Late Night

Long time ago, someone very dear to me said that she couldn't bear to listen to the Love Songs show weeknights on Class 95 because it was too painful. Back then, I nodded, saying I understood. I didn't, not until today. Don't think I can listen to a lot of things any more, not for a while yet. This isn't a love song, just something I wrote even before what most recently happened. Still apt, I guess, and like before, if you've been paying attention, there's more.

I miss you.
Waking up to a funny message or call.
Laughing about things and people and life and stuff.
The long talks we used to have everyday about everything.
Always I've thought things were good, great, fantastic.
The little things we always believed in.
Flowers, that blue one I got you that you liked and hid.
Late night walks and hugs and secrets.

I miss you.
Going to sleep with you on my mind.
Wondering if you felt the same way.
Time and place, you said, it was wrong.
Always seems to be wrong, but can't we make it right?
The big things that I said we could get around.
Maybe all I have left are the messages and memories.
It's just space you want, you say, but it feels like you're drifting away.

I miss you.
Getting tired of nothing you do.
Holding on when things seem bleak.
Not going home just to spend another minute with you.
Always I've been true, honest, gutsy, here.
Everything I feel I've poured out to you.
Nothing I do seems to work.
Alone again tonight.

I miss you.
Even though I know I shouldn't, shouldn't say it.
It's difficult not to, when I feel it.
It's true I was stupid, breaking my rules.
Always thought I could give you what you deserved.
Understood what that meant, what you wanted.
Until recently, I thought that you'd give this, give us a chance.
You stole my heart, broke it, still have it. Always will.