darah or Lesbian Vampire Killers, at least.

COM 443: Another Reflection #2

Someone working in the advertising industry told me recently of her frustration that the vast majority of creative, innovative, inventive advertisements are rejected for the stale and mundane stuff most of us are subjected to when we turn on the TV or radio. I find that both disturbing and very disappointing.

But at the same time, expected.

Advertising is, if nothing else, highly subjective and above all else a business. That's one of the first things we learn about it, in the various courses and classes we've taken. But that's exactly what makes it such a difficult thing for students like me to tackle many a time.

Take, for example, the "ASIA" campaign that AIA has been plastering all over signboards, bus stops and print media. I, for one, got it right away but thought it stupid anyway. Others took much longer to see it, though that might just mean that they are less attuned to the ridiculous. And then it wins an award. Wow.

On the other hand, there are ads that many around me like for whatever reason, and these are the ads that are then said to be ineffectual, poor, horrible. What are we to make of this confusing trend? When "research" leads you astray, are you supposed to start from scratch? And just hope?

Of course, there is much, much more to this that I - that many of us - haven't fully grasped yet and I realize that there is every possibility that there's something glaringly obvious that I'm overlooking to make things less frustrating. In the end, though, the more I try and immerse myself into the world of advertising, the more jaded and disillusioned I become.

The guest speaker from Ogilvy was entertaining enough, though what he had to say wasn't exactly enlightening as it was mood-lightening. Of course, I've had the lovely benefit of often speaking to someone currently working at Ogilvy, so that plays a part. I told that person as well, as I alluded to in my earlier entry, of my supposed interest in the field. And of how it has waned.

What now, then? Ultimately there is still work to be done, and conceivably it might galvanize me to rekindle that spark that once was there. Or not.

It's all subjective.

Kites

I've never, for the life of me, been able to keep a kite airborne for longer than the split second it takes for gravity to reintroduce it to the ground. It's yet another entry in my long list of failures, though today I realized that I can draw parallels to the damn thing.

People close to me may know about certain happenings and occurrences going on now, many of which aren't exactly satisfactory to me. These people (and you readers) also know that I rarely go into graphic detail about anything when I write here, so forget any scandalous statements of glorious gossip. I'll just say that I hate being strung around and along, and going from sky-high to having a close-up chat with the dirt from one second to the next. I don't want to be a damn toy.

The fact that Man Utd failed to win also compounds the complications that come with a cellphone that is intent on self-termination, while classes and school which should be fun and enjoyable seem colorless and dull, dreary and repetitive, just shit in general. Just end, already.

Then there's dealing with the incessant pestering and pandering that certain lurking individuals revel in, while other irrational behavior that I conduct and observe remain just that, irrational.

Urgh.

COM 443: A Reflection #1

Professor Bob Armstrong, currently lecturing at SIM-UB, has requested that each of his students detail their experiences in his classes in an online fashion via a simple blog, and while some other have decided to set up entirely new ones for this purpose, the combination of me being too lazy and feeling quite satisfied with this current one led to me just sending him this here link.

Lengthy random introductory sentence aside, let's take a look at what we have.

I've made no secret of the fact that, for a long time, I've looked at the advertising industry with a combination of awe and desire. Ever since I learnt that a relative of mine had something to do with Jessica Alba being in a Singaporean commercial, that feeling has only escalated. This semester, though the advertising module that so many of us gleefully signed up for has been somewhat of a reality check.

Most of us are familiar with the instructor, jolly old Professor Armstrong, prone to the odd and erratic bout of singing and appreciative of a good Hollywood shootout. His somewhat ruthless and hectic schedule isn't a surprise to many of us either, though even the most experienced of us silly students would be hard-pressed to honestly say that they were well and truly prepared for this experience.

I'm not saying it's the most hellish course we've ever had to misfortune of sitting through (especially not after The Drooler and others...), but it's no walk in the park either. The fact that many of us have found ourselves in school early and/or late everyday finishing up projects and assignments, stressing over everything from HTML to tie colors, timing speeches to the second and cramming for 7.25% of the overall grade just adds to the general feeling of what exactly one would be up against in the industry.

Of course, I'm no expert at that, and for all I know our dear Professor could just be a sadistic and malicious prankster, aiming to give us early coronaries. But then my chats with my mystery friend from Ogilvy seems to confirm his assessment of the harsh and hard world of advertising.

One of the positives I can take away from the course so far, though, is the fact that the luck of the draw has been good for me. With the majority of the grade resting on a group performance, graded and assessed throughout the semester, the good Professor saw it fit to randomly group the class into teams of six to seven individuals. While it's fair and accurate to say that I'm not in my preferred combination and permutation of class-mates right now, I'm actually very pleased with the experience thus far. Good blend of talents and personalities, and it's given me the chance to grow closer to some people I wasn't as close to prior to the challenge.

Doesn't hurt, of course, that two of the top three from the recent SIM-UB Dinner & Dance Best Dressed competition are in there with me!

But that's it for now, got the aforementioned exam to cram for, when I get around to it.

Flavor of the Week

Lot has happened in the past seven days.

A week ago, Hari Raya came and went without incident, though the night of the first day was interesting, to say the least. The next few days saw hectic happenings in school and long nights outside. Dark rings and flu ensued, and I woke up at 2pm today, a feat only accomplished by a phone call that prevented me from sleeping through my Sunday.

But it's been a week to remember, for good and for bad, though really my only regret is how I didn't end it as well as I should have.

Question myself alot recently, wondering why I made some decisions, why some things happened, continue to happen. If others will or should.

Oh well.

Eventful

Past week or so has been interesting, to say the least. Alot of good and bad and everything in between, with surprising developments and frustrating obstructions. Decisions to make, things to turn away from, matters to settle too in the days to come. And I find myself spectacularly unmotivated.

I haven't watched Moon, probably won't have the time or company to. Hari Raya rounds are repetitively dull and inane. Certain people are getting increasingly difficult to tolerate. It's the little things that irritate me, and not a little.

Some people envy my position, some people don't know about it. I just want to sleep.

Spent a long time today talking to someone I've always thought of as a friend but who I never really bothered to really talk to prior to today, and I don't know why. Not why I talked to this person, but why I didn't before. Makes one think of what's been missed.

But also what was discussed, revealed, learnt, shared. Of how old, old, friends drift away and how everything seems infantile sometimes when you realize you're clutching at something you're not even sure is all there.

Too many things to do, too little drive to do it.

Something More

Sometimes it's the little things, the forgotten things, the things that have always been there but have never been paid attention to that suddenly jump out at you, painted in moonlight and keeping you up.

It's new, interesting, fun.

Play it by ear.

Clubbed to Death

Naz doesn't club. Naught, nein, nary.

Nope.

Today though, I said that I'd step into the club if everyone (and there were a shitload of people) did the same, and I didn't have to pay. Of course, as fate would have it, someone knew someone and I got that free pass that saw me stumble into a mostly-empty place which might as well have been an alien planet to me.

I was with friends, though, who had made a Pact not to indulge in any alcoholic behavior (well, most of them, at least), and who were the types who would keep promises made (again, most of them, at least).

We were joined by some newer friends, mostly excited, excitable younglings who seemed eager to raise the toxicity of their bloodstream. Eventually, one of them went past the point of no return and got herself quite sloshed. In record time, too.

A long time ago, I wrote something about girls, clubs, drinking, and how the three don't make for a very good combination, all things considered. That upset some people enough for me to take it down, not an everyday event, but maybe I'll revive it soon.

Probably the thing that annoys me the most, irritates me to no end, physically disgusts me is the guy that lurks around these excited girls waiting for one of them to get so hammered she is inebriated enough to not realize exactly who is around her at all times, but still in possession of the required mental capacity to stand and continue dancing.

This is when the afore-mentioned lurker swoops in for the save, chivalrously extending his trembling hands to the little girl's body whenever she looks like she is about to lose her footing. Or even when she isn't.

Sure, this happens all the time, you cry. Clubs are like that. Takes two hands to clap.

Doesn't change the fact that I have lost all respect for some people now, and those of you who have been paying attention know what that entails.

An Epiphany

Taking the train today, I was struck by a startling realization of what is perhaps the single most beneficial thing that driving offers over taking advantage of the public transport services in Singapore. No, it isn't avoiding the rush and crush of the busy crowd during peak periods. No, it isn't having to continually top up that little card as fares rise every few months. It isn't even being able to do without rude strangers and smelly mystery-men.

Instead, what I found, much to my chagrin, was that while on the train or bus, one will invariably stumble upon a girl/woman/thing with a false sense of hotness.

I'm not even talking about the standard bimbotic, prototypical walking make-up dispensers that parade themselves around random corridors like Singapore's Next (only?) Top Model. I'm referring to the females (and that's a stretch) who seem to consider themselves sex bombs, when they look more like they've been hit by a bomb.

Today was a prime example.

Strolling into the insanely empty train cabin, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye that must have blinded folks halfway to Malaysia. A large blob of colour, in skin tight jeans that did everything to highlight the rotundness of their owner's rear, standing with an expression that would have put royalty to shame. And this is from me, who has been told multiple times that I walk with a swagger.

If whales wore denim and excessive mascara, I would have thought one had beached in Kembangan, but oh no, the worst was still to come.

Enduring the sight all the way to where I eventually alighted, I was in for a shock. As if it wasn't bad enough trying to stare fixedly at a point that left her/it out of my peripheral vision (i.e. the floor), when I staggered out of those whooshing sliding doors that irritate me so, I was horrified to find that she was somehow in front of me and walking in the same direction!

Look down, look down, I told myself, and the advice seemed sensible enough, until I met with the contraption that left me wanting to gouge my eyes out with a belt buckle.

Escalator.

Turns out, Little Miss Whale was wearing a neon pink THONG.

How ludicrously and shockingly disgusting, yet expected, from someone whose folds could hide their spare change and whose foundation could probably shield them from nuclear fallout. As I contemplated what would happen if she fell backwards onto me (I have never done up a will, you see), the escalator reached its summit and the little pink strap was blissfully hidden from view again.

Come to think of it right now, I wonder how the thong was even visible. Wouldn't it have sunk into one of the... creases?

I went on with my day, which included watching District 9 (which is awesome) and sitting around with friends who played some acoustic music (also awesome), and all was forgotten.

Until I was on the ride home and saw a Chinese Mat.

Oh my.

Falling

Tired, that's what's been running through my mind the past 48 hours or so, since Tuesday. A disgustingly long session of Winning Eleven was fun, but wasn't ideal in preparing for an overnight stint bordered by emotional farewells.

Sure, there were tears. Sure, it was sad. No real unexpected drama though, even if some had expected or encouraged it.

Couple of weeks to school, another few months which will be interesting, to say the least, with so many important people gone.

Uplifting!

I never liked any of the Ice Age or Shrek movies after the first one. I thought Finding Nemo was distinctly average, and that the slew of other modern animated films (other than Toy Story and Monsters Inc) were passable, at best.

I just got back from Up, however, and wow.

Someone I watched it with said she cried within the first ten minutes, and while I didn't need a Kleenex, I have to agree that there are portions of the film which are both charming and heartwrenching at the same time. It isn't so much an emotional roller-coaster as it is a gentle stroll around the range of feelings what an amazing film ought to evoke.

The comedy is often top-notch too, far funnier than the majority of traditional films released in recent memory. The characters are very Pixarish, and all of them grow on you quickly and you begin to love them after their first few scenes.

Story-wise, it's a far-fetched, fantastic tale of a man's quest to keep a promise made to a loved one, and how he overcomes the various random obstacles placed before him. The plot flows smoothly, allowing each character to be introduced and developed in every way.

The soundtrack lends a great deal to the generally light-hearted feel of the movie, and it reminds me, strikingly, of the first two Terminator movies and how there really is only one actual "song", and the key and tempo of it greatly alters its mood and effect, to a great extent. The music here does a fantastic job in leading the audience down that path from delight to despair to desperation to depression to delirium. Amazing stuff.

Of course, the cynic in me questions some of the logic in the film, like how certain devices could ever function and the sheer physics of a helium-powered building making its way across continents. I'll suspend such critique, however, not because it's "just a cartoon", but because it's just so bloody good.

I caught Up in all its 3D glory, and I have to say, though, that's really the only negative thing I have to take away from the movie. The effect of it being in 3D wasn't really fantastic, and some people around me took off the cumbersome goggles (and goggles are a prominent part of the movie, on and off screen) and simply watched it as it is. Sure, the first time you see the little kid plodding across the street, you are wowed by how it all looks, but then the rest of the movie doesn't seem to make use of the effect too greatly.

All in all, I highly recommend Up to anyone for any occasion. Taking someone out on a first date, another date, a random movie outing with friends or family, alone or in a crowd, I can almost guarantee you'll enjoy it.

Two tips, though. Tissues if you feel you might need it, and pass on the 3D option if you're unsure.

Public Relationships

I've always liked the name Jenny. Really, truly. But the past six weeks or so has befouled the name to such an extent that it will take a really dramatic shift for me to look at the name again with any positivity.

As some may reember, I tend to critique certain educators that I have been unfortunate enough to suffer through rather harshly. There was the inspiration behind Comic Relief, the one who was petitioned against, a cross-eyed Enron lawyer, the drooling mother of Bowser and a few others. Add Jenny to the list.

Sure, she's all smiles and yes, I understand that English may not be her native tongue but -

Wait. Wait just one minute.

Is that fricking Mandarin I see on my frickin slides that I am studying for my exam in little over twelve hours? I was unaware that a course in Public Relations, hosted by an American University in Singapore, would have course material in a language that the students hardly understand! This is ridiculous.

It's bad enough that she takes ages to barrel her way through a single chapter - hindered, no doubt, by her insistence on breaking into Chinese narratives as and when she feels like it - and that her sense of logic is questionable, at best when dealing with matters of her own design, but now I am staring at "notes" which I can't understand even if I wanted to?

Here's the typical exerpt from one of her classes:

"So yesh, de Pee-Are orgazashens speng millings of doh lahs oh nowah public meedya and evry day we see and a here messages becausah you canna pay for Pee Are only you can pray for Pee Are ah ha ha ha. Wo ching chiau Hu way ren du Taiwan de Hong Kong pu may lau ren ta gu xin Democratic Model han shong lay."

And she moves on. I usually step out after the first line in a dialect I don't understand.

How the fuck does Democratic model fit in anywhere?

I've had to deal with this for over a month now, and there really has been little to raise my spirits during this period, though I do admit that the course has brought me closer to a few people I barely spoke to before.

One of the few things that had got me even a little smiley was someone Ive been talking to alot lately, but not recently. Yeah. Kinda weird to be in this situation, realy, and to be honest I have no idea what's going on. A lost, noobish, amateur.

Realised how long it's been since I had a proper phone conversation that didn't end in frustration, though it looks like that end is on the cards again. Ah well, I guess I was right. Everyone got excited over nothing.

Now, I just need to learn Mandarin overnight.

Controlled Alternative Delete

It's been a long while since I put away the things, small and large that used to remind me of times gone by. But lately I've come to realise that everytime I look around me, I still notice that they're not there, and it makes no difference whatsoever. And today I tossed away one of the first and oldest of the things, though admittedly it is in a state befitting a test sample in some biochemical weapon facility.

Looking through my battered laptop, I realised today that I still have a (digital) ton of such things, so I went about deleting them. Was alot harder than I expected, to be honest. Ever watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Probably my second favorite Jim Carrey movie ever (Truman Show is #1). It was like that, midway through I started to doubt myself, if I really wanted them gone. But by then I had gone too far and it was all I could do to just finish up.

I did find a few things which brought a small smile to me and at least one other though.

I need to study, but I'm not. Not nearly.

Backup Friends and More

I had a really nice and long conversation with someone I've never talked to for that long today. Actually not the first time in recent memory that's happened, and for that I'm quite thankful.

She did, however, recount to me the story of how one of her friends told her off for treating her like a "backup", and that coupled with an earlier question and joking accusation got me thinking.

In a few weeks, many people close and dear to me will be jetting off, and there's a chance I won't see some of them, at elast, for maybe six months. Yes, yes, Skype and the like exist, but you all know it's different. I know it's different. Will everything be different?

The person asked me how and why I (relatively) recently became to chummy with certain people who've been around alot longer than we've been buddies, and I of course gave the obvious answer, but then nothing is really ever that obvious and simple, is it?

I don't quite know.

Then there's the matter of the little thing that's got everyone around me excited, though I bet they're overreacting, and that the little plans and stuff won't come to fruition.

Pessimistic? Maybe. I try to think it's being realistic. And not idealistic. I have no idea what I'm doing most the time. Too little, too much?

Long ride home today, but had good company for the first part, where I learnt what a small world we live in.

Lady & The Tramp

I realise I've never watched the entire show, actually. Maybe that will change soon? Maybe. Exams, meh.

Kittens

Sick and tired, and hearing conflicting advice from people I do consider friends. I have kittens now though, yay. Haven't studied for my exam, whoop-dee-doo!

Comic Relief #253 - 254

Introducing the new minah, Nina...

Comic Relief #246-252

And introducing Jilyn, the racist flower-girl!

And Jilyn's side-kick, Fel!

Early Morning

Some folk who frequent this space have a tendency to look too deeply into things. When you look hard enough and want to find something, you'll find it anywhere. This is just something I wrote on a whim, not sure if it means anything at all. Don't overanalyse. Probably too emo for my taste, but it sort of wrote itself.

Do you think it's fair that everything seems to be uneven?
To let me live this way seems so cruel sometimes.
Don't you think I care about things enough to want to know more?
Enough to want to say everything I want to say.

Do you think it's only a foolish dream?
The laughter and the smiles that everyone has seems so different.
Don't you think it's lonely watching and listening?
Counting down the miles and listening to the radio.

Do you think it'll ever happen like others have said?
Be the way I see and the way I've always seen.
Don't you think it's never going to happen, like you said?
The way it needs to be seems like the way it should be.

Do you think that dreaming means anything?
Is all that I can do to keep myself from cracking everyday.
Don't you think that trying is even worth the effort?
Is what I want from you more than what should be?

Don't you think that sunsets like the one while you slept
Are the highlights of the sky but pale beside you.
Do you think that I've yet thought of how it could work?
Learnt to say goodbye and dreaded when I have to.

Do you think that I'm naught but a stupid prankster?
But another worn-out joke and nothing else?
Don't you think that I aught to be more honest?
To mend the thing that's broke the only way I know how.

Do you think that roses can be brought onto airplanes?
Hide a story in their scent because they remind me of so much
Don't you think we're closest and closer than anyone else?
When you finally relent and let me in.

Do you think it's easy for me being this way?
To watch you when you frown and mope and sulk.
Don't you think it hurts me just to try and pretend?
That I can't help when you're down and you don't seem to care.

Do you think and ponder about me at all?
If the chance is there to take would you?
Don't you think and wonder if things were different?
If a better choice it'd make and if the risk is worth it?

Comic Relief

Well, Blogger is being a bitch again, so I think I will limit any future additions to Comic Relief to Facebook. You guys can either add me and take a look at the albums or simply become a fan of the page titled "Comic Relief - Everyone's Favourite True-Story Stick Figures".

...at least until this little problem clears up.

You Just Got Owened

So everyone is like OMGWTFBBQ at Manchester United signing Liverpool legend Michael Owen. The move has been met with general disdain in every corner, both from the die-hard United faithful and the angered Kop fans. Neutrals are either being neutral about it or pessimistically cynical, as people tend to be towards Man Utd.

At first glance, signing Antonio Valencia and Michael Owen to replace the loss of Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez seems feeble, at best. It's like, what, taking off a 30-million pound international striker and thrusting a raw 17 year old rookie when your side is down in a big game. Oh right...

Even with Owen and Valencia in the books at Old Trafford, will it really hamper the team? Last season, Ronaldo wasn't nearly as amazingly talismanic as he was in the season before. Save the game against Arsenal in the Champions' League, one might argue that United might have performed just as well without him, or even a lesser (and perhaps more traditional) winger. In the striking department, people need to realise that Dimitar Berbatov is NOT a targetman like Adebayor or Drogba. At Spurs, he played best when he played BEHIND a true striker. The hole. With Ronaldo's departure, Rooney has voiced his hope that he be alloted a more traditional striking position. With Rooney upfront and Berbatov supporting him, his clever play linking the creative and industrious Man Utd midfield to Rooney's work rate and predatory instincts, you could see how it would work much better than it did last term, with Rooney wide left and Berbatov isolated.

Alternatively, you could look at Michael Owen and call him the better version of Defoe or Robbie Keane at Spurs (pre and post Anfield).

"Oh, but Owen will get injured every week!"

Well, that's what people said about Ryan Giggs when he first started and blew people away. Unlike Berger, Smicer, Redknapp and a few others, Giggs has proven that with a combination of intelligent use by the manager, a top-notch medical team and personal professionalism, injuries did not become a problem for him in his later years at United. Hargreaves aside, of course.

I also question the 'Pool fans who seem to be outraged by the "traitor" Michael Owen. Didn't you guys sign Paul Ince, and make moves for Gabriel Henize, and supposedly Carlos Tevez? You're also telling me you wouldn't want Vidic, Ferdinand, Rooney or even Macheda?

Macheda might be someone concerned about Owen's arrival though. Him and Welbeck had a genuinely impressive season last time round, as did the likes of the Da Silva twins, Gibson, Evans, Foster and the now-on-loan Rodrigo Possebon. Hopefully he won't suffer with less playing time.

Another criticism of this signing is that Man Utd have not gone out and bought a big-name, top-quality star striker. Firstly, let's look at Owen. He's ranked number 4 in the all-time scoring records for England, and is in fact the only player in the top ten still playing today. He's just ten shy of becoming the all-time top-scorer. Alternatives?

Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the lanky and beaky Swede, is a class act but he's proven time and time again that he chokes and simply does not perform in the big stage. At a club like Man Utd, such is unacceptable. And at 90 million, it's a tad overpriced anyway. David Villa wants to stay in Spain, so he's probably off to join the Galacticos or the Catalans if Eto'o goes to Manchester. City. Ruud van Nistelrooy? Andrei Shevchenko? Adebayor? Not really. Luis Fabiano falls in the Diego Forlan cetagory for me. Alexandre Pato is a personal favorite, but Milan are unlikely to let go of him after also already losing Kaka, Beckham, Maldini and the aforementioned Ukranian double flop.

Being able to sign Sergio Aguero, the son-in-law of God, or orchestrating the return of one Giuseppe Rossi would be something to cheer for indeed. Or even landing the hugely impressive Marcus Berg, who lit up the recent U21 Tournament. Ribery seems a lost cause anyway.

As a Manchester United fan, I do look at Owen's signing with skepticism, though I implore everyone else to stop with the negativity until it is warranted. Remember Henrik Larsson and Teddy Sheringham. Who knows, maybe Michael Owen can do something at United he was never able to at Anfield - win the league, something that escapes his best buddy Steven Gerrard to this day.

The Edge

"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room."

I repeated that kind of funny and sometimes true line to a good friend of mine recently, and he has been spouting it ever since. It's amusing, of course, especially since he is genuinely one of the funniest people I have had the priveledge of knowing. Still...

The past few weeks have been tumultuous (whoa, first time I've used that word) for me. People around me having a generally rough time in many corners, not to mention me having to lose several components of my facial hair due to regimental restrictions. Thankfully, the shorn fuzz is well on its way to recovery, but I don't know if the same can be said about everything else.

It's not nice hearing someone cry over the phone, even if you're (hopefully) not the root of the despondency or frustration. It's frustrating to watch someone's hopes get raised and dashed in a span of days or hours, knowing that perhaps the chance has passed. Heartwrenching to listen to someone you cherish speak about the shortcomings of others, the void that you know you can fill, but not being able to because...

Because. Because it's a risk that apparently can't be taken, to risk what is already there.

In recent weeks I've gotten a few things I didn't expect to receive. Flowers and brownies, hugs and CDs, thoughts and memories. Someone told me recently to stop looking for that thing that I want so, but I don't know if I can really help it. Especially today, and after last night or yesterday.

Sometimes I feel like taking the risks that seem too great, making the leaps that seem too dangerous. Other times I just sit and watch, silent and wishing I had more courage, more time, or that things had simply been different so that it wouldn't be a risk at all.

Hedasplode

x(x-x) = x2 - x2 = 0

x2 - x2 = (x+x)(x-x)

x(x-x) = (x+x)(x-x)

x = x+x

x = 2x

1 = 2

Comic Relief #242-245

And introducing...

Vanessa.

Revenge of the Eh...

Ok, I'll say it outright before I get too deep with this review.

I expected to be disappointed by this Transformers film. I entered the theatre with the same mindset I had when going to watch Fantastic Four, and those closest to me will know that while Jessica Alba will make me drool, Megan Fox doesn't really do it for me. Now, let's get started.

Well, the first (second) movie was stellar for me, and for many neutrals as well. This franchise, as you can tell from the title, suffers the same fate as most Hollywood blockbusters, that of crappy sequel syndrome. However, Michael Bay's second attempt at generating many millions of dollars surrounding animated toys isn't altogether craptacular, and I feel there were some good points to take home.

Firstly, I have said many times that the dialogue between Prime and megatron from the previous movie almost made me jizz, because it's almost the same as the "original" showdown exchange they had in the awesome animated movie. You can watch that here (I love that song). Also take note of the way Prime arrives and pwns just about every Decepticon there, and I'll say that there are aspects of this very fight scene that were repeated here, down to the slow-motion floating-in-the-air shooting. I'm a sucker for homages like that, and there is another part in RotF that reminded me of the animated film. Hint: Sad.

One of my biggest worries coming into this movie was Soundwave. Easily my favorite Transformer growing up. If anyone gets me an old-school Soundwave replica, with transforming tapes, I will <3 you so hard. The fact that Soundwave was omitted from the first movie was a minor disappointment, and when I heard he was going to be in this one I had mixed feelings, at best. On the one hand, there was a high chance he'd be totally ruined, but on the other hand it was like finally seeing Gambit on the big screen. Similar results; I'm not displeased with it and the fact that Ravage emerged from Soundwave was a definite plus point. Fans of the older Transformers series, if you remember the little tapes, you might like this.

Err, Linkin park, yay?

Alright. Someone, please tell me what persuaded the film-makers to turn RotF into a film that evoked more laughter than Meet the Spartans? Don't get me wrong, Moulmein High is funnier than Meet the Spartans, but I'm not very happy with the obvious effort that was put into the gags and jokes in the film, when so many other thigns could have been improved. That being said, there are genuinely funny bits.

A big part of the hype for this sequel was the debut and appearance of one Devastator. The Constructicons tradiaitonally have always been an epic part of the Decepticons, and anyone who watched the trailers for RotF would have noted the huge (and that's saying alot) robots that were smashing things all over. Sadly, I have to make it known that the Devastator portrayed here is nowhere near as, well, devastating, as he used to be. You know how Iceman is supposed to be one of the most powerful mutants out there, but in the X-Men films he's a useless punk? Kinda.

Effects are breath-taking at times, as expected, but all the same there are periods where you feel that it's just random mangling of steel and sparks and explosions on screen. Hugo Weaving and the other voice actors do a good job as far as I'm concerned, except for the three or so that, well... I didn't know Autobots speak in jive.

Arcee gets shot in the face! Starscream gets alot more screen time. Wheelie? Really?

The last thing that really put me off I guess is the whole... plot. I want to keep this spoiler free, but when the audience is told of who "the Fallen" are/is (hint), I don't think you'll like it much more than I did. It isn't Megatron. I know right.

Final say? I am disappointed by the film, but I was expecting to be disappointed. As a Transformers fanboy, I was really happy to see Arcee, Soundwave and Starscream (again) as well as more homages to the aniamted film. Negatives include the weak plot and questionable humor (including two separate testicle jokes).

Nothing after credits, get out when the names roll.

Comic Relief #241

Comic Relief #240

Comic Relief #239

Comic Relief #238

Comic Relief #237

Introducing Shen to the Comic Relief family. That's a guitar, not a chainsaw.

Comic Relief #236

No names. Nizam's debut, and the question that sparked laughter from all corners.

Comic Relief #235

Comic Relief #234

Comic Relief #233

Comic Relief #232

Comic Relief #231

Comic Relief #230

Comic Relief #229

Hmm.

Just an old favorite that I forgot I knew.

Comic Relief #228

Comic Relief #227

Comic Relief #226

Comic Relief #225

Comic Relief #224

Comic Relief #223

Comic Relief #222

Jody, with the trademark tied T-shirt/top by the side.

Comic Relief #221

Comic Relief #220

Comic Relief #219

Comic Relief #218

Comic Relief #217

She didn't want her blue pants anymore, Little Miss Headband.

A MINDEF is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Most Singaporean males will look at, think about, speak of, and otherwise see the above-mentioned acronym and shudder and swear. How many of us have given our time, our blood, sweat and tears to this faceless entity that claims to operate for the benefit of us all?

I'll take some time to speak briefly about certain people who strut around proudly proclaiming their antics in the arts of malingering and beign admitted into a mental institution. You're partially the reason the rest of us good folk have to work as hard as we do. Fucktards.

When I enlisted so very long ago, I was given a "low" medical status due to a shoulder condition, and I shared a bunk with people lacking a lung or sternum. Seriously. I will openly admit that I was fortunate in being assigned the relatively "easy" status I was, but I thought to myself that I'd repay it by doing my best when I was given whatever tasks I was. And I would say I did.

I've regretted many things in life. For a long time I regretted royally fucking up my studies when I was younger, before the army beckoned. Now, with life in University looking particularly rosy from amny aspects, I feel like I've been given a second, albeit expensive, chance to make things right.

And then the army calls us back.

Don't get me wrong. I actually think that National Service is a great benefit to a nation. It's just that the way things are run and done now, all the government is nuturing is a growing resentment (from the youths they've trained to fire rifles) towards those in power. The whole experience probably made me a better person, though it also introduced me to the happy world of swearing and cursing.

And what really sets me on edge is the fact that the army seems to revel in messing up your life.

I know a guy studying abroad now who was denied the opportunity to go overseas for a degree in Medicine because the army didn't let him leave the country, with the threat of exile looming large. I saw him every single fucking day. All he did was lounge around an air-conditioned office (with me) and make fun of sleepy logistics personnel (Travers, among them). Was that so important that they had to deny this guy a chance at realising a dream?

Today my brother was supposed to enlist. It's a day most guys never forget. So he made his way, with my parents who took days off from work, to go to the military settlement of Pulau Tekong, only to be told after several hours that his date was going to be pushed back due to him losing some weight. He was also instructed to make the journey from Pulau Tekong (via ferry to Pasir Ris) to CMPB (which is nowhere near Pasir Ris). All this so that someone could check a box in a form.

In an age where bluetooth and iPhones are as common as anything else, and where "our army" boasts technology that would put James T. Kirk to shame, was this really neccesary?

No, that was fucked up.

I, and a few others in school, have recently been told by our friends at MINDEF that our deferment applications have been rejected. Effectively, they are saying "Ha, fuck you and your education! You need to come back to camp, and pretend to get ready for the war that will happen anytime we push the button!"

WHAT BUTTON?!?

Do we really think that (a) there is a war that Singapore will be part of in the near future and (b) our stores of faulty weaponry and unmotivated individuals will even stand a chance against anything but a platoon of schoolgirls? Trust me, we'd be better off fighting with spears and shields than the spectacular crapfest that is the SAR-21.

So here I am trying to think of a way where I won't miss a full third of my semester because some lazy bastards behind a computer screen decided that anyone not in NUS/NTU/SMU isn't worth the trouble of accomodating for.

The Singaporean government has, for a long time, tried to promote a sense of patriotism and love for our country and all that our forefathers have fought and died for. I get that. But by fucking with a generation of pissed off youth, do you honestly think that anyone is going to bother giving a flying fuck about a country that has strived to hinder their own lives?

Fuck no.

I should go to Buffalo and not come back.