Comic Relief #218

Comic Relief #217

She didn't want her blue pants anymore, Little Miss Headband.

A MINDEF is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Most Singaporean males will look at, think about, speak of, and otherwise see the above-mentioned acronym and shudder and swear. How many of us have given our time, our blood, sweat and tears to this faceless entity that claims to operate for the benefit of us all?

I'll take some time to speak briefly about certain people who strut around proudly proclaiming their antics in the arts of malingering and beign admitted into a mental institution. You're partially the reason the rest of us good folk have to work as hard as we do. Fucktards.

When I enlisted so very long ago, I was given a "low" medical status due to a shoulder condition, and I shared a bunk with people lacking a lung or sternum. Seriously. I will openly admit that I was fortunate in being assigned the relatively "easy" status I was, but I thought to myself that I'd repay it by doing my best when I was given whatever tasks I was. And I would say I did.

I've regretted many things in life. For a long time I regretted royally fucking up my studies when I was younger, before the army beckoned. Now, with life in University looking particularly rosy from amny aspects, I feel like I've been given a second, albeit expensive, chance to make things right.

And then the army calls us back.

Don't get me wrong. I actually think that National Service is a great benefit to a nation. It's just that the way things are run and done now, all the government is nuturing is a growing resentment (from the youths they've trained to fire rifles) towards those in power. The whole experience probably made me a better person, though it also introduced me to the happy world of swearing and cursing.

And what really sets me on edge is the fact that the army seems to revel in messing up your life.

I know a guy studying abroad now who was denied the opportunity to go overseas for a degree in Medicine because the army didn't let him leave the country, with the threat of exile looming large. I saw him every single fucking day. All he did was lounge around an air-conditioned office (with me) and make fun of sleepy logistics personnel (Travers, among them). Was that so important that they had to deny this guy a chance at realising a dream?

Today my brother was supposed to enlist. It's a day most guys never forget. So he made his way, with my parents who took days off from work, to go to the military settlement of Pulau Tekong, only to be told after several hours that his date was going to be pushed back due to him losing some weight. He was also instructed to make the journey from Pulau Tekong (via ferry to Pasir Ris) to CMPB (which is nowhere near Pasir Ris). All this so that someone could check a box in a form.

In an age where bluetooth and iPhones are as common as anything else, and where "our army" boasts technology that would put James T. Kirk to shame, was this really neccesary?

No, that was fucked up.

I, and a few others in school, have recently been told by our friends at MINDEF that our deferment applications have been rejected. Effectively, they are saying "Ha, fuck you and your education! You need to come back to camp, and pretend to get ready for the war that will happen anytime we push the button!"

WHAT BUTTON?!?

Do we really think that (a) there is a war that Singapore will be part of in the near future and (b) our stores of faulty weaponry and unmotivated individuals will even stand a chance against anything but a platoon of schoolgirls? Trust me, we'd be better off fighting with spears and shields than the spectacular crapfest that is the SAR-21.

So here I am trying to think of a way where I won't miss a full third of my semester because some lazy bastards behind a computer screen decided that anyone not in NUS/NTU/SMU isn't worth the trouble of accomodating for.

The Singaporean government has, for a long time, tried to promote a sense of patriotism and love for our country and all that our forefathers have fought and died for. I get that. But by fucking with a generation of pissed off youth, do you honestly think that anyone is going to bother giving a flying fuck about a country that has strived to hinder their own lives?

Fuck no.

I should go to Buffalo and not come back.

Comic Relief #216

Comic Relief #215

Naz gets pwned

Comic Relief #214

Comic Relief #213

Comic Relief #212

Comic Relief #211

Screw studying.

Comic Relief #210

BJ and Lance.

Comic Relief #209

I need to change my "question".

Comic Relief #208

And another debut. Angeline, this time in that Superman T-shirt or top that she seems to like (it's the first random photo of her I saw on Facebook).

Terminator, Salivation

Those closest to me would have heard the iconic theme from the Terminator series either from my phone or randomly hummed by me at inappropriate times. I just got back from watching the latest installment, and I must say, well, I have a few things to say.

Firstly, Christian Bale. Come on. Bruce Wayne and John Connor? How cool is that? Hugo Weaving is V, Megatron, Smith and Elrond, but Bale is quickly catching up. Gun Kata doesn't count, but a point to note: Chris Pine, who played James T. Kirk in the 2009 Star Trek movie, is reported to be playing the Green Lantern too. But back to Connor, who sounds surprisingly like Batman in "McG's" blockbuster. That and the fact that the movie also casts someone by the name of Moon Bloodgood is epic. She's not a bad looker either.

As far as the plot goes, it's always difficult to do any story involving time travel without tripping over your own feet. Back To The Future aside, the aren't too many which do a great job for whatever reason. This one works though, reclaiming the credibility of the series after James Cameron's classic sequel. To those of you who are watching this just to see Christian Bale, however, be prepared. He isn't on-screen for long periods of time in the first half of the movie, but it all plays out very nicely.

If you've never seen Terminator 3, you haven't missed much. Most people pretend it never happened anyway, like how Eric Bana was never Bruce Banner in the Hulk movie that never happened. The first and second Terminator movies, however, are essential in fully enjoying the experience of this one. The moment "Kyle Reese" was mentioned in the film, I was silently hopping with glee. Most of the classic lines from the earlier films are also revisited, and not stupidly, with a few more really cool movie moments thrown into the mix as well. Fans of the series might also be able to identify a few more things which carry over to the future/past/earlier movies. You know.

Interestingly, I have concluded that the only way to make a good Terminator movie is to feature a fight scene in a factory setting where at least one Terminator is destroyed.

Invariably, because of the nature of many movies these days and also because I am spectacularly anal about these things, there are a few things I either don't quite get or didn't agree with.

Firstly, it seems that for all the "cold, calculated logic" that the machines possess, they are quite adept at failing to get things done. Kill John Connor? Stop throwing him around, and just snap his neck! Kill someone else? Then why put him in a holding cell?

The ending, where one character sacrifices something for the life of another, could be seen coming the moment the little love angle played out as well.

Also, Katherine Brewster goes from being an assistant to a vet to a heart surgeon?

All in all though, I really don't have any heavy criticism for the movie, and a ton of praise. I wish there were a few more mentions and little snippets of things that would lead to the "future" that others have mentioned or alluded to in previous movies, but there are plenty already. It's definitely better than the third movie. Better than the second? No. But it's way better than, say, Wolverine. Better than Star Trek? No. For those who want to watch Salvation, don't go in expecting something akin to Terminator 2. It's a great movie, but not a mind-blowing epic like that one, and better than the third by leaps and bounds. Would I watch it again?

Yes.

Comic Relief #207

Comic Relief #206

And Anna's debut as well! Conversation with my mom. Epic.

Comic Relief #205

Seriously.

Comic Relief #204

Sarah's blunt logic pwns Naz

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Comic Relief #202

And yet another debut, here's introducing Syidah.

Comic Relief #201

Uh huh.

Comic Relief #200

Landmark 200th issue of Comic Relief, get it while stocks last!

Comic Relief #199

Debuts of Sarah and Ting Ting!

Comic Relief #198

To my favourite sister.

Make me more sandwiches.

Comic Relief #197

And Jeremy makes his debut!

Comic Relief #196

Again, Verena astounds and amazes.

Comic Relief #195

Another piece of family advice from Liz.

Comic Relief #194

Comic Relief #193

I hope she never gets to drive a bus.

Comic Relief #192

And the long awaited debut of Syikin/Maria comes at the expense of her beau.

Note: The weird cheeks were his idea.

Comic Relief #191

No comment.

Comic Relief #190

No Spock hairdo for Visha, sadly.

Comic Relief #189

Boys Against Men: Arsenal vs Man Utd

"Stupid Arsene Wenger."

That seems to be the general gripe of many Arsenal/anti-United fans this morning after watching Fergie's men decimate the boys from London in the most professional of manners. While I would find it hard to deny that I found more than my fair share of personal glee watching the home side crumble so magnificently, I would say that even as a United fan, that sentiment is harsh. Arsenal fans, indeed, all football fans, should instead pay tribute to the young team, going so far with a thin and ultimately inexperienced squad, without resorting to the extravagant costs and transfer fees that some others (including United) have made use of.

What more could Wenger have done this morning, even as he looked like he was trying to bury his face in his hands after 11 minutes? Blaming either the French manager or young Gibbs for Park Ji-Sung's opener is unfair by any means; Gibbs has been arguably one of the finds of Arsenal's season - like the Da Silva twins for United - and it was misfortune that gifted the South Korean midfielder his chance, which he still had to take (and which he did, admirably). The second goal, which effectively killed the tie, might be attributed to Almunia being stuck in slow-motion, but credit has to go to the brilliance of everyone's favourite scapegoat, Cristiano Ronaldo, who showed the visiting David Beckham that the number 7 jersey is well and truly his. Besides, would Fabianski have made the reaction saves to deny Rooney's curler and Ronaldo's snap shot later?

Arsenal were, of course, denied the services of their Russian maestro Andrei Arshavin, who in recent times has displayed just why for a time, he was one of the most sought-after prospects in Europe. Lacking his attacking thrust, the quadruple failings of Emmanuel Adebayor, Robin Van Persie, Theo Walcott and (the surprisingly anonymous) Cesc Fabregas failed to pose any sort of threat to the United backline. Other injuries have also forced Wenger's hand in his selection decisions, but all these reasons still cannot take anything away from the performance of United at the Emirates.

The returning Rio Ferdinand partnered with the towering presence of Nemanja Vidic, flanked by Patrice Evra and Mr. I-Can-Play-Anywhere-And-Score John O'Shea snuffed out every chance that Arsenal looked to create, and one could be forgiven into believing that Arsenal were playing without attackers. How Wenger would have loved the familiar sights of Ljungberg and Pires to stretch that back four. Or Viera to boss the midfield, which is exactly what Carrick, Fletcher and Anderson did. Again, Ferguson's selection proved to be impeccable, with Rooney's defensive instincts nullifying the speedy Walcott and Park's energy (and goal) complimenting Ronaldo's crusade in the midst of the flat-footed Arsenal defence.

The sight of empty seats midway through the second half was a stark contrast to the glorious atmosphere prior to kickoff, though I'll try and be kind and pretend that they were "evacuated" due to the apparent security threat. The Arsenal fans wouldn't have missed much anyway, with their team looking deflated even before United's lightning-quick third. Even Fletcher's (unwarranted) sending off did little to lift their spirits, and the ensuing penalty, though cooly finished, was nothing more than a small consolation.

Some may remember another famous United victory over Arsenal in the 2000/01 season, where a United team boasting the likes of Dwight Yorke and Teddy Sheringham slotted six past a hapless David Seaman. The difference was, though, that Arsenal team of old showed grit, fight, determination, character, spirit. 5-1 down at half time, they still displayed the eagerness to try and salvage some pride, while this morning's broadcast showed the world how much growing up Wenger's boys still have to do.

Comic Relief #188

Comic Relief #187

Ever-smiling Shenny, who is/was bored and looking for work.

Comic Relief #186

What happens when pink-shorts girl gets a little too tipsy from being drenched by the rain and all. Joo know who you are.

Comic Relief #185

Comic Relief #184

Well done, belated birthday girl.

Comic Relief #183

Hilarity almost always ensues when Saj, Zahrah and Fahmy start talking. Saj here with old-school curly hair.

Comic Relief #182

Words can be tricky sometimes.

Comic Relief #181

A Stinking Suspicion

If only such mysteries could be so easily solved.

Today, on the way to the previously-mentioned epic exam of the millenium, I was fortunate enough to find myself in the lush cabins of Singapore's fine MRT trains during the morning rush hour. I did have the option of taking my trusty car, but out of a hope that there would be plans with certain people to "celebrate" the end of the exams after the said paper, and the fact that the sister needed the car in the early afternoon, I opted for public transport. I ended up going straight home after the paper.

Now, those fantastically loyal readers of this humble blog may come to realise that I almost always have a weird experience or story whenever I to indulge myself and make my way onto one of the those contraptions that don't go choo-choo. I have a sneaking suspicion that the public transport Gods hate me for some reason and shape their realm to make my time in between strangers as difficult as possible.

This time, I entered the cabin and immediately sensed an aura of annoyance. I was annoyed, have been since last night (Man Utd beating Portsmouth 2-0 helped slightly), and the feeling seemed mutual among my fellow passengers. So I sighed, slumped, strode half a step in and craftily slotted myself into a gap among the tired bodies. Then I whipped out my trusty iPod and proceeded to enjoy some music. And then it happened.

The stench was deafening, and the grimace of those around me assured me I was not alone in my discomfort. I looked around, trying to identify the inconsiderate stinker, but it seemed that eeryone around me was equally stupefied or I had before me at elast one world-class actor that Mediacorp should seriously look into hiring, because frankly, the talent on show on Channel 5 is as appealing as another COM 125 exam.

So I proceeded to play detective, staring into the faces of the others caught in the acrid cloud.

Suspect 1: Chinese male, late twenties to early thirties. Skinny, sweat stains on light blue shirt and with a huge mole on the back of his neck that looks like a beetle making a home in his hair.

Suspect 2: Old Malay woman, may be referred to as a tudungster by certain individuals. Squinty eyesm hobbled to a seat and stared at person until he evacuated.

Suspect 3: Chinese male, Poly student from an educated guess. Evacuated seat after being glared at by Malay woman. Looked uncomfortable, be it from the seat situation or other bodily functions.

Suspect 4: Indian male, dark-skinned. What most would call a Bangla though no indication of ethnicity or profession was evident. Did have dirt stains on his pants, alone and not holding hands with other Indian males. No particuclar odor.

Suspect 5: Youn - No, Slightly old malay woman trying to look young. Later revealed to be friend or relative or earlier tudungster. Applied strange-looking mascara to a face that already had enough make-up to carpet Sentosa, oblivious to the fact that the amount of make-up she had could also probably help in Singapore's effort to reclaim land.

Suspect 6: Chinese female. Student, probably. Reading Harry Potter book. Blacklisted for poor literary choice.

Suspect 7: Chinese female. Middled aged woman with dyed hair that looked like a mess of copper wire. Fumbled around with LV bag. Possibly fake.

Suspect 8: Old Chinese male. Position himself behind me, and held his hands over his crotch the entire journey.

I will admit that my initial reaction to the emergence of the less-than-savory aroma in the cabin was to eye to Indian male with my best "OMG-WTF-Did-you-just-fart-in-a-crowded-train" stare. I was going to, but I found out the hard way that keeping my head level resulted in extra strong whiffs of the vapor whenever I tried to breathe. So I stared at the ceiling, trying to keep my nose above the threshold of the insidious gas. I noticed others doing the same, though Miss Harry potter was too short and looked like she was going to throw up over her stupid little book.

At the next stop a few people got out and I slid effortlessly away from the throng of people, being both considerate to boarding passengers and not wanting to be overwhelmed by the fart fumes. From this relatively safe distance, I again tried to pinpoint the culprit, the fiendish fart fellow. Still, no clues.

I arrived at my stop without furthur developments or emissions, and exitted casting a swift glance over my shoulder at the few still in the cabin. I swear the mascara woman was scratching her bum. Damn her.

On Edge

Not really sure why. Just am.

Final paper of the semester tomorrow, I should be thrillied and/or studying diligently but then lately I've been and done little of either. Possibly one of the best things that's happened recently is my learning of an interesting medical condition that someone I know seems to be afflicted with.

So I'm here in front of my laptop with its non-working keyboard (screw you, Sony Support Team), flipping between Liverpool vs Arsenal and WWE Raw in the background, and trying to digest some inane powerpoint presentation about Google and Trojans. Recently ressurected my somewhat limited DotA skeelz, and have had mixed results so far, though some of the "chat" that friends and I have witnessed have been better than the actual games.

Recently I've also been asked some questions that have been asked more times than what I would have liked, though the ones behind the questions are just curious, and I don't hold it against them. I've also had to ask a few questions, to a few people, and have not been totally happy with the responses, but then most who know me will probably realise that I do have weird, if inconsistent, standards and stuff.

Well, back to pretending to try to study.

Comic Relief #180

"I wonder what would happen if I tel my mum I have an ang moh boyfriend."

Comic Relief #179

The Sandman

Enjoy.

Comic Relief #178

Weird, random psycho dreams are randomly weird and psychotic.

Comic Relief #177

I like this one. Apparently "the one with the lead" is also acceptable.

Comic Relief #176

Seriously, Blondie singing Cher... and no, not the famous Blondie.

Comic Relief #175

I would never have guessed what would compel someone to put something like fifteen ice cubs into his or her underwear, but some people do and say the weirdest shit after a few buckets.

Comic Relief #174

When Ken's got to go, he really has to go, books or no books.

Comic Relief #173

Sometimes my parents have the best conversations.

Comic Relief #172

Awesome how zombies can really screw you over.

Comic Relief #171

The dangers of alcohol.

Comic Relief #170

Verena doesn't wear that weird skirt anymore, nor does she have the "uneven hair" or the pink streak. oh well. Semester is ending soon, and maybe now we know why some people like 242 more than others!