Sentimentality

So I've been thinking of things I miss, the past few days.

Not just the standard "Oh I miss my girlfriend so much even though she's 5 minutes away" kind of thing either (But I do miss you, baby!)...

So, as people say, change is inevitable. People change. Things change. The only thing for certain is that nothing is for certain. Yadda yadda yadda.

But sometimes things change, or just...go away... and you never really get a chance to wonder why, or how, or what it would be like otherwise; most of us just take it for granted, "Oh yeah, it would have happened eventally" etc etc.

Next week I get back my Pink IC. After a long two years and four months (yes, not 2 years), I'll finally get a hold of the Identity Card where I look like some sort of freak. Well, more freakish I guess. Centre parting and all. Yeesh. Big part of me's happy, of course, who wouldn't be? Finally off and out of the Army, the place where young men are underpaid and overworked. Where we rush to wait and wait to rush. But I'll miss it I guess. Good memories too, I can't deny. (Quote from an army friend of mine who's still stuck there: You sick shit)

I'm on MSN now, wondering, what the hell happened to ICQ? It used to be the thing to be on. Everyone going "Do you use ICQ? Really? Me too!". With that little annoying little teletubby sound everytime someone messages you, and the tendency to receive dozens of mass messages asking you to "Update pls" or "Pass this around to help this homeless sick kid". Well, I guess I dont miss it that much after all.

I switch on the TV, and there is crap being broadcast. I'm not talking about the Wildboys being pooped on (that's hilarious) but idiotic wastes of time like ABC DJ and other sorry excuses for programming. Thank God I have cable. Oh wait, there' nothing on on cable either. Ugh. I'm sorry, if a Mediacorp executive is reading my Blog, for some reason, "Wake up your F*&king idea!" (there's another thing I'll miss about the Army). When's the last time we had good local ENGLISH shows to watch? Well, at least bearable ones? First few seasons of Growing Up? Under One Roof? PCK before he became half Singlish? Anyone recall that sitcom about the shopping centre called "Can I Help You?", that wasn't too bad.

Well, I've always hated ranting so - no. I lie. I'll go on, just one more thing.

Everytime I visit my grandma every fortnight or so I feel sad. I love her so so much, she's so important to me, and I'd do almost anything for her. But I feel for her, how alone she is. I remember tha day in February 2005, that night when I held her hand in the hospital as she tried so hard not to cry. I miss my grandpa. I miss how funny and old-fashioned he was, I miss how he insisted in thrusting 2 dollars into our hands when we were little, I miss his silly hat and big glasses. I miss how she used to fuss over him in the end, and how I took everything for granted before.

But I bet she misses him more.