Hey Ladies

So this has been on my mind for quite some time. Something that most guys and girls do in public places. Riddle me this, ladies, what do you do in there?

I am, of course, speaking of public restrooms. The fact that you ladies spend an eternity in there while us guys walk in and out. I mean, you have to queue for crying out loud. What's taking so long? I do realise that some ladies are a little more "high-maintenance" than others, with them having to redo their eyeliner, foundation, etc etc every chance they get, but this still borders on the ridiculous.

Take guys, for instance. We find the lil' boys room, walk in, whip it out, take a whizz, zip up, (usually) flush, wash up, f*ck off. But our female counterparts seem to use the restrooms for other matters. It's a mystery I feel will never be solved. Especially when I try asking a girl what took them.

"Can't you see the queue?"

Indeed, I can. Which is why I'm asking you in the first place! The presence of a queue obviously means that there's more than one female in there who's taking her time. And this phenomenon looks like a global one. Certain towns in America have made it commonplace to install at least twice as many female restrooms as male ones in high-traffic areas, in an attempt to ease the congestion.

Yes, congestion, because that's what it is, a human gridlock. Reminds me of a petrol station giving away free car-washes, you see all sorts of models and makes crawling towards to scene, end-to-end. The slim and sporty ones, the old and vintage ones, the new and funky ones, the obviously too-big-to-attract-anything-but-an-eww ones too.

So I'm begging for someone to enlighten me here, what is it that causes the ladies' room to be the hot-spot in the majority of public places. And don't give me the crap about the queue. That's as useful as a c*ck-flavoured lollipop.