I Wonder

I was looking for the charger for my electric shaver. Then I realised it's missing. And I have no idea where I put it, it was just here one day, and gone the next. And no matter how hard I looked, lifting and opening and turning and searching every part of my room and its periphery, I could not find it. Not at all.

We lose many things over time, some thing more obvious and more hard-hitting than other trivial objects. I lost my wallet when I was eleven. True, only had two bucks in it, but it was pretty significant to me. I already talked about losing my grandpa. I lost my farecard once. I lost a rather large head-dress the day before a presentation once in school. I lost my iPod Shuffle stupidly.

Someone told me recently that I've changed from the guy that everyone knew and saw a couple of years ago. At first, I thought that was utter rubbish. I'm still Naz. I'm still me, the way I've always been and will always be.

Then I started thinking, maybe they we're right.

Who am I now? I look back at the way things were and I realise how I was wrong. But I can't really go back to the way everything was back then. It's lost, it's not me anymore.

Some might argue that I'd be doing myself a favour by going back. So I tried listening.

Alot of good that got me.

Everyone wishes for hindsight. I'm no different. Regret is not the predominant emotion that I'd like when looking back over the years. But loss is something everyone needs to accept anyway.