Revenge of the Eh...

Ok, I'll say it outright before I get too deep with this review.

I expected to be disappointed by this Transformers film. I entered the theatre with the same mindset I had when going to watch Fantastic Four, and those closest to me will know that while Jessica Alba will make me drool, Megan Fox doesn't really do it for me. Now, let's get started.

Well, the first (second) movie was stellar for me, and for many neutrals as well. This franchise, as you can tell from the title, suffers the same fate as most Hollywood blockbusters, that of crappy sequel syndrome. However, Michael Bay's second attempt at generating many millions of dollars surrounding animated toys isn't altogether craptacular, and I feel there were some good points to take home.

Firstly, I have said many times that the dialogue between Prime and megatron from the previous movie almost made me jizz, because it's almost the same as the "original" showdown exchange they had in the awesome animated movie. You can watch that here (I love that song). Also take note of the way Prime arrives and pwns just about every Decepticon there, and I'll say that there are aspects of this very fight scene that were repeated here, down to the slow-motion floating-in-the-air shooting. I'm a sucker for homages like that, and there is another part in RotF that reminded me of the animated film. Hint: Sad.

One of my biggest worries coming into this movie was Soundwave. Easily my favorite Transformer growing up. If anyone gets me an old-school Soundwave replica, with transforming tapes, I will <3 you so hard. The fact that Soundwave was omitted from the first movie was a minor disappointment, and when I heard he was going to be in this one I had mixed feelings, at best. On the one hand, there was a high chance he'd be totally ruined, but on the other hand it was like finally seeing Gambit on the big screen. Similar results; I'm not displeased with it and the fact that Ravage emerged from Soundwave was a definite plus point. Fans of the older Transformers series, if you remember the little tapes, you might like this.

Err, Linkin park, yay?

Alright. Someone, please tell me what persuaded the film-makers to turn RotF into a film that evoked more laughter than Meet the Spartans? Don't get me wrong, Moulmein High is funnier than Meet the Spartans, but I'm not very happy with the obvious effort that was put into the gags and jokes in the film, when so many other thigns could have been improved. That being said, there are genuinely funny bits.

A big part of the hype for this sequel was the debut and appearance of one Devastator. The Constructicons tradiaitonally have always been an epic part of the Decepticons, and anyone who watched the trailers for RotF would have noted the huge (and that's saying alot) robots that were smashing things all over. Sadly, I have to make it known that the Devastator portrayed here is nowhere near as, well, devastating, as he used to be. You know how Iceman is supposed to be one of the most powerful mutants out there, but in the X-Men films he's a useless punk? Kinda.

Effects are breath-taking at times, as expected, but all the same there are periods where you feel that it's just random mangling of steel and sparks and explosions on screen. Hugo Weaving and the other voice actors do a good job as far as I'm concerned, except for the three or so that, well... I didn't know Autobots speak in jive.

Arcee gets shot in the face! Starscream gets alot more screen time. Wheelie? Really?

The last thing that really put me off I guess is the whole... plot. I want to keep this spoiler free, but when the audience is told of who "the Fallen" are/is (hint), I don't think you'll like it much more than I did. It isn't Megatron. I know right.

Final say? I am disappointed by the film, but I was expecting to be disappointed. As a Transformers fanboy, I was really happy to see Arcee, Soundwave and Starscream (again) as well as more homages to the aniamted film. Negatives include the weak plot and questionable humor (including two separate testicle jokes).

Nothing after credits, get out when the names roll.