Loose Change

Only people you should change for are those who love you the way you are.

That's what I've always believed.

And in the past few months I can count on one hand the number of times I've dropped the F-bomb.

Made the effort to be around people I wouldn't normally entertain, or layan.

Stopped speeding.

Spending money on Bird Park in the rain. Spontaneous Night Safari adventure.

Braving the weather in less-than-convenient attire.

Going to Jurong at least once a week, not for football.

Went on shopping trips and looked for obscure books.

Started to love Class 95. And now can't listen to it.

Even grew out the hair. She said she liked the hair longer.

Not good enough though.

It's a funny thing that, change.

Extreme cliché to call it the constant, when some people never do, but yet there it is.

Staring at many of us in the face, while other race towards it, purposefully or otherwise. Sometimes things change when you least expect them, sometimes not the way you want or hope or pray for. Sometimes people change. Situations change. Times and places change.

Someone once said to me, as I sat there with her under the stars by the water,

"You're not the Naz I knew from before."

Maybe she's right, or maybe people never really change, it's just that you realize the way they really are, and the penny drops as that understanding hits.

Of course, maybe it's all nothing, since I'm often accused of over-thinking things, of being over-analytical and looking too deeply into things.

Perhaps it's all just nonsense, ramblings, garbage, from someone missing sleep and food. And you.

But right now I'd give anything to have things the way there were when all I worried about was what the next colored flower would be. Or the best way to get home from Serangoon by bus.