Friends

Not too many sneaky messages in this one, sorry.

I've never been Mr. Popular. Not bitter about it, of course. On the contrary, I've always thought that having a few really good friends was infinitely more rewarding than boasting a congregation of people who claim to be a friend. Looking back, I think I've had my fair share of both, and probably been both to a few people as well.

One of my oldest friends, someone I've known for about twelve years now, only recently spoke about this very same thing to me. Got me thinking, maybe overthinking, but then you're already reading this so you kind of want to know already. I'll go through a few people who I've thought about recently, in no particular order. Maybe you know these people, and maybe not. Maybe I don't, either.

There's someone who I shared everything with, gave everything to. Was really my best friend for the longest time, even if I always knew that I was not that same friend to her, though I was something admittedly "more". I'd still count her as someone I care about, a friend who I would make the effort to help.

Another I met early on in my university life, someone who seemed quiet and low-profile, though nowadays that's hardly a label that could be used. Most times I can't bring myself to bother about this one fellow, and sometimes I find the feeling mutual. Perhaps it's the alcohol.

Someone who I've only really known for less than a year, it seems, though in that time she has shown that she would do so much to maintain what we have, and often times I catch myself taking her for granted. She even gave me a Coke can from Korea, not to mention burgers on my birthday.

A girl I met when I was fourteen or so, so very long ago. A friend of a relative, as well as a friend of someone I fancied. Broke off the ties to both, though the two of us remained sporadic chat-buddies for the better part of a decade, before something unexpectedly blossomed. I probably didn't treat this person as well as she deserved, in the end, though others say otherwise.

One fellow who tends to be present at gatherings that I frequent, though my distaste for him is fairly obvious, and he remains one of the few people I have literally screamed at in public. He calls me obnoxious, and I call him a total idiot. That he's a vandal doesn't help, and I'm not too perturbed if I never see him again.

A person who I cared about, more than anything, for the longest time. Something and nothing happened at the same time, before thousands of miles came between us. Now that the miles are gone it seems like the distance is even greater, and I surprise myself in not being sure how I feel about that.

Somebody I've thought very highly of for a while until recently, having found that he went out of his way to exclude someone else from a gathering of school-mates, hiding that fact from the others. And this after I had gone out of my way not to make him feel any more down. I'm not sure what he is to me right now.

And another I met the first day in Secondary School, before moving on the Junior College together. As the years went by, things have changed, and while our paths have diverged we've always remained close. I think it's fair to say, however, that I haven't made as much effort as he has. I want to change that.

The one who suggested the comics. Don't always agree on everything, including the Apple/Windows debate, but I've never thought of him as anything but a friend, and a good one. Loud, but in a good way. That he is at least as in love with Jessica Alba as I am makes it easier to manage, of course.

Someone who should stick to goalkeeping, unfortunately a Liverpool fan, though that allows me to ridicule him incessantly. Shared countless trips home together, and he actually apologized to me about not being a good friend. It should be the other way around. Something else I need, and want, to fix.

The one who you can hear swearing from the next room. Haven't always seen eye-to-eye, and I recently found that there were a few things about me she couldn't really stand. I hope I'm able to mend those bridges, though the cat-food looks like a good sign. Thanks.

The person who gets bullied and teased about what people say are her small eyes. Not even sure how we got close, though it looks like it will be a while before I can spend time with her again, due to school and work. Sometimes I feel that I don't know too much about her, and I wonder if it's because I haven't bothered. She won't say it, but I think that's the case.

Two long-haired girls who don't talk to me anymore. Honestly, I don't even care, and I wonder why I tried so hard. Good riddance.

Somebody who shares a passion for football and video games, though his insistence on singing Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber drives me up the wall. Still, somebody who I can count on for almost anything, and hopefully that's mutual.

An individual who I've known yet not known until recently. Unsure about what I feel about it, because so many habits the person has annoys me to the point of wanting to throttle her. She thinks I'm insincere and boring, and I don't know what I think of her. Okayyy.

The one with the scary smile, he's offered to try and help with the job-hunting, though I'm happy I was able to get one without the assistance. Much appreciated, however, and though we don't see each other or talk nearly as much as before, I'd call him a good friend.

Someone who I bothered to help out, talk to everyday, when she used to cry all the time because of two foreign guys in school. She said she wouldn't be stupid, and that promise lasted a few minutes. Good achievement, all things considered, and it's not even surprising anymore how it went from wiping away her tears to clicking "Hide" on Facebook. I tried.

The girl who insists on smacking me every chance she gets, though the arrangements (hugs for smacks) has lessened it somewhat. She's not everyone's favorite, but one of mine.

The girl who I only found after knowing her for years. She looks for On the Origin of Species at the bookstore, shares a passion for good music and TV, and squeals when confronted with dogs or cats. I find myself wondering what took me so long to get to where we are. Don't want to let that, or her, go.

There's more, of course. Of the good and the bad. I'm not even going to pretend that I'm in everyone's good books, and that's exactly my point.

Sometimes it's important to think about who it is you want to bother with, and then bother.