Here's Your Sign

So, I haven't written anything here for a long time, it seems, other than the odd one-liner here and there at the right side of your screen. I might attribute the lack of updates to studying for exams, but most of you know me better than that.

Today my rant will be about stupid people.

The "here's your sign" comedy routine has been said to have originated from comedian Bill Engvall, though I think that most people familiar with it might have heard it during a Jeff Foxworthy skit of some sort, maybe. The ideology behind the "sign" routine is simple, really.

Stupid people should be made to wear signs, so the rest of the world will know beforehand that they are dealing with such tards.

Now, I don't claim to be the smartest feller in the world, I don't even think I'm the smartest person among the people reading this or anything, but stupid people do annoy the hell out of me. I have a feeling I mentioned this before, so I'll not repeat the phone conversation about the use of foldable beds I once had with an outdoor retailer.

Anyway, I was skimming through our wonderfully named local tabloid The New Paper a couple of days ago and I found a few very "interesting" articles. The bulk of the people who should have the afore-mentioned signs stapled to their heads seem to work in or around the American airline industry.

Case 1: Young couple gets thrown out of an airplane because male had his head on female's lap before takeoff.

Case 2: Undercover US Air Marshall throws someone out of the bathroom becuase he enters less than a half-hour before landing. Rest of flight is made to have their hands on their heads for the remainder of the flight.

Case 3: Jewish man is thrown off a flight because he prays before takeoff.

Case 4: Young white mother is admonished for breast-feeding her child.

ROFLZOMGWTFLBBQLOL

To the (few) Americans reading this, are you all insane, paranoid or just stupid?

Forgive the question, I probably get the impression from your leader.

Anyway, other instances from the same paper that day itself include the story of a young Malaysian man who drowned after trying to save 2 people. Now, that might not seem too stupid, considering he'd also save 8 others before meeting his demise, but the whole situation is. You see, the "incident" happened at some sort of Civil Defence sort of thing, a training exercise as far as I can tell.

Ten people, needing to be saved, during training? And it falls upon the shoulders of one man to do it? He's not Superman, my dear northern neighbours. He's not even Lat. The concept of lifeguards, instructors and/or safe training escapes you, I gather.

Of course, the same country also built a bridge to nowhere recently, so I guess it's only natural. For those who don't know, Malaysia and Singapore are connected by two causeways, the first being the aptly-named "Causeway" and the second link equally originally titled, "The Second Link". Apparently Malaysian authorities took it upon themselves to create a third bridge of sorts, perhaps aiming to replace the "evil" Causeway which apparently hinders economic growth of the country depicted in such blockbusters as Entrapment and Zoolander (I really enjoyed Zoolander).

So they built a bridge. And then asked that Singapore comply and join it up from our end.

scoff
–verb (used without object)
1.
to speak derisively; mock; jeer (often fol. by at): If you can't do any better, don't scoff. Their efforts toward a peaceful settlement are not to be scoffed at. –verb (used with object)
2.
to mock at; deride. –noun
3.
an expression of mockery, derision, doubt, or derisive scorn; jeer.
4.
an object of mockery or derision

That's from dictionary.reference.com, very useful.

Suffice to say, they now have a half-bridge.

So I'll leave you pondering the profoundness of my ranting with this simple quote from my brother.

"Wow, dogs eat meat?"