Different People

"But I'm a million different people from one day to the next..."

I love that song. Lately, I've been talking to some people I either hadn't talked to in a long time, or at all before. The frequency of talking to some others who I have been talking to regularly have also lessened, and for that I am really sad about.

A long time ago, a young and lonely kid called a girl on her birthday, telling her how he felt for her. Truth be told, the words he uttered were probably a little melodramatic, but they grew into truth eventually. They saw the world evolve around them, and each other grow into different people. The problem was that they remained in love with what they were before and not who they became and continued to become.

It's a common situation, listening to some people talk, even if it sounds basic. But why?

We all have our ideals, of course. That's a given. But what I guess many don't see is that we also often form our own idealized perceptions of certain people. I'm guilty of that. Especially so. While perspective is important, it's also at least equally important to be able to recognize that things aren't what you want them to be, but what they are. People change.

Not totally, though.

More than one person has told (warned?) me about how they're apparently different people as friends and as partners or significant others. Really? Why?

If your partner is your friend - even your best friend - then why is this so?

To me, if that happens you got to look at the situation you're in. If you're different people with different people, perhaps you should ask yourself which person you prefer. We're all in control of our destinies, even if that locus of control sometimes seems to be in the hands of other parties like our folks, employers or the like. You can choose who you want to be, can't you? What's the point in making any decisions if you can't?

When the kid was with the girl he grew up with, he started growing up himself. After some time, he realized that there was more to life than being a quiet boy that played chess and Fifa 99 all day over a crappy dial up modem. He could meet friends who weren't the girl's, and that he actually wanted to be someone else. The girl was, and still is, a fantastic person. They were happy, truly. But he wasn't him.

It's hard being who you're not, tiring and trying.

Eventually, things got out of hand, and the weariness and other things combined to break them apart. Good choice? Right now it seems that way, though the memories are still very much treasured.

So now the kid is a little older, hopefully somewhat wiser. He's become someone else, as have we all. Right now that kid and the girl have become people they never thought they'd become, I'm sure. Having seen, said and done things that neither expected even a few years ago, one wonders what the future holds.