Along the Wire

Hey.

You used to call them surprise E-Mails from a crazy Malay boy. Not really "surprise", since they were regular happenings, and not really Malay. The rest is accurate, more or less. Haven't sent one in a bit, and three lines into this, I realize I won't exactly send this, either. Not even sure if you'll read this one way or another.

Long time ago, we talked about bumping into each other suddenly, out of nowhere, and how glad we were to realize that it didn't have to be a rarity. Soon enough, you got me skipping classes to watch the clouds pass and the waves roll, and pretty quickly that became something just the two of us did together. Evening walks and watching the lights shimmer across the water on the pool, our little secret.

You said you couldn't promise anything, but that was alright. You know I never demanded anything at all, and I don't now. But you did promise so, so much. Just by letting me in, sharing and giving so much of yourself. Racking up two-hundred dollar phone-bills, naturally having me elect not to spend birthdays (including my own) with family and other friends, that one glorious night where you came over, taking me totally by surprise, and we took another slow walk to nowhere.

A walk to nowhere, that's what it is now, you know? Maybe that's what it always was to you, but I was too blind to see it. I hope it wasn't , because to me you were the biggest and best part of me.

Was.

I keep telling myself that the tense is right, that I shouldn't be beating myself up over something that I obviously can't change or affect, and some of the little things I've done recently have helped somewhat. Now your name doesn't jump out at me automatically the minute I come online. Yet I still scroll to see if you're there. And wonder. You were the one whose name dominated my in- and outbox for the longest time. The one who called spending hours on the phone every night "SOP". The one with all the flowers. The one'd slip notes into my bag or wallet, or cleverly disguise real-life conversations relayed on your blog. The thing that almost kept me from accepting my job, fearing I couldn't spend enough time with you. The one I grew out my hair for, the one I quit swearing and speeding for.

So what now, or does that not even matter? We promised each other a long time ago that no matter what happened, things would be alright. You made me promise not to forget you, and I haven't and probably never will, though I can't remember the last time we had a decent conversation now.

Did I do something, say something wrong? You said you gave me that chance, the chance I begged for, yet that's something I can't believe. You said there was a time you looked at us and seriously thought about it, and while I do believe that, I'm not sure how long you looked, how seriously you took me. Big part of me hates that I waited, that I stuck with certain principles, wondering what might have been. Perhaps it wouldn't have changed anything, but now I'll never know.

I'll always remember, like I said. That pile of tickets speak of last-minute and overpriced adventures, rainy days with birds nibbling jeans, deja vu animal trips, electric skies on a little island, mind-blowing movies, awesome geek-fests, and more. I remember you sneakily getting a friend to ask me what was up, waiting the hours while you had to attend to your family, driving back with you and others, hoping they'd not ask the obvious, bumping into mutual friends, when you freaked and thought he found out, discovering that we might have known each other all our lives since a shared holiday when we were kids. And for a time, it felt like we did. Still there were the days and nights we'd go to such lengths to gaze at the stars (and Mars), singing stupidly in the car, hunting and ambushing oblivious siblings, exchanging surprise birthday books, watching kites fly, and that time I held you in my arms, when you seemed to happy, sitting on top of that dusty dam.

I don't regret all that. I was happier then than I've been in a long, long time. I only hope I made you happy too.

And wonder what happened to that.

Naz

Huh.

Been having more than the usual number of these shortish blog entries lately, I guess. Microblogging, is that what it's called? No idea. I don't like it. Just not a lot to say sometimes, even when you want or need to say something. Or not a lot that could or should be said.

Small steps are the way to go. Sometimes things make it easier and more difficult all at the same time.

Live in My Memory

Got a new wallet some time ago, and haven't actually used it yet. Went through the stuff in my old (current) one today, and saw something from a while back that made me stop and look at things that have come to pass.

Gutsy.

Fast

My, how a year changes things. And how much has happened in the year since.


Not looking forward to the traditional day of celebration that's due in a few weeks.


I hate questions.

Expendables: Spoiler-Free Review

A few years ago, if you'd have told anyone that a movie would star Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolf Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger alongside UFC legend Randy Couture and WWF/E icon Steve Austin, you'd have their laughter echoing till today. That's a very long sentence.

You don't get long sentences in The Expendables, though, just all those names and more.

I'll get it out of the way early: I really, really liked the movie. It's not Terminator 2 or Iron Man or Avatar, but it doesn't suffer from the stupid plots, poor acting or cheesy effects that seem to haunt more recent films (Last Airbender and Twilight, I'm looking at you, from what I hear). Story follows a group of mercenaries (The Expendables) as they go about their daily business, as you may. Nothing ground-breaking, and somewhat predictable.

But I'd much rather predictable than stupid, and the movie's predictability is somewhat offset by the sheer awesomeness of the cast. It reeks of awesomeness. I haven't even mentioned Charisma Carpenter (Buffy!) and Eric Roberts, brother of slightly more famous Julia. Fans of Heroes would recognize him straight away, Mister Villain, you.

Lots of blood and bullets, with a body count that I'm sure exceeds a couple of hundred. A few of the sequences are reminiscent of something out of Time Crisis, but I for one feel that it's done well. No chaingun from Predator or T2 though.

Arnie and Bruce Willis don't stay on screen too long, but the scene that they do share (with Stallone) is brilliant. Won't spoil it for you, but one line in particular drew a fantastic reaction from the whole theatre. Jason Statham seems to have perfected his character from The Transporter so much that he now carries it with him wherever he goes, and while that might usually be a crutch, it fits really well here. Just substitute the car for a bike. Jet Li, for me though, was really fantastic. I actually had a discussion with friends about how I liked Jet Li more than other Asian actors because he was serious and stylish, but here he made me laugh harder than Jackie Chan ever has. Randy Couture's performance is also commendable, though playing an ex-wrestler tough guy isn't too far from the truth. Steve Austin plays a big bad enforcer type of fellow, and again, it's a role he's played more than once and so does it well. And you just know that the two of them have to get it on. And Mickey Rourke still has his highlights from Iron Man 2, it looks like.

Ensemble casts don't always work though (Manchester City will testify), but it does here. Mainly because they stick to a simple formula and don't try to sell the whole package as anything it isn't. The Expendables isn't trying to touch you or move you emotionally, unless it's invoking a nostalgic, ironic smile, but it delivers magnificently as a movie about a group of good guys going after a bunch of bad guys. Nothing too complicated, and with more than enough bits that make you go "Oooh".

Probably wouldn't watch it again, but more than happy I did watch it at all.

Probably...

I'd say it was better than Predators, which I liked, but not nearly as good as Inception, which was brilliant. Hard to give a number to it, but I'd recommend The Expendables to anyone who's ever enjoyed an action movie.

What The Fish

Somewhat mixed day, to say the least. Started out relaxed, and then rushed, and an unforeseen emergency - are there any other kinds? - before a long series of drives. 28 Days Later and Hook have always and perhaps will always be favorites for separate reasons, and the company was nice to a large degree.

On the drive back from Bukit Panjang, with Heart for company, I was quite excited to have a batch of tuna sandwiches for a late meal.Came home, though, looking forward to that one thing and one thing only, only to have it dashed.

No more tuna. Not the kind I wanted, at least.

Yeah, not exactly the worst news I received today, nor was it earth-shattering in any shape or form.

So I thought to myself, OK, there are other kinds of tuna spread things. They'd do, right?

I sat there, munching on what I had to settle for, and even an unseen episode of Mythbusters wasn't enough to curb the dissatisfaction.

Hate to settle, though some say when you're not left with anything else, that's all you can do.

But then why do it, why do anything at all, when you won't even be happy with the outcome?

So here I am, exhausted yet unable to get to sleep, annoyed with myself more than anything, if only because I can't have what I want the most, and settling for anything else seems even worse than not getting anything at all.

Hooked

Walk Away

Movie lines still echo
True even today
Watching, waiting, hoping so
Things will go my way

Sometimes each day

I catch myself still

Thinking of ways

To change how she feels

A blazing sky
And hopping birds
Never a lie
Within the words

Cloudy defeat
And rainy walks
Used to just meet
And stare and talk

Across the water
Hair in my face
And still I hear her
Another time and place

Surprised one night
A phone call that came
Her eyes so bright
Walking down the lane

Beaches and parks
And five-hour talks
Darwin and sharks
Colored stalks

Humbling, she whispered
That she didn't expect
And why, I wonder
What we want we don't get

Walk away if she asked
The promise I made
But only at last
Were those words said

Though if ever there were
A memory I'll keep
The visions of her
That still haunt my sleep

I bothered. Did you?

Man Utd: Pre-Season Perspectives

With the Community (Charity, dammit) Shield less than 24 hours away, the English football season is looking to be another tight affair. I talked about what I thought about 2009/10 already, so let's take a look at what's in store, especially for Man Utd.

The biggest thing that everyone looks at, more often than not, is the impact of transfers in and out of a club. The Red Devils haven't made quite the same impact as they have in years gone by, and have largely been overshadowed by the other Manchester team (again) in this department this season. I've always been a fan of David Silva, and to see him in Eastlands rather than wearing the ugly United kit irritates me. Same thing with Torres till this day, both of whom United were supposedly coveting for so long. Other names to have been strongly linked include Mesut Ozil, Stefan Defour and Wesley Sneijder, all of whom would have been killer acquisitions in my opinion. They're all staying put though, apparently. Still, we bagged Chris Smalling and Javier Hernandez, who had a very impressive World Cup and has scored three goals (I think) since returning from the land of the vuvuzela.

I like Hernandez, and watched him very closely while playing for Mexico. His pace and movement is top notch, though one of his goals did come against an admittedly piss-poor France side just asking to be slaughtered. His lobbed goal against the MLS All-Star side also displays his composure and technique, and with Ferguson suggesting a partnership with Rooney, prospects look good. Of course, I said the same for the Rooney-Berbatov partnership (which I still believe in, if only Ferguson would use the Bulgarian better), so we'll see. I could be wrong, as I've been in the past! I wonder what this means for Michael Owen and (more importantly) Federico Macheda though. As it stands, I'm thinking that Rooney is the obvious first choice, with Berbatov and Hernandez vying for a starting place (if there is room at all for a second striker), with Macheda being next in line. Lost Ben Foster, who I think was just nervy and unlucky, but Van Der Sar at 40 is still miles ahead of him anyway.

The rest of the team looks solid, back to front. If Ferdinand stays fit, Rio and United are looking at a backline that includes the ever-imposing Vidic (who will get sent off against Liverpool), the underrated O'Shea, new kid Smalling, veteran Gary Neville and one of the world's best left backs, Patrice Evra. Ashley Cole and a few others might contend that, but I still stand by Evra, French fiasco aside. I'm also a huge fan of the Da Silva twins, and hope that they both get more time this season, even as wingers perhaps. Not big on Wes Brown though. Scholes and Giggs will be used sparingly again, but last season has shown that they've still got the touch, if not the legs to change a game. Park Ji-Sung, Fletcher and Valencia always impress, and Nani is still an enigma to me, choosing to be Cristiano Ronaldo one week and Luke Chadwick another. Wonder about Possebon's chances. Gibson will get more time as well, though Carrick's future looks bleak to me. Hopefully Anderson will stay out of car wrecks and Hargreaves eventually gets off the doctor's table.

Here's what I'm looking at for the 25-man League Squad, off the top of my head:
Van Der Sar, Kuszczak, Neville, O'Shea, Brown, Evra, Ferdinand, Vidic, Scholes, Giggs, Fletcher, Nani, Park, Valencia, Gibson, Carrick, Anderson, Rooney, Berbatov, Hernandez, Owen, Hargreaves (22)

U21 players include: Rafael, Fabio, Obertan, Smalling, Macheda, Welbeck, De Laet, Possebon

What about the rest? Liverpool got Joe Cole, which is fantastic news for them, even if Ferguson said no one available "excited him". I've always been a huge fan of him, and I think him, Jovanonic and Hodgon will give the Kop a much better season than the last, though that's admittedly easy. Fabregas staying at Arsenal and the addition of Chamakh is also fantastic news for the Gunners though they're still threadbare at the back with less-than-inspiring goalkeepers. Why not move for Akinfeev or something? Man City will collapse, I hope, Milner or no. I like Villa, Everton and Spurs so I'm hoping they all have great seasons, and they look like they have the personnel to do it. Young, Agbonlahor, Kranjcar, Modric, Sandro, Cahill, Arteta, Pienaar and Rodwell are all fantastic players, all of whom I'd love to see playing for United. Chelsea are of course the probably favorites again, but losing Ballack, Deco, Cole and Belletti for Benayoun and maybe Ramires is tough, though the four of them aren't nearly as important as, say, a returning Michael Essien.

I'm optimistic for the future in terms of what it has in store for United, though. I'm picking Chelsea to lift the Shield at Wembley, but hoping that United finish top of the league, with the Blues nowhere close. In a perfect world, Villa, Spurs and Everton would complete the top four, but I see the "order" restored one way or another, though one of the three have a decent chance of pipping Arsenal or Liverpool (if they implode). And there's Man City. I'm personally happy to see Newcastle back, but here's to hoping an opening day defeat!

Community Shield prediction: Chelsea 2-1 Man Utd

E-Mail

Friend of a friend asked about school. As I wrote the reply, I realized it was even more awesome than I remember.


Hi there,

Fang Xun mentioned you'd contact me, heh.

Going to New York is actually rather common, and an avenue taken by many who can afford it. Any student of UB-SIM (or SIM-UB, depending on who you're asking) is eligible to go to the New York campus after fulfilling a few simple criteria, almost always in August for the Fall Semester.

Here's where I should explain the semester system.

Spring Semester: January - April

Summer Semester: May - August

Fall Semester: September - December

So you can see, school holidays are almost non-existent; typically the longest "break" period is in late December (exams are sometimes during the first week of December) to early or mid January.

Back to going to New York proper, as I said, a lot of people do that, and almost everyone enjoys it immensely. Most go for two semesters (Fall and Spring) or just one, though under most circumstances, SIM students studying abroad (in New York) are a rarity since the "Summer Semester" is usually vacation time for the yanks.

I was supposed to go in January 2010, for the Spring Semester, but because of the, uh, tense political climate now, my being a male Muslim with military training played against me and I was denied entry to the States. People are fuming about it to this day.

The single degree program is nine semesters long (three years) for most students. If you fail or drop anything (or are a Business major taking up specific concentrations/courses) it might be a little longer. A double major or double degree (they're different) program might take longer than that - up to a year perhaps. That being said, you can finish a double major course in three years or less as well.

A Level students are eligible to certain waivers in terms of course and subject obligations, and most of them are pretty straightforward. Any A-Level graduate who has passed any of Biology, Chemistry, Literature, C Maths or has scored at least a B for Economics will be waived at least a few modules, and that saves you a pretty nice amount of money since the billing is calculated per-credit.

I've actually graduated already, at more or less the same time as Fang Xun, and if this E-Mail sounds like I'm selling the institution, know that it's with good reason. I've said before, and will gladly say again, that "screwing up my A levels and ending up in UB is the best thing that's happened to me." It's made me into the person I am today, more than anything else has, and I am sincerely glad I made that choice.

The thing you'll hear most is how the "American system" affords everyone a rich and different atmosphere compared to the more "traditional" institutes, and I firmly believe and am thankful for that. Especially in the Communications degree program, everyone is allowed and encouraged to be vocal, develop interpersonal skills, develop a responsible work ethic and work in groups. The teachers rarely - if ever - spoon-feed you information; rather everyone is expected to be proactive and take the initiative. This is actually a big change for almost everyone, and more often than not a culture shock. But I feel it adds a lot to your character and the way you're able to function singly or in a team.

Lesson structure is diverse, depending entirely on the instructor (many of whom are from UB itself, or an associated institution). Some are rather straightforward Quiz-Paper-Exam kinds of subjects, but there are some modules with no exams at all, and your grade is assessed entirely on a bunch of presentations or even class participation. In almost every case, the exam(s) isn't worth more than 30% of the final grade anyway, and I've taken a class where the exam was worth only 7% of the final score. Yep, seven. Everyone is also supposed to take courses in writing, history, music, psychology, sociology, philosophy, and science. Most of them are highly enjoyable.

Of course, it isn't an easy ride all the way. As Fang Xun (I sometimes call her Sally) will attest to, some of the modules and/or instructors are frustratingly difficult.

The biggest worry (other than cost) that most people will have is the fact that "a degree from SIM won't be recognized". From my personal experience, that's kind of rubbish. I can easily name a heckload of UB graduates who are now working in very reputable companies in the fields of media, journalism, advertising, PR, events, and just about everything else. Besides, the degree doesn't even say SIM!

The people you meet in UB (if you do decide to enroll) will come from all walks of life. I've taken classes and done projects with fresh O Level students (like Fang Xun), NUS degree holders, working mothers, part-time bartenders, Singapore Idol contestants, models, athletes, dancers, writers, artists, locals, foreigners from Malaysia, Indonesia, Russia, Austria, and everything in between. Of course, you'll also run into drama-queens, back-stabbers, freeloaders and general buffoons, but then you find them everywhere.

Many who have graduated from UB have wonderful things to say about their time there, and often with good reason. "I miss UB" is something I hear a lot nowadays.

If you're seriously considering doing a degree there, I'd say you're on the verge of making a great decision.

Regards,

Naz

Dice rolled, ball passed. Your move.

Not gonna let me let myself down anymore.

Walk in the Park

Am still sore and aching from close to no rest since football on Friday. Now hungry too. Keep losing track of thoughts and things, it annoys me. Need my hours filled, but need some time to just slow down too. A paradox, and an irritating one.

But I'm irritable.