The Amazing Race

You are the last team to arrive.

But you're not eliminated, just discriminated. This isn't some reality show where groups of people try to get from Madagascar to Manhattan before the other teams. It's the other kind of race.

Nearly everyone has had their own experiences with the issue of racism. Some more than others. I'm technically an Indian, though I speak Malay and look fairly Chinese-y. Multiracial-man, I am. I won't begin telling you how many times some random person has babbled to me in Cantonese or Mandarin or Hokkein when I was younger and fairer.

Popular stand-up comedians Russel Peters and Carlos Mencia often speak of the various aspects of racism. Peters is much more tolerated by Mencia in general though, mainly because he doesn't have to scream and swear to get his point across. Others simply say it's becuase everyone hates the Mexican. Carlos Mencia is Honduran, of course.

When I was in my early teens, my class used to look forward to Physical Education (PE) lessons every week. Rather than boring runs and sit-ups, we usually managed to persuade our teacher to let us play soccer or basketball or even floorball.

"OK class, everyone here? Good. Today, we'll work on our running..."

(Groans and protests)

"OK, fine. Soccer then."

(Cheers)

"Right, teams. Chinese here, the rest, here. I'll play against the Chinese team.)

And the teacher was a Chinese dude. But it was all in good fun, and more often than not, the typical male Malay teenager is a better player than the average Chinese one at football. Basketball's a different matter, of course.

Alot of us are also familiar with the term manjan. For those who aren't, the term is kind of slang for Chinese folk. Some go as far as to extend its reach to encompass Koreans and Japanese too. Loosely translated, it can be interpreted as "yellow-skin", so you might understand how that goes.

Ah, the follies of youth. Where we had manjan vs non-manjan football games with regularity. Where curses of "You stupid manjan!" were as common as "Good afternoon, Sir."

Probably more common, come to think of it.

But I have my fair share of manj - err, I mean, Chinese friends, I think. I actually only know one other Malay guy in school actually. And yes, in case you protest, I'm Indian, but that's besides the point.

Why do people put so much emphasis on race? It's an interesting question. My father once asked me about the demographics of my class in Junior College, and when I revealed to him that there were only three "Malay" students (myself included), he promptly said "Good. You can study better."

Eh?

My dear late grandfather gave me a few words of wisdom as I was to be enlisted into the Army in 2004:

"Be careful in the army. Watch out for all the bad Chinese gangsters."

Right...

Most of us can take the odd racist joke or two. I've called a few people "damn yanks" or "bloody Aussies" and a few others. We all know racist jokes. Let's face it, racist jokes are usually the funniest kind. Besides sexually explicit ones.

Q: How do you stop a (insert random nationality here, eg Indian) from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Q: How do you stop a Pakistani tank?
A: Shoot the people pushing it.

But enough of that. Most of us also have our own personal perceptions and stereotypes when dealing with members of different (or even the same) race. Only recently I was complaining to a group of friends (mostly Chinese) about the tendencies of Chinese youths to blast techno-crap from their neon Nokias, apparently basking in their ignorance of headphones. Many people in Singapore avoid certain areas at certain times because of the make-up of the crowd and the ensuing aromas that accompany it.

A friend of mine was asked a question a few days ago, and when he got it right he was to be awarded a prize. He got to choose between a cute teddy bear and a cap, and to the dismay of the females chittering amongst themselves, he chose the bear. Would you blame him, when he wears a turban? Another one of my Sikh friends once got called up in school for having long hair.

Even movies and other facets of the entertainment industry have had their own take on racism. Some more light-hearted than others, of course. If you can, catch Undercover Brother. It's better than Austin Powers. Russia has banned every single James Bond movie that I'm aware of. The Malaysian public was outraged by the portrayal of their homeland in Entrapment. Pocahontas. Harold and Kumar. The whole hip-hop genre.

I also remember the days of me being a regular patron of Yahoo pool. I had quite a run of form, and I only stopped because of a few aggravating experiences.

"ASL?"

"Oh, 16 M"

"Cool, 17 M NC"

"OK."

(After the game)

"GG man."

"Yeah, you too. Another one?"

"Sure, what's your name?"

"Naz."

"Naz?"

"Yerp, Nazreen."

"That doesn't sound very Christian."

"Well, it isn't."

"Jew?"

"No... I'm actually Muslim, Singaporean."

At which point the conversation either drifts to "Singapore? That's somewhere in Hong Kong right?" Or the alternative, which is even worse.

"Muslim? Fuck you, you fucking terrorist, burn in hell you asshole."

Stupid yanks. (Sorry!)

Are you a racist? It's an interesting question. I might feel that deep down, most of us are, to a certain extent. It's only natural, in a way. Birds of a feather, you know?

Of course, I've not really addressed the issue of racism, merely babbled again, as usual.

I'm out. And I'm Indian.