Eh...

So I should be going through what I should be trying to say during my presentation tomorrow. I also should have more money, new glasses, a cleaner laptop and a kitten (preferably two), but we don't always get what we want.

My arms ache, for some reason, and that's before finishing the two games of bowling that proved how bad I am at hurling heavy oiled balls down shiny oiled wooden lanes. My nose has seen it fit to discharge fluid in its most subtl manners over the past few days, and it feels like there is a cactus in my throat. I'm fine.

I've never been comfortable speaking in public. I remember back in Primary school, being asked to give a Teacher's Day "speech" to the whole school during one of the pathetic celebratory days back in the day. So there I was, little Chinese-faced Naz, plodding towards the mic (which I had plugged in myself anyway), wearing my pressed uniform and red elastic tie, taking a deep breath before speaking. In Malay.

The hall erupted in laughter.

I admit, though, I would have laughed too. I won't say that that turned me from the path of public speaking - there was another event a few years later as well - but perhaps I never really forgot it. Tomorrow marks the first presentation of this semester, though it's just one of many, and so far, in general, I've done more than alright. Except one horrendous attempt in an earlier semester.

But I'm not sure why... tomorrow's seems different. I always have this nervousness before any occasion where I know I will have to address a group larger than, say, 10, but again, there is a different feel to this feeling. Maybe it's those around me. Maybe it's me not being as motivated as I would have liked. Maybe it's the fact that I have barely decided on what to say (though that's worked too...). Maybe it was the cheeseburger.

Oh well. It should be ok.

Should.