In Short

Lately it seems like I've been watching a load of movies; here's my take on a few.

The Golden Compass

Imagine, if you will, a cross between Lord of the Rings, the Chronicles of Narnia, Star Wars and Dr. Dolittle. That's essentially what you get here, minus Legolas, lightsabres and a black man. You do, however, get a small person with a shiny golden artifact, mysterious parentage and talking bears. A thin plot peppered by flat acting from some of the supporting cast doesn't help matters either, and lines like "You'd better hope they're on your side if they choose to attack" really spoil what might have been a somewhat decent movie. Cheap thrills of crying out "Dooku" and "Saruman" perhaps salvaged the experience.

3/5 from me, having risen from 2 just for the "I am your mother." "Noooooo!" exchange.

Hitman

I'm a huge fanboy of the series from Eidos. Every other game glorifies killing, but Hitman makes it stylish and innovative. In no other game can a skinny bald dude be so cool. The movie, sadly, takes every element of what makes the game awesome and rubbishes them all. Firstly, 47 talks. Alot. And he jokes. And flirts. No fibre wire. A single instance of disguising as a bystander. A long, drawn-out sword-fight with three other hitmen. Need I go on? Again, a plot thinner than tissues serves little to detract from the fact that the absolute best candidate for 47, Jason Statham, is not in it.

Another 3/5.

The Tattooist

On of the best ever locally-made films. But that's only because it was co-produced by a foreign company and I don't really have that many things to compare it to. As a horror film, it's actually pretty lame. The biggest scare was a scene where a girl hurls a cup or vase at the lead actor, shattering it against the wall. Only because it was unexpected. The "ghost" or "demon" is about as scary as Katie Holmes' new hairdo, and the leading girl isn't anywhere near hot or cute. In fact, her nose looks like she's been in a few bar-room brawls. The other girl, which I previously mentioned, is actually better looking, but she acts about as badly as Dida.

2/5, and I'm being kind.

30 Days of Night

I Am Legend is the reason I am looking forward to Christmas this year. But I thought I'd settle for this vampire flick while waiting. And realised I would have been better off watching Buffy. The TV series, not the horrendous movie. At least that one had a hot Sarah Michelle Gellar.

2/5. Seriously.

The Mist

1408 was a total letdown. With that in mind, I watched this new Stephen King movie expecting more of the same. However, I've had three days to watch this, and I'm not done. There's still the better part of an hour left, and I can't see myself going through with it at this point in time. I'm not sure what that says. The visuals are cheesy though.

?/5

Ones to watch out for:

I Am Legend - I hope the reviews are wrong
Awake - Alba
Cloverfield - Looks killer
Jumper - I want to see this, surprisingly
Iron Man - The latest poster is so badass
AVP:Requiem - Fanboy
The Dark Knight - Ditto

Ones I am not keen on watching:

Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Christmas carols have killed any semblance of hype
Mr Magrioum's Wonder Emporium - Ripoff of Willy Wonka